To ask for your “not so Mumsnet” life hacks

[anothernameagain000]

While I’m a sucker for great tips to save time on ironing, cut down my cooking times and being a domestic whizz, as it’s friday evening and I’m bored - tell me your more down to earth tips... such as - “carry a spare hairband in a nightclub to help those throwing up to keep hair back, or the best way to get out stains when baby just crapped on your new carpet!

Permanent marker to cover any scuffs on black shoes.
If desperate, use a fork to comb your hair.

I thought the gobble thing was a restricting thing, like the chippendales apparently do?

How do people with DC not wipe walls?

Easy - by not giving a shit.

Loving the Gobble Bobble (or Munchie Scrunchie for that 80s vibe) but add me to the list who assumed it was for applying to the gobblee not the gobbler.

The most obvious give-away that this is an anti-MN thread tho, is people offering tips on how to manage unexpected visitors. MN never answers the door to unexpected visitors (or indeed at all in some cases).

Place marking

Tipp-ex for scuffs on white shoes (our admin office still has some!).
When Jehova’s Witnesses call, say you are Catholic.

Enrage all other MN users by posting 'placemarking' in the middle of a thread instead of using the handy 'watch' or 'bookmark' options which MN have so kindly installed.

No! borntobequiet don't do that! I actually am catholic which I did tell them promptly and that I was very happy in my faith. They came twice a week for months.

Don't bother recycling. Mostly it goes into landfill anyway.

In this hot weather, attach the fan to a timer switch so it switches itself off around 0430 when it is starting to get chilly, rather than having to wake up and get out of bed to do it myself. Sodding fan has a built in timer: 2 hours. What use is that!

Never mind the walls, people clean behind radiators?!

At work use the most inconvenient furthest away toilets. They will be cleaner and less busy. Also they are a good place to hide from annoying colleagues who never shut up.

Oh yes, people clean walls and behind radiators. If you look at the other (serious ) time saving/life hacks, you'll be amazed at what folks bother doing.

@Betsy86 that really made me laugh

If your older children are playing up in public/being a pin in the arse etc then do what I do with my ds (15) and call him the worst name you can imagine not the c word,I am unable to say it and watch them improve.

A couple of my faves for my ds who is called Oliver are Herbert, Tarquin, Percy and Bruce.

Always wait until teen girls are approaching.

Don't ever cook. Get take aways or ready meals and eat out. Your kitchen will never be a mess. Mine is virtually pristine.

And a serious one which works- you know those bobbles that don't leave a dent in your hair? Look like a coil? Not to be confused with filthy gobble bobbles above-

If they get slack and mishapen simply place in a cup of boiling water for 5 minutes and they magically shrink back to their former glory. This is tried and tested

Begone Zoflora to the sensible life hacks section.

@Nearlymothertofour - your mum is a genius!

To avoid the huge faff of carrying a spare gobble bobble on your wrist, get your hair cut short. Makes life so much easier.

Make your children sleep in their school uniform to save time in the morning. (I actually caught DS doing this one very cold winter!!)

One from DS, if your mother tells you to have a shower and you can't be arsed, run the shower while you sit on the loo , wait a suitable amount of time, dampen your hair with a wet hand and job done. When busted, learn to also dampen towel.

My friend used to go to a toddler group with lots of judgey middle class types who were very scornful of anyone who ever gave their child bought baby food from a jar. Before she went she used to tip baby food from jar into a tupperware and pretend she'd been busy pureeing organic gooseberries or whatever so she didn't have to deal with the disapproval.

Leave vacuum in hall so even if house a tip, it looks like you are about to do something (in case of the dreaded unexpected visitor)

OMG I actually do this if I know fastidious BIL is popping round

Also dinner party hack. Buy three or four tesco finest moussakas and put them in a large roasting dish disguising the cracks between them by adding grated cheese and then lots of slices of tomato. Serve with pre-prepared salad, bought houmous and warm pitta. Shop bought cheesecake with coulis and berries etc added to the top to look homemade. Job done.

@OohOohMrPeevly I do that! I’ve got very judgy friends