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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for forcing this woman to wear a seatbelt?

208 replies

CGaus · 04/08/2018 08:33

I was on a 14 seater minibus today on the way to the ski fields. We drove along one of Australia’s most dangerous, icy alpine roads. Before driving, the driver asked if everyone had a seatbelt on - most people said yes, but the driver didn’t get out and check each person’s seatbelt.

We got to a snow chain checkpoint, and I noticed that two women in their 20s or 30s weren’t wearing seatbelts.
This is in Australia, it’s illegal not to wear a seatbelt - though only the driver (not the passengers without seatbelts) would have been fined $564 or £321 and given 6 demerit points. Apart from that wearing a seatbelt is obviously important for safety.

I said to the women in a friendly tone “sorry but you’ve forgotten to put your seatbelt on!”. The response was “um no I’m fine”. I said that the driver could be fined if passengers weren’t wearing seatbelts, she said “okay” really slowly. I then added “it’s also really dangerous”...and this time she just looked away and didn’t say anything, I then heard the women speaking with each other about it. I let it go, and decided to bring it up to the driver when we arrived - it wasn’t possible to speak to him without shouting from where I was sitting at the back of the bus.

The bus pulled over again for a random breath test, again I asked the women to please put their belts on, much more assertively than before and loudly enough that the driver could hear. The driver heard me and checked that everyone was wearing belts, probably because there were coppas a metre away for the breath checks. Once we passed the checkpoint though one of the women took her belt off again! I was genuinely shocked and just said “seriously” in what I admit was a rude manner. So AIBU for asking an adult to wear a seatbelt?!

So AIBU for insisting a grown woman wear a seatbelt? And should I bother saying anything on the return journey? The driver can’t see the entire bus properly and his eyes need to be on the road!

OP posts:
MsVestibule · 04/08/2018 08:41

No, YWNBU. She's putting other people in danger if the bus crashes - rather than being restrained in her seat, she may kill one of her fellow passengers. However, you're braver than I would have been!

IceCreamFace · 04/08/2018 08:42

YANBU she sounds like an overgrown 10 year old.

RoboticSealpup · 04/08/2018 08:43

YANBU. She's a bloody idiot. But yeah she probably thinks you're an annoying busybody.

froodledoodle · 04/08/2018 08:44

That sort of thing makes my blood boil, especially as the woman are prepared to let the driver potentially be fined and worse, for a professional driver, loose 6 demerit points.

I'd warn the driver, as he can ensure that everyone is warned about using their seatbelts, because it might provide him with some legal cover in the event of an accident and the women trying to claim compensation.

However, looking out my window and seeing darkness falling, you're probably already on your way back to Jindabyne or wherever - if you're in the Eastern States.

Stripybeachbag · 04/08/2018 08:45

No, not if the driver is going to get fined and get the points.

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 04/08/2018 08:45

YANBU. Fair enough for her if she wants to get her neck broken in an accident, but in a minibus she’d be taking others with her. She’s a selfish and unthinking twit.

marvellousnightforamooncup · 04/08/2018 08:46

YWNBU, was she trying to be clever or something? Sounds very childish of her.

If it were just that she would possibly die in a nasty accident I'd have left it. Her problem, her choice. It's the impact on the driver that is unfair.

You were far more assertive than I would have been. Fair play to you.

ComtessedeLancret · 04/08/2018 08:47

Definitely not being unreasonable. She sounds like a right dickhead. I live 2.5hrs drive from thredbo so have done the icy drive many times and you’d be a fucking idiot not to wear a seatbelt. I always imagine what if you slide off the road and roll down one of the hills like at least with a seatbelt you’d have a better chance of survival!

PixieN · 04/08/2018 08:48

If I were the driver, I’d treat them like kids and make them sit at the front of the bus so I could check they were wearing seatbelts.

Original poster
CGaus · 04/08/2018 09:00

Thanks Mumsnet, you’ve all emboldened me to say something to them now. Yes froodledoodle you’re right, we’re heading back down the mountain now. I told the driver earlier, he asked everyone to put on their seatbelts and made it clear that it’s against the law not to wear seatbelts... and yet the women are both not wearing seatbelts again. It’s dark now so the driver can’t be constantly monitoring to make sure they leave their seatbelts on.
Honestly I think they’re just the type of people who don’t like being told what to do. Unsurprisingly we saw them at the lockers putting their free helmets away and going out to ski!
They’re 2 rows in front of me right now so I’ll just have to shout at them to put their seatbelts on. I don’t care if I’m the embarrassing mum now, I never even considered the risk of them falling and hurting someone else 😡

OP posts:
onalongsabbatical · 04/08/2018 09:02

Good for you OP. Definitely the right thing. Silly mares.

sexnotgender · 04/08/2018 09:03

YANBU, they sound like arseholes.

Also it's not necessarily them that would get injured in a crash, they'd wipe out the poor sods in front of them most likely.

Plus it's the drivers license at stake.

itbemay · 04/08/2018 09:06

They are endangering the lives of others not just themselves. If there was an accident the person sitting in front of them would have the full impact of their unseatbelted bodies slamming into them and likely others too. YANBU

DrinkFeckArseGirls · 04/08/2018 09:08

It’s the driver’s responsibility, he should have refused to take them back or say to the breath control patrol theybwere refusing to comply - leave them with the patrol

TheSerenDipitY · 04/08/2018 09:12

kinda fucken stupid of them, in NZ we just had a tourist bus that the brakes failed while coming down the mountain from a ski field and it rolled and a teenager died, and not one week later another bus has crashed and injured many people... if it has seat belts wear them, the driver doesnt deserve the fines and demerits and other on the bus havent agreed to take the risk of her body flying about and injuring them in the event of a crash

Weepingangels · 04/08/2018 09:12

Yanbu. Selfish prats.

littleFearOfHumans · 04/08/2018 09:18

This reply has been deleted

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Thatssomebadhatharry · 04/08/2018 09:20

Dicks. Is everyone else hearing you? Are they ok with it? You are trying to make everyone safer hope someone’s got your back. Other than us!!

StringandGlitter · 04/08/2018 09:20

WTF littlefearofhumans? Projecting much?

Jozxyqk · 04/08/2018 09:27

Seriously, LittleFearOfHumans?

ResistanceIsNecessary · 04/08/2018 09:27

Looks like someone got out of bed on the wrong side this morning.

Catastic · 04/08/2018 09:31

I had a similar battle of wills with an exchange student recently. I would tell her to put her seat belt on and she would take it off mid-journey. Every. Time.

She said in her country no one wears a seat belt. I have no idea if this is true or not, but I told her I wouldn't be able to drive her anywhere if she kept taking it off and even had to pull the car over once. I just don't understand why it's an issue. It's not as though wearing a seat belt is particularly restrictive. And it can save your life FFS.

Yanbu at all.

sexnotgender · 04/08/2018 09:32

Think one of the non seatbelt wearers has found the threadGrin

Cheby · 04/08/2018 09:34

They are selfish idiots and YANBU

Pengggwn · 04/08/2018 09:34

They sound like twats, but it wasn't your role to "insist" on anything and yes, you definitely sound like a busybody.