To think it should be an actual criminal offence to get two adults to share a double bed?

[ShirleyPhallus]

Fuck me a double bed is so fucking small for two adults! A child in a single bed gets more space.

Have spent a hideous night at DM’s in a tiny double but my MIL and grandmother is the same - all have double beds. I’ve been elbowed in the back a number of times and feel like I could fall off the bed at any time. Obviously all these beds have super soft mattresses so you either feel like you’ll fall off the edge or there is some droopy magnetic force pulling you both in to the middle.

How does anyone sleep with their DP in a double? I miss my big bed so much!

Neither I nor DP are huge and we have a super king, I’d never go back to a double. We got it initially as we had been cosleeping with dd for a year in a king and it was too cramped (DD inherited her fathers starfish gene ) but soon after we got the super king she moved into her own bed. So now the amount of space I have is truly blissful, especially in this heat I couldn’t bear being squished up next to someone else’s hot sweaty body, I don’t even want to touch my own skin. We share a duvet but have our own sheets to prevent wrestling over covers. And dd gets in between 4-5 am most mornings so it pays to have the super. The only bad thing about having such a big bed is that you can’t wash all of the bedding in one go, and now we are looking at buying our own place I have to make sure our bed will fit in the bedroom of a different, less spacious place.

Well I can't help but agree Shirley!

I have never understood why 2 grown adults are expected to share a 4 foot X 6 foot space, to (try to) sleep for 8-9 hours - it is quite horrendous really.

I mean there are worse things to suffer in life - as you probably know LOL - but sharing a bed with someone is actually quite horrible most of the time. What with being kicked and elbowed, and having the quilt hoiked off you, getting hot and sweaty, his farting, his grunting, and OMG the SNORING.

So many marriages have been affected/ruined by intense snoring.

Sleeping in the same bed as your spouse harks back to days of old, when (usually poor) people did it to keep warm, and because of a lack of room. For some reason, people continued to do it, and in the eyes of some people, it's thought that there must be something wrong with your marriage if you have separate bedrooms.

Weird really, because many of the happiest, most successful marriages are where the couple have separate bedrooms. Most of the middle and upper classes have separate bedrooms, and many expensive and upmarket homes are sold with 2 double bedrooms, to enable both adults in a couple to sleep separately.

Me and DH have had separate bedrooms for about 10 years now, and would never go back - never. It's cute and cosy to sleep together in the same bed when you're 18-20, and are in the early throes of your relationship, but long-term, not so much. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture, so why put yourself through it voluntarily?!

So many people have said 'get a super king bed,' but that only gives you 18 inches of extra width, with isn't all that much really, and it doesn't eliminate issues like farting, grunting, and snoring. If you have got one, separate bedrooms are definitely the best!

If people can get past this ridiculous idea that 'it's not right' for a married couple to sleep separately, and not give a fuck what anyone else thinks, there would a LOT more happy marriages! And despite all the shoutouts for a super king bed, separate bedrooms are waaaaay better if you want a good night's sleep...

Every time me and DH go on holiday, we book separate rooms. Doesn't cost THAT much more, and it's utter bliss. You can see the envious eyes of the other couples as they wonder why they didn't think to book separate rooms. And the women stagger downstairs to the dining room for breakfast, with a haggard look, as their snoring husbands have kept them awake half the night!!!

@sexnotgender

Shared a double bed with my husband with no issues at all. We moved and bought a king size and actually I hate how far away he is.

A king size bed is SIX inches bigger than a double! He's not that much further away.

YANBU. Never in a million years could I spend every night with DH in just a double. I can't believe so many posters say they cope fine.

We have three non-negotiables for holiday accommodation - wifi, parking and (at least) kingsize bed. You can’t search on the last of those, and it’s often not noted, so I spend a lot of time closely examining photos - two beds together will be at least a king in combination, possibly superking. Pillows not taking up the entire width of the bed is a good sign!

I think it’s what you’re used to and how you sleep. We have a superking and are okay with a king, but standard double is tricky. We’re opposite sleepers - DH is quick to get to sleep but sleeps lightly, I take ages but sleep like the dead once I’m there. We both snore ... under the ‘right’ circumstances we’re capable of destroying each other’s sleep.

Meanwhile my parents, who are bigger than us overall (mum wider than me and dad taller than DH) sleep in a double that looks like dolls house furniture to me ... and have just replaced the 4’ bed on their boat with one that’s 3’6” or something daft.

Yanbu. I have a superking and I'm single! If the dds and the bloody dog get in it's still too small!!

I’m also not keen on twin beds in hotels etc as then I can’t passive-aggressively bounce him awake when he starts snoring. Separate room (soundproofed) would be better.

Completely agree. Super king all the way.

Surprises me that so many people don't like being touched while sleeping.

DH and I cuddle together like a couple of puppies in a basket.

(Mind, it's bloody hot at the moment

We're fine in our double but he usually cuddles me the entire night so we are both mainly on my side. Don't use about a quarter of the bed most of the time.

We had a King size bed in our bedroom and a double bed in the spare room.

Naturally, when the king size bed broke we went and slept in the double bed. The next morning we were straight online to find a new bed 😂 had barely any room in that double!

Our new bed is a little wider than a king and it’s bliss. We can be close to each other or we can not be. Hate sleeping in doubles now and I have no idea how we coped when we used to share a single bed at Uni 😂

he usually cuddles me the entire night so we are both mainly on my side.

Urrgh. Fuck right off with that. Keep to your own side of the bed, don't touch me, don't even breathe on me. Someone who wanted to cuddle all night would be send off to a single bed, with a teddy bear.

We sleep in a double just fine were both a bit chubby too and sometimes have some 4am small people join us too

I couldn’t even share with DP in a super king 😂. He has insomnia and huffs and puffs, throws himself this way and that, has sneezing then sniffing fits. We slept together for a year or two then I said either I get my own room and bed or I think I will leave you (or murder you). So we are now in separate beds and have a very good relationship 🤪

Urrgh. Fuck right off with that. Keep to your own side of the bed, don't touch me, don't even breathe on me. Someone who wanted to cuddle all night would be send off to a single bed, with a teddy bear.

LOL, I am the same. I HATE cuddly sleepers. I went mad at DP for breathing on my neck once lmao. Sleep with your back to my back and don’t touch me!

I'm just back in the king size after being In the spare room with the baby. I would love to not share a room. He snores and we go to bed about 3 hours apart

I agree. We have a king at home which is perfect. A standard double feels like a squeeze. I like my own space, dont want to be touched and move around a lot in my sleep. We're on holiday now with a double and dh is sleeping on the sofa! My 4yo in a single bed, now that's a lovely lot of space!

We have a standard double. We often have a king size on holidays and don’t like it as we feel a bit separated IYSWIM. We do have a king size duvet though.....

he usually cuddles me the entire night so we are both mainly on my side

I can’t think of anything worse

Super king at home, love it, would never get a smaller bed. Currently sharing a double with a 6yo and she's driving me crazy. The thought of having another adult in here gives me the heebee geebies!

My DP fidgets. I find our Kingsize too small. I hate being touched and he’s always moving. We don’t stay anywhere Unless it’s a Superking as it’s not worth paying for a shit night sleep. We had to share a double a couple of months ago and I ended up in tears sleeping on the floor as he starfishes me off the bed and wouldn’t wake the fuck up.

We were fine sleeping in a double or king until our 40s. Then, a combination of me developing restless legs, insomnia and my husband working shifts at that point - plus both of us being occasional snorers - saw us sleeping in separate rooms.

I think also that the younger you are, the easier you sleep - generally speaking. Sleep become more problematic and troublesome with age.

I've got so used to this now that I can't share a bed any longer. I read recently in a piece on good sleep that people should sleep in separate beds and ideally in separate rooms to ensure a good night's sleep. It certainly works for us. Hotel booking can be quite problematic at times, though.

We have a superking but only so we can fit all the dc in it for weekend morning cuddles.

Dh is 6'1 but I'm teeny (like 5' nothing and 6.5st) and pretty much lie on top of him so even on a double we take up just about half the bed.

YANBU OP. We have a super king and had to sleep in a double when we holidayed in Greece last year.

I ended up sleeping in the single bed and making toddler DS sleep with DH in the double. If we didn't have a spare bed I don't think we would have come back in a relationship fecking elbows and knees galore I could have suffocated him as he slept!!

Thanks to those who gave me the sizes. Gosh OP, YANBU, 137 cm is tiny! But I don't understand why there's such a huge gap between kingsize and superking - 30cm is a lot. As I said, 160cm is perfect for us, but that's midway between king and super.

I hear you.

We have a super king and it’s absolutely brilliant (it can’t stop his snoring though!). When we go anywhere to stay and there’s just a double, it’s very hard to readjust. I say always go for the biggest bed you can squeeze in and sod the space!