To ask you for your funny sleep talking stories?

[Difranco123]

I’ll kick things off. My dw is a chef and frequently wakes me up by ordering me to “take this to table three now!”. Recently she shook me awake to urgently tell me my cousin was on the bookshelf and needed talking down?!

@acsec

My response was "look out for the babies! What about the babies?!" DH asked which babies I was talking about -DD? "No, the babies there, they want their milk, the battery powered babies" was my response. No idea what battery powered babies I was dreaming about.

Had you recently watchedThe Matrix? There's a scene where babies were used as batteries.

@ShupaLumpa no, haven't watched the Matrix for years. Clearly I'm just a weirdo!

Crying with laughter reading some of these

My DS (when he was 3)

"More toothpaste at parties"

My DD (aged similar!)

"No...more...chocolate cake!!!"

I sleep walk, talk and laugh.

Once I woke DH up stating very loudly 'these rocks were formed over millions of years' (I have no particular interest in geology).

Staying at a friend's house once and sharing a bed- she woke up at about 3am to the bed shaking. After a minute or so I started hysterically laughing, great big belly laughs. Then I stopped, rolled over and started snoring.

On a school trip skiing (24hr coach journey) I fell asleep, was pretty restless grinding my teeth then punched my friend and stole her pillow

My mum found me sobbing and asked me why. "They've flushed Uncle Robert down the toilet. He's not even a fish" !!

I once told dc1 to "fuck off and go back to bed" when they came in to tell me they were having an asthma attack! Apparently I had sat up and looked right at them but had no recollection the next morning.

Thankfully the attack settled down and at 12 they found the idea of me swearing at them in my sleep hilarious

DH teaches a particular skill for a living and often does it in his sleep. There’s lots of arm waving (which can get hazardous at times!) and shouting of instructions (noisy environment) which is annoying and and amusing in fairly equal measure

I needed this thread tonight, it's just brilliant. My DH has an alarming tendency to wake me up in the middle of the night with a long, drawn-out high-pitched laughing session. He denies it, of course, but has woken the children up as well on a number of occasions. He spends a great deal of time talking about and counting cacti in his sleep as well. No idea why...

Apparently I have been known sleep sing

DH reports that I was stood up in bed,, trying to climb up the bedroom wall, whilst belting out "the hills are alive with the sound of music" when asked why I was trying to climb up the wall I replied "don't be silly Quentin, it's a mountain" who the F is Quentin

I once turned to my dh in my sleep and said “merry Christmas you filthy animal” with full accent. We haven’t even watched home alone recently 🙈

Recently I announced to my husband ''If you want to go to Japan, you need to go to Heathrow.'' Neither of us have been to Japan, and I've never been to a Japanese restaurant as the thought of raw fish turns my stomach.

I used to sleepwalk a lot too, used to try and get out of the house to ''put the rubbish out.'' Once tried to boil an egg, and another time woke up on the sofa smoking a fag.

My husband works shifts, when he was on nights I had to double and triple lock the door and ensure anything flammable was in a safe place.

My DH can have whole conversations with me in his sleep it's hilarious but the best has got to be when he sang the full Jaws theme tune!

Camping in the middle of nowhere as a teenager. Person sharing my tent wakes me up at about 3am to say there's a nutter with an axe outside the tent, then turns over and goes back to sleep! Needless to say, I didn't. They didn't remember a thing in the morning

Bumping this thread as I thought it was hilarious! Anymore funny stories?

I have always talked in my sleep, especially when I’m in an unfamiliar environment or have had a drink. Apparently I will answer any question (got my brother in trouble a few times as a teenager!), am often directing people to do things and will talk in a sing song welsh accent- I’m not welsh...