To not make DH breakfast in school holidays?

[theporridge]

This is obviously not a world crisis, but I’m wondering what other people might think.

I’m an early riser, so I normally wake up at 5.30am with the cats. Then, in term time, I get DS up for 6am as he goes to school early for a sport he trains for. I give him porridge or eggs or something and then, because it’s cooked, I take the other 2 DDs and DH breakfast in bed . I do this because it’s easier than doing it again once they come down and I find the whole morning and everyone getting out runs more smoothly like this.

The AIBU is, I’ve still been doing breakfast in bed for DH even though it’s summer holidays. It’s been fine because I’m up anyway. However, we’re currently on holiday where there is a buffet breakfast. This morning I wasn’t well, so he brought me some fruit back in bed. I said, I could get used to this and maybe he could carry on when we got home. He said, “Charming” and “nice to know where I stand in order of family priorities.” He was joking, but not joking, if that makes sense. AIBU to think he shouldn’t actually expect me to make his breakfast, regardless of whether I do or not? Hope this makes sense? Thanks.

Aaaah, he’s one of those tossers whose wife and children end up walking on eggshells around. Not good

I don’t think he sees me as low priority in general, definitely not. But it’s more that I would be somehow neglecting him if I just stayed in bed and let him go off without food. He interprets that as me not caring.

What the hell? Surely he realises that most grown adults prepare their own breakfast (or grab a banana if they can't be bothered). Why is you not bringing him breakfast a lack of care where as him not even making his own food fine?

He didn't even actually cook the breakfast that he gave you! All he did was pick up some fruit from the buffet table at the hotel - and even that was apparently too much effort for the poor little lamb.

The DH is a lost cause but there is another generation of DC’s thinking that a women’s role is to serve. Why can’t your DC’s make your breakfast when doing their own?

Stop the breakfast in bed. (Actually stop all breakfast prep -I suggest you take up running and go for a morning run while they sort themselves out)

Do not stop the therapy - it is doing you the power of good.

I’m not sure I would show him this article because he might just dismiss it as she’s a woman, but he’s your partner - you could incorporate the ‘leave your crown at the door’ thinking into your conversation. When he comes home he’s your husband and dcs dad.

uk.businessinsider.com/how-to-stay-married-pepsico-ceo-indra-nooyi-2018-2

Do you think that you could give up giving your sons breakfast in bed - for the sake of their future partners? And for their own sakes, of course

I read something about the science behind children's and adolescent's sleepy-headedness, recently. The bottom line is - it's hard, but they have to learn to cope, to get themselves up, out and breakfasted. It's a good preparation for college, work, and relationships.

As for your cossetted husband - don't be an enabler. You are reinforcing his view of himself as an entitled Important Somebody whom everyone else has to indulge. A little change in your routine, step by step, will be needed for your own self-esteem and for restoring balance.