To not invite children to wedding?

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Recently sent out wedding invites.
We are limited on numbers so have invited children of immediate family only.

There is a large number of children not invited and to invite them would have meant finding 20 additional spaces.

People are already contacting us asking if they can bring children.

I'm starting to worry if we are being unreasonable just inviting immediate families children only (we are making exceptions for children under 1)

Nope it is standard not to invite children or only close family members children if that's what you can afford.

Obviously some people then won't be able to come but it's their choice.

It's fine. Your wedding, it's up to you.

People are so cheeky. It's not fair of them to put this pressure on you. Carry on with your plans. If they aren't invited they aren't invited.

You aren’t, but you have to accept people won’t want to/be able to come.

If that’s ok, then it’s fine.

The issue is when the bride/groom get upset with people for not coming - childcare isn’t straightforward for everyone.

Loads of people do it. Most of your responses will say its your day your choice. Personally I wouldn't have considered it, I think it's a bit shit and you might find quite a few people don't want to go.

That being said, we made it clear all kids were welcome as lucky for us we had tons of space and the cost per child was minimal, but a lot chose to leave the kids at home.

SOME people, not ALL people obviously!

I think that’s fine. It’s your wedding and your choice. It realistically means that people with children may not be able to come especially if they aren’t local. If you would be heartbroken if those guests couldn’t attend, the next pay money for the extra guests. But honestly, it’s a rare day that’s about you and your partner. You don’t have to put yourself out to accommodate everyone.

Children don't know what's going on, especially if they don't know you. And they get bored. Babies cry and mess up the vows. It's kinder not to take children to weddings.

YANBU as long as you are genuinely completely fine and not at all offended by people turning the invitation down because they can't or don't want to leave their children. This goes double (or more) for anyone who has a long way to travel and especially anyone who has to stay overnight.

You have every right not to invite kids, but parents have every right to say that in that case it won't work for them.

If you don't let that impact on your relationship with those people YANBU.

If you get upset about people declining the invitation YABU.

Stick to your guns. It's very cheeky them asking you.

We had no children. I think it's fine as long as you have a blanket rule like you have (people feel cross if they organise childcare and then get there to find that exceptions have been made for others) and accept that it may mean some people don't come.

What is wrong with people?
They are being cfs, your wedding day, invite whoever you want and if your budget doesn't run to random children then that's just how it is.

Don’t get yourself in debt for one day. If you can’t afford it, say it, they might offer to pay for their children to attend. At the end of the day, it is your day, not theirs.

I think it would be best to tell them that due to space/finances you are only having children if immediate family. Otherwise they may get annoyed when they get there and see children. I prefer not taking my children to weddings because I get to relax more.

Completely normal. Just say, due to limited numbers only family members have been asked to bring children. But you need to accept if you get a few who can’t attend

We had no children and everyone still came. If people couldn’t we’d have understood.

You dont need to explain. You stated no children and thats that.

We only had our own and siblings children there. Everyone came

Yeah, it's fine, as long as you accept some will be unable to come, and don't dress it up as doing them a favour so they can "let their hair down". All day / overnight childcare is a PITA to arrange.

As long as you understand that some people might not come then Yanbu.

Yanbu. They are cheeky asking.

I've been invited to lots of children free weddings and had to turn many down because we don't have childcare available. DH went alone.

Was I disappointed not to be able to go and celebrate their wedding? Yes.

Did I resent them and think they were shits for doing it? God no.

Agree re making the rules clear

As long as you are ok with people not being able to attend and haven't used the phrase "let your hair down" it's fine IMHO.

As long as you appreciate that some people may be unable to come because they don't have easy childcare on tap, then that is fine. Your day, your way.

I think the problem really arises if the bride/groom get snarky because people decline the invitation for this reason.

The only children at mine were my two stepdaughters and my nieces as they were all flower girls. My mates loved being child free for the day and those who didn't like the arrangement didn't have to come - simple as that!