To ask for your “not so Mumsnet” life hacks

[anothernameagain000]

While I’m a sucker for great tips to save time on ironing, cut down my cooking times and being a domestic whizz, as it’s friday evening and I’m bored - tell me your more down to earth tips... such as - “carry a spare hairband in a nightclub to help those throwing up to keep hair back, or the best way to get out stains when baby just crapped on your new carpet!

Excitedforxmas we all know what your up to 😉😉😂

I’m feeling a Facebook tat niche here - the blingiest bobble for your gobble

Brazzle What Walls are you wiping down??

I have one of those mops with the wide flat heads and I have started using it to clean my windows and my mirrored wardrobes, it works great. studiously ignoring posts about gobble bobbles because I thought it meant a makeshift cock ring

Gobble bobble 🤣

I’m dying of laughter on the inside, but daren’t let any laughter come out in case I get dh’s hopes up - I wants me some sleep!

Ooh you - so true!

This is an interesting thread...!

If you want the kids to do something, turn the WiFi off.

My stomach hurts from laughing

if you have long hair you can use it to disguise the fact that you are not in fact sucking him off, but using a well lubricated hand and your lips. If you get the knack, they really cant tell the difference

It took me until the age of 50 and a sex thread on mumsnet to learn that one.

Brazzle What Walls are you wiping down??

Yes, exactly - and how can your DH tell that you've been wiping walls down?

@Ubicorn I defo approve of movie nights like that, especially as ds (11) is very adept at getting his own microwave pizza and serves it with tinned sweet corn 'to make it healthy'!

Better a jazzy bobble than a jizzy one.

DO NOT teach your kids your home address or phone number because they'll just come home when you've spent all morning trying to lose them in the park. And we wouldn't want to spoil a quiet afternoon, would we?

I thought a gobble bobble was for drunken pizza or kebab eating.

It’s kebab eating of a kind

Kebab eating Indeed..

I am crying laughing at this thread. Read the bobble / scrunchie chat to DH. He suggests a "scrunchie munchie"

This thread is so not what I expected it to be

Better a jazzy bobble than a jizzy one.

Well quite :o

So unlike the life of our own dear Queen....... :o :o

When your kids are acting up in public, threaten to start dancing. Mine almost weep with embarrassment at the thought, and it's effective in stopping the bickering/stroppiness

Gobble Bobble

I'm in full self-pity mode as working in the morning and too bloody hot to sleep

This thread has given me a laugh at least 😂

Having a good laugh at this thread 😂 Although holding back the chuckles incase DH asks....

I love it when these little golden nuggets appear unexpectedly

A thread with funny people and no mumsnet drama just a good laugh 😂

Yes,I’m sniggering

Cut down on your weekly shop by blocking the barcode and pretending to scan items at the self service till

Gobble bobble! I thought it was for added in-gobble texture.. 🙈 so good.

Only shave the on-show bits of your leg (i.e. mid-shin when wearing 3/4 trousers)

Never ever empty the 'kids-stuff' (toddlers) bag so you'll never have to repack the spare clothes/sunscreen. just ignore the squashed bananas and crumbs

Agree with the gym wear school/ nursery drop off tip. Only for those of us who work from home i fear!

So unlike the life of our own dear Queen....... grin grin

I wouldn't be so sure.. I saw an advert on tv the other day for sex toys which had A Royal Warrant of Appointment. I don't know if it is true, the images stopped me sleeping for a while though. I don't think she has one of those gobble bobble's though.