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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU for forcing this woman to wear a seatbelt?

208 replies

CGaus · 04/08/2018 08:33

I was on a 14 seater minibus today on the way to the ski fields. We drove along one of Australia’s most dangerous, icy alpine roads. Before driving, the driver asked if everyone had a seatbelt on - most people said yes, but the driver didn’t get out and check each person’s seatbelt.

We got to a snow chain checkpoint, and I noticed that two women in their 20s or 30s weren’t wearing seatbelts.
This is in Australia, it’s illegal not to wear a seatbelt - though only the driver (not the passengers without seatbelts) would have been fined $564 or £321 and given 6 demerit points. Apart from that wearing a seatbelt is obviously important for safety.

I said to the women in a friendly tone “sorry but you’ve forgotten to put your seatbelt on!”. The response was “um no I’m fine”. I said that the driver could be fined if passengers weren’t wearing seatbelts, she said “okay” really slowly. I then added “it’s also really dangerous”...and this time she just looked away and didn’t say anything, I then heard the women speaking with each other about it. I let it go, and decided to bring it up to the driver when we arrived - it wasn’t possible to speak to him without shouting from where I was sitting at the back of the bus.

The bus pulled over again for a random breath test, again I asked the women to please put their belts on, much more assertively than before and loudly enough that the driver could hear. The driver heard me and checked that everyone was wearing belts, probably because there were coppas a metre away for the breath checks. Once we passed the checkpoint though one of the women took her belt off again! I was genuinely shocked and just said “seriously” in what I admit was a rude manner. So AIBU for asking an adult to wear a seatbelt?!

So AIBU for insisting a grown woman wear a seatbelt? And should I bother saying anything on the return journey? The driver can’t see the entire bus properly and his eyes need to be on the road!

OP posts:

sashh · 04/08/2018 13:20

I didn’t know Australia had skiing. I thought you were trying to say Austria. Misses the point.

More permanent snow in Oz than Austria, Italy, Switzerland, France...

They just keep it quiet.

I once told a passenger in my car I'd only just met (friend of a friend) I don't give a shit about the fine, I did give a shit about breaking my neck.

I would have probably kept asking the driver to stop while people put their seat belts back on.

Original poster

CGaus · 04/08/2018 13:51

My understanding of the law is that where a seatbelt is fitted in a bus, then it must be worn. The driver even said that people have been fined in the past - it's not uncommon to have police doing random breath tests in Alpine areas at the weekend and they do issues fines for this regardless of the size of the bus - if there is a seatbelt (and there almost always is) then of course the police will tell you to wear it! Beyond that, the company requires passengers to comply with the driver's instructions (such as to wear wear belts) just as they ask people not to smoke in the bus - and that's perfectly acceptable and if you're not willing to comply with that you shouldn't be able to ride the bus at all.

OP posts:

Original poster

CGaus · 04/08/2018 14:00

PastaRedWine -
It is utterly pathetic and stupid to not wear a seatbelt... or to ski without a helmet!!
I think for me the difference between the seatbelt and the helmet is the seatbelt issue could impact on everyone else in the bus, so in my head that justified saying something. The driver could be fined, or others injured in an accident if they weren't correctly restrained.
I obviously didn't say anything about them choosing not to wear helmets, they'll only hurt themselves and it's not my place to say anything. Helmets are free with all ski rentals, and the staff explain that you really should wear them because of the risk of head injuries but the women both took them really begrudgingly...It's just so weird to me, I thought helmets and seatbelts were just really normal safety things that you wouldn't even think twice about!

OP posts:

immortalmarble · 04/08/2018 14:18

I agree with Pengggwn too.

HoppingPavlova · 04/08/2018 14:33

Yeah, no one cares if they don’t wear helmets. They can have their heads lopped off for all anyone gives a shit. It’s when their choices have the potential to adversely effect others it becomes an issue and other people’s business.

NoCanoe · 04/08/2018 14:42

Not wearing a seatbelt is not just an individual independent choice. It can impact on others in severe life changing ways.
I know thats already been said, but it clearly needs to be repeated for some!
Its all very well taking a risk with your own life, but dont involve other innocent people.
And I too pondering on how being slim , middle management etc....bacame relevant to the topic in question!
Im fat, middle of nothing. HTH to determine the credibility you give to my post...?

SchadenfreudePersonified · 04/08/2018 15:37

Goat maybe that’s how we all need to announce every post from now on.

I’m about a stone overweight, I’m middle-management and engaged, and I think YANBU.

saxaphone

SchadenfreudePersonified · 04/08/2018 15:41

powershower

My word! That's brutal.

Toddleoo · 04/08/2018 15:42

I'm slightly overweight but very happy with my size, refused a promotion 3 months ago as my management role is exactly where I want to be, I'm happily married with one child (active choice to stop at one), 5'7 and a Leo and I think YANBU.

DaisyDreaming · 04/08/2018 15:49

I used to have this argument with someone, my winning point was always it’s fine if you don’t care about dying in a crash but the impact from your body being thrown forwards can kill the person in front of you (that 90’s safety advert of 2 teenagers in a car with a mum and the teen in the back killing his mum clearly stayed with me)

IdaDown · 04/08/2018 15:58

Oz has snow...

Yer learn something new every day

Excited0803 · 04/08/2018 15:59

I'm still carrying excess baby and breastfeeding weight, in a happy partnership and self-employed contracting in senior manager roles. I washed my hair in the shower earlier today and the hall needs repainting. Now my credentials are clear, YWNBU and if I'd been on the bus I would have been grateful for you speaking up.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 04/08/2018 16:10

schadenfreude - did you watch the suggested montage that came up after that link video ended? That was so much more brutal in places - especially the real life pics :(

In the end the bus driver has the say. If he says "buckle up or get off" then that's what has to happen and he has the law on his side, regardless of exemptions (which doubtless do NOT apply in this case or the stroppy women would, I'm quite sure, have been very vocal about them)

Motherof · 04/08/2018 16:20

The fine should go to the person not wearing the seat belt,the driver has enough to take care of,bet if they thought they would get a personal fine they’d have them on,some people are just ignorant beyond belief

RoseTinted1 · 04/08/2018 16:23

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Fabricwitch · 04/08/2018 16:24

YANBU.
I wouldn't worry about the driver being fined, you let him know and he still let them back on the bus. If you're really worried about them not wearing their seatbelts then I would start giving out to the bus driver too, he should have refused to let them on.
It is really dangerous. When I was in school a school bus (not mine) was in a crash, and all the kids not wearing seatbelts landed on the kids wearing their seatbelts, who were injured and at least 3 died.
In a bus they could really land anywhere and kill passengers with their seatbelts on. Of course it's your business, they are putting your life in just as much danger as theirs.

Lizzie48 · 04/08/2018 16:39

I can't understand why some posters are suggesting that the OP was 'a prick' or should have minded her own business. Do you really not get it? It can happen that it's the people wearing seatbelts who have to face the consequences of these irresponsible actions.

RoseTinted1 · 04/08/2018 16:42

It's absolutely none of the other passengers business.

It's up to the driver to check.

You can't FORCE another adult to do something.

RoseTinted1 · 04/08/2018 16:43

I also agree the fine should go to the adult not wearing the seat belt not the driver.

brizzledrizzle · 04/08/2018 16:51

If it was just their life that they were risking then I'd say let them get on with it but to be such idiots when it's the driver's job at stake and the safety of others they are beyond idiotic. A long way beyond.

liverbird10 · 04/08/2018 16:55

You are sensible, she sounds like an irresponsible childish moron.

ResistanceIsNecessary · 04/08/2018 17:01

Are we making this a MN thing, where you have to justify your position by sharing some personal info?

I'm a short, rotund, middle management, happily married homeowner who thinks the OP was being brave to speak up.

FissionChips · 04/08/2018 17:15

It's absolutely none of the other passengers business

I bet you’d be saying different if your young child was crushed to death due to an idiot refusing to wear a seatbelt.

You can't FORCE another adult to do something

Of course you can. The driver just refuses to transport the idiots unless they wear seatbelts.

liverbird10 · 04/08/2018 17:21

What is it with the 'you have the right not to wear a seatbelt and therefore become a danger to yourself and others' brigade?! It's not only childish beyond belief, it's downright stupid.

RoseTinted1 · 04/08/2018 17:37

I agree that the person should have been wearing a seat belt.

The driver is in charge of the vehicle and should have checked.

The other passengers have no right to say anything.

Fissionchips - I wouldn't put my child in that position to begin with.

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