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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think it should be an actual criminal offence to get two adults to share a double bed?

146 replies

ShirleyPhallus · 04/08/2018 08:33

Fuck me a double bed is so fucking small for two adults! A child in a single bed gets more space.

Have spent a hideous night at DM’s in a tiny double but my MIL and grandmother is the same - all have double beds. I’ve been elbowed in the back a number of times and feel like I could fall off the bed at any time. Obviously all these beds have super soft mattresses so you either feel like you’ll fall off the edge or there is some droopy magnetic force pulling you both in to the middle.

How does anyone sleep with their DP in a double? I miss my big bed so much!

OP posts:
Tartyflette · 04/08/2018 11:36

We went for a superking abut three years afo after years of kingsize DH snores terrribly and at least in a superking he's further away (it does make a difference, believe me) but I can still reach out and shove-- nudge him over when it gets too bad.
And in this weather they are bliss -- no hot sweaty bodies touching at all.

I love the extra space, and you can always find a cool bit of the bed.

daisyinatree · 04/08/2018 11:38

YANBU @ShirleyPhallus I have no idea how people can sleep together in the same bed all through their marriage. It's so much more comfortable in your own bed (and your own room.) Not only do you not have to tolerate his snoring and grunting, and being prodded throughout the night, but you have your privacy and 'me-time' too. No matter how good your marriage is, you NEED your me-time.

I love going to bed at 10pm ish (some nights) and sitting in my bed in my bedroom, and reading a few chapters of my book, or watching something on netflix, and then going to sleep at 11.30pm ish.

I also agree that sleeping together in the same bed is worse as you get older. And a bigger bed doesn't cut it. There's the sprawling and fidgeting and snoring and coughing and huffing and puffing.

Me and DH have had separate beds since the kids were junior school age, (they're adults now,) and I could never share a bed with him again.

I lost count of the amount of times I would be dozing off to sleep, and he would prod me in the back sharply, or cough loudly, right at the back of my head. And his snoring (when he got past 32-33 y.o.) got unbearable. I regularly used to go sleep on the couch, like 3 or 4 nights a week. (Or I would wake him and demand that HE goes to the couch!)

After 2 or 3 years of spending half my nights on the couch - or booting him out of bed and sending HIM to the couch, I said 'enough is enough, we need to move into a bigger house with a spare bedroom.' It didn't cost much more at the time, like maybe an extra 10%, and we have had separate bedrooms since.

@SleepFreeZone

I couldn’t even share with DP in a super king 😂. He has insomnia and huffs and puffs, throws himself this way and that, has sneezing then sniffing fits. We slept together for a year or two then I said either I get my own room and bed or I think I will leave you (or murder you). So we are now in separate beds and have a very good relationship.

Yeah this. As has been said, even if you have a bigger bed, it makes very little difference, as some men snore VERY loudly. An extra foot of bed space doesn't make a jot of difference.

And I agree with all the posters saying no WAY do I want to try to sleep whilst DH is cuddling me. Ewwww, no. We're not 17 years old, and we're not in a cheesy rom-com! And I need my sleep!

Peanutbuttercups21 · 04/08/2018 11:40

I am 6ft1, DH is 6ft3

Travel to Norway, twin beds and single duvets bliss

Why do people in movies always sleep in eachothers arms? Is that realistic?

SideOrderofSprouts · 04/08/2018 11:41

We have a double and have done for
13 years. Can’t fit a bigger bed in our room
Yabu

Ihatemycar · 04/08/2018 11:45

29 years ago when we meet we could have slept in a single with plenty of room left...
Now we sleep in separate bedrooms completely. We do meet regularly but no actual sleep takes place.
We don't do sleepovers.

starcrossedseahorse · 04/08/2018 11:47

Superking all the way.

sagasleathertrousers · 04/08/2018 11:52

We could have easily had a super king in our room but for some reason I thought it looked massive in the shop and went for king - big mistake. I get breathed on. So I have to turn over to face the outside of the bed. And I have a three year old who likes to come in at 4am and sleep horizontally. There is no chance we would still be together if we had a double bed.

HappySeven · 04/08/2018 11:55

I share a double with my 6 ft 6 husband. No issues at all although when we stay in a double at my parents' that has a footboard he does struggle and sometimes sleeps a bit diagonally which can make my side "cosy".

Idontmeanto · 04/08/2018 12:00

I slept in my 16 year-olds single while she was on residential. It was bliss!
The standard double with crappy mattress at the in-laws is grim.

Justanotheruser01 · 04/08/2018 12:00

YES!! were on holiday at the moment 4* hotel but the bed is a double, we have a super king at home and just get used to the space and the decent pillows and mattress. Awful sleep

gamerwidow · 04/08/2018 12:00

I share a double with my DH and have done for 20 years. I'm 5 ft 7 and he is 6 ft. We've never had issues with touching each other or getting in each other's space (unless we want to).
The only time a king size might have been better was when DD was little and used to get in our bed.
I don't think I'd buy a bigger bed now, it takes up too much floor space.

Bambamber · 04/08/2018 12:01

We fit 2 small adults and a toddler in our double, it's bliss when one of us falls asleep on the couch rather than comes to bed Grin

brattitude · 04/08/2018 12:47

7 foot bed here.
It's bigger than a SK and is absolutely fabulous although we have a SK duvet on it. Plenty of room for me and my stack of pillows and the kids

Mind you, the price of the mattress and the 4 inch memory foam topper on top was equally as fabulous. Cheaper than a divorce though. I would absolutely love my own bedroom though but unless we win the lottery and move that won't be happening.

ShirleyPhallus · 04/08/2018 18:09

it takes up too much floor space.

What else will you do with the space?!

OP posts:
grasspigeons · 04/08/2018 18:17

If we are presented with a standard double DH sleeps on the floor (his choice) He is massive (6ft 4 20 stone) and fidgets. I also don't see how couples share baths

EggysMom · 04/08/2018 18:32

I used to share a King bed with my Ex, and I still couldn't stand the cuddling / touching / breathing ... I guess that's why he's my Ex Grin Now share a double with DH, have done for nine years, his breathing doesn't bother me, and we are both occasional cuddlers - roll over, stretch arm out over the other person for a short while. Mind you, it probably helps that I get three hours in the bed on my own before he joins me (lark & owl).

AlphaBravo · 04/08/2018 18:33

Superking all the way. If we ever had to have smaller for space I'd get bunkbeds Grin

A standard double is what kids get given these days.

rainbowfudgee · 04/08/2018 18:35

I have my own double and ensuite. DH has his own double room and ensuite on the opposite side of the house. I call it the man wing.

It works for us!

happymummy12345 · 04/08/2018 18:36

We never have any problems at all. If you struggle with a double, back when I was living in halls, my now husband then boyfriend stayed in my room, in a single bed. We both shared a single bed. Now that was a bit uncomfortable but we managed..

polkadotpixie · 04/08/2018 19:32

I share a double with my husband and a bed hogging Staffy. I'm also 33 weeks pregnant 😂

The husband and bed aren't really a problem, the dog drives me mad though because he insists on lying diagonally across where my legs would comfortably be and is too heavy to move 😩

gamerwidow · 04/08/2018 19:37

What else would you do with the floor space
Nothing but I can’t stand cluttered rooms I like a lot of gap.

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