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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for forcing this woman to wear a seatbelt?

208 replies

CGaus · 04/08/2018 08:33

I was on a 14 seater minibus today on the way to the ski fields. We drove along one of Australia’s most dangerous, icy alpine roads. Before driving, the driver asked if everyone had a seatbelt on - most people said yes, but the driver didn’t get out and check each person’s seatbelt.

We got to a snow chain checkpoint, and I noticed that two women in their 20s or 30s weren’t wearing seatbelts.
This is in Australia, it’s illegal not to wear a seatbelt - though only the driver (not the passengers without seatbelts) would have been fined $564 or £321 and given 6 demerit points. Apart from that wearing a seatbelt is obviously important for safety.

I said to the women in a friendly tone “sorry but you’ve forgotten to put your seatbelt on!”. The response was “um no I’m fine”. I said that the driver could be fined if passengers weren’t wearing seatbelts, she said “okay” really slowly. I then added “it’s also really dangerous”...and this time she just looked away and didn’t say anything, I then heard the women speaking with each other about it. I let it go, and decided to bring it up to the driver when we arrived - it wasn’t possible to speak to him without shouting from where I was sitting at the back of the bus.

The bus pulled over again for a random breath test, again I asked the women to please put their belts on, much more assertively than before and loudly enough that the driver could hear. The driver heard me and checked that everyone was wearing belts, probably because there were coppas a metre away for the breath checks. Once we passed the checkpoint though one of the women took her belt off again! I was genuinely shocked and just said “seriously” in what I admit was a rude manner. So AIBU for asking an adult to wear a seatbelt?!

So AIBU for insisting a grown woman wear a seatbelt? And should I bother saying anything on the return journey? The driver can’t see the entire bus properly and his eyes need to be on the road!

OP posts:
MumsTheWordYouKnow · 05/08/2018 18:18

I f*ing hate people like, utter dickheads. Sorry to sound so crude.

Icanttakemuchmore · 05/08/2018 18:26

The ones without seat belts were putting the people sitting in front of them in danger also. As, if involved in a collision they would very likely be sent forward at speed, hitting the seat in front and catapulting the person in that seat, forward. So all round pretty dangerous, stupid and very selfish on their part. I would have got the driver to stop and insist they put their belts on. I'm not going to risk my life for anyone's stupidity or selfishness.

Icanttakemuchmore · 05/08/2018 18:40

PS. I'm not fat, happily married, ran an office of 14 people until retiring this week...... And I would have said sonething to the women not wearing belts for sure.

Mrseft · 05/08/2018 18:42

They are selfish idiots. Fine if it’s just them in a vehicle, up to them if they want to risk their own deaths. But in a minibus, they risk others lives and jobs etc. Completely and utterly unreasonable and dangerous.

Enthymeme · 05/08/2018 18:54

An unrestrained person, child or adult, in a vehicle involved in an accident, is a danger to the other occupants. While you can’t force someone to wear a seatbelt you can refuse to travel in the same vehicle. I’m afraid you just have to accept that there are brainless, selfish idiots everywhere.

GabsAlot · 05/08/2018 19:03

pepole still ski without helmets even after poor natasha richardson andothers have died-that of coujrse is up them

a seatbelt in a bus is different-good for you op

Disquieted1 · 05/08/2018 19:04

I carry a portable seatbelt harness for use on all trains and buses that do not have them. I have no time for those selfish people who do not and thereby endanger other people's lives.

didyouseetheflaresinthesky · 05/08/2018 19:18

Maybe the OP is being a busybody but I'd sure thank her for it if I was sitting in front of these fuckwaffles. How stupid do you have to be? I mean, I'm all for natural selection, I think it should be a tickbox on accident forms actually but when you endanger others, you're just an arsehole.

CoolCarrie · 05/08/2018 19:36

Littlefear, you are fucking hilarious...not. You being slim and happily married is totally irrelevant

Degustibusnonestdisputandem1 · 05/08/2018 19:37

Let me guess, Mount Hotham road?

Roselind · 05/08/2018 19:50

So the bus crashes and the 2 women without seatbelts are seriously injured/die.
Theme of a lot of the replies is so what their choice.
Not much fun though for the others on the bus to see them in pieces or indeed for the police and paramedics. Or what about the resources spent trying to save them if they do make it but are seriously injured? What about the benefits they will claim if they are disabled for life?

Nothing we do happens in a vacuum and good on OP for taking the issue. However, perhaps one to have let go after the first attempt, only because humans are perverse creatures and once challenged will tend to stick to a point of view no matter how irrational.

84CharingCrossRoad · 05/08/2018 20:14

I've told this story on here before on seat belt threads but will share it again.
When I was six years old a friends brother was driving me home alone from school. It was the mid 1970s and he was driving a Morris Traveller which had no rear seat belts and tip up seats. He was driving thankfully not very fast through windy country lanes. He went round a corner and met a tractor coming the other way. He slammed on the brakes and yours truly went sailing from the back into the front. I hit my head on the dashboard and narrowly missed the windscreen. Hence why I'm now neurotic about people wearing seat belts in the car!! Shock

jade9390 · 05/08/2018 20:47

Hate people like that, it is inconsiderate. I wonder if the driver also loses his job, if he gets caught or maybe even his license, if caught a few times :( I have been up a lot of mountains on bus trips, it is essential just to stay in your seat.

jade9390 · 05/08/2018 20:51

If you are in another country, you adhere to their laws, not the ones in your own country. They may have been from a country with less safety laws, so are ignorant but it is also rude and disrespectful

MipMipMip · 05/08/2018 21:02

There's a lot of people here who didn't read The Silver Brumby as children. Grin

Good for you OP. And people saying the driver should have done this - he did. And was then in a situation where he couldn't see if they took them off.

manicmij · 05/08/2018 22:25

Would the same two women go in a car without fixing a seatbelt? Totally irresponsible and selfish passengers. The bus should be fitted with a system that alerts the driver if a seatbelt isn't fastened especially if he is the one who would have the penalties. YWNBU.

Cornishclio · 05/08/2018 22:41

Some people just think they are clever for refusing to do what they are supposed to and somehow think they are above having to follow the normal rules. Good on you OP for saying something. Most of the time the people who refuse to follow rules are also rude, obnoxious and abusive so you risk getting an earful if you tackle people like that. I think if it impacted on no one else leaving them to take their chances is fine but if the driver gets fined or a loose body flying around in a crashed minibus is a danger to other passengers then saying something is responsible.

I do not really understand why there cannot be some sort of warning light to say not all belts are done up so the driver can check. My car throws a fit if I get in and start driving without a belt on even if I am still on our driveway reversing to get off.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 05/08/2018 22:48

Lonica I have a permanently fractured sternum so I have a doctor's certificate that I keep in my purse and can whip out if I'm pulled over.

LoniceraJaponica · 05/08/2018 22:57

Sounds painful Lying

GilligansKitchenIsland · 05/08/2018 23:03

I'm a happily married, enthusiastic but unskilled DIY-er, who's mostly slim but can't seem to shift my muffin top. I think the OP sounds fab! People who don't wear seatbelts just because they don't feel like it are beyond dickish. I'm never brave enough to say anything though Blush

Boulty · 05/08/2018 23:12

She an ignorant and YANBU

Original poster
CGaus · 05/08/2018 23:36

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe
I suppose it’s a slim possiblility there was some sort of muscular skeletal issue that meant they both were exempt from seatbelts, but I suppose I assumed because they were skiing that this wouldn’t be the case.

It was a Mercedes van/minibus thing, looked very new and every seat was fitted with a seatbelt, and they had car seats for children as well so I can’t understand (disabilities aside) why you wouldn’t use the safety features available to you. Both women had Aussie accents so I assume they understand that seatbelts are a ‘thing’ here.

Degustibusnonestdisputandem1 - yes the Great Alpine Rd on the way back from Hotham.

Teacher22 - I brought it up again on the return loudly enough for the driver and other passengers on the way back - two people didn’t say anything, but the other families and most importantly the driver also insisted on the seatbelt. The driver flat out said he couldn’t drive them if they weren’t wearing seatbelts, and the women put them on and left them on (but were all huffy about it 🙄) Another passenger brought up that he didn’t want them flying into his child if they did crash, so clearly others were concerned I think they just didn’t notice or hear me the first time.

OP posts:
Original poster
CGaus · 05/08/2018 23:50

Degustibusnonestdisputandem1 - Sorry to clarify today was just a day trip to Baw Baw, we usually go to Hotham though and The Great Alpine road is particularly bad, especially as you can’t always see the ice and Australians tend not to have much experience on icy roads. This is my first time taking the bus in years as I went up with the children without DH and was too nervous to drive myself.

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 06/08/2018 00:29

It can be, Lonica, but it's manageable. As I said, I do wear one if I have other people in the car with me, it's just not worth the risk.

CGaus, I think you're right - and, if they had legitimate reason not wearing a seatbelt then they'd have a certificate too - and if they couldn't comply then they'd not travel on the bus with others. Seatbelt exemptions are not easy to come by, doctors really don't issue them without a real need because obviously, seatbelts save lives.

riceuten · 06/08/2018 01:34

I associate this behaviour more with people in their 60s and 70s who regard - in the UK at least - the "imposition" of seat belts as a terrible thing. A woman who was giving us a lift at a wedding we were at dealt a killer blow to someone who was refusing by slowing down on the hard shoulder and saying - "well, you better get out and walk then" (we were on the A road heading to the venue from the church). She put the seat belt on.