To ask for your “not so Mumsnet” life hacks

[anothernameagain000]

While I’m a sucker for great tips to save time on ironing, cut down my cooking times and being a domestic whizz, as it’s friday evening and I’m bored - tell me your more down to earth tips... such as - “carry a spare hairband in a nightclub to help those throwing up to keep hair back, or the best way to get out stains when baby just crapped on your new carpet!

the gobble bobble Every day is a school day on MN. Love it.

and I too assumed it was to wrap around; was coming on to ask how many times do you wrap it? :)

When unexpected bastard visitor arrives grab all the clutter and make a pile, pull out even more clothes/dishes/stuff and tell them you are having a big sort out day. Hopefully you can get them to leave quickly.

When your kids are acting up in public, threaten to start dancing. Mine almost weep with embarrassment at the thought, and it's effective in stopping the bickering/stroppiness.

Excellent with a teen and a tweenager all I have to do is breathe to be an embarrassment or annoying lately, so if I threaten to bust out some mum dance moves in public that might just work

Only shave the on-show bits of your leg (i.e. mid-shin when wearing 3/4 trousers)

Does anybody not do that? I don’t remember the last time I shaved above my knees.

Another one thinking it was a home made cock ring and wondering if I had one of an appropriate size 😂

Keep your soar car wheel on your passenger seat. If you are late, blame it in having to change a wheel.

If you ever have a flat tyre for real, take a picture of it so you can use it as an excuse in future

Mcdonalds once a week at least

Happy days . I thought it was just me who did the dance-threatening

Gobble bobble

I don't have any small enough slithy I checked.

Is wiping walls a thing?

No, no one wipes walls

‘I’m so sorry about the mess, imhabing a big sort out and had just emptied the cupboards’ - only works the first 10 times though

*I’m having

Love this one! 😀

I'm sorry to report I wipe walls. Never ever did I think I would turn into a wiper of walls.

How do people with DC not wipe walls?

A tip I've always loved that my mum told me is always answer the door with your coat on (in this weather not so great) but if it's someone you want to see you've just got in if it's someone you don't then you're just leaving

Tell cold callers, doorsteppers, you’re the cleaner or babysitter and they go away.

What a gem of a find this thread is i cant stop laughing!!

Ahhh im known to wipe down walls forever finding handprints, drink splashes....
gobble bobble spittle (joke ) on my walls so can be found wiping down walls.. x

Save hours of time watching the news each week by turning off the TV and simply remembering who is ‘in charge’ — you can then safely assume we are all utterly screwed

You can avoid needing to wipe down walls by never wearing your glasses inside the house. (Saves time on all sorts of other household tasks too).

Save money at xmas by telling everyone to piss off in november. Apologise in time for new year...

Buy a bottle of windex for your office. If you fart, squirt the windex.
Also, in your first week at work, when you know your boss is around, windex the desk. She'll be impressed.

My parents spoilt mine and my sisters children on birthdays and at Christmas spending ridiculous amounts so this year we decided that they would buy any of us birthday or Christmas presents and instead would pay for a family holiday for us all. It was a brilliant idea, my kids don't get spoilt and I get a free holiday and time with my lovely family which is far more valuable than anything they could buy

If you're pestered by a charity on the street, give them a head tilt and say 'I already donate'

This also works with commercial stuff/sales :'Oh, my husband takes care of all the financial /renovation/purchasing stuff'. Smile and give a resignatory nod.