To ask for your “not so Mumsnet” life hacks

[anothernameagain000]

While I’m a sucker for great tips to save time on ironing, cut down my cooking times and being a domestic whizz, as it’s friday evening and I’m bored - tell me your more down to earth tips... such as - “carry a spare hairband in a nightclub to help those throwing up to keep hair back, or the best way to get out stains when baby just crapped on your new carpet!

Thanks, that's so getting used this holiday some time. Mine are 7 & 9, they can always be charmed with cold hard cash.

CBeebies will entertain your toddler when you need to get something done. Disney DVDs will entertain your infant school child when you need to get something done. A games console will entertain your junior school child when you need to get something done. Do not tell anyone you do this. Ever.

Ooh here’s my one - if wearing sandals that only show say two toes - only bother to paint those ones

Atlhough.......in my (extensive when I was younger) experience, if you have long hair you can use it to disguise the fact that you are not in fact sucking him off, but using a well lubricated hand and your lips. If you get the knack, they really cant tell the difference. You're welcome :)

That's why you're here then Doingreat

Gobble bobble! These next penis beaker??

A clear instruction of, "hold my hair, yeh?" does well in this house. No shoving about involved, just a free hair band

Mamamiaherewego etc etc. I've actually tried the tip about making cheese on toast in the toaster if you turn it on its sides and what actually happened was my toaster caught fire and had to be thrown out of the window before the house burnt down.

Cut pizza with scissors.

Actually cut all meat with scissors too.

Much easier.

If you're off to work and hear the baby waking up (DH does the morning Nursery drop off), and can't be arsed with the stress of getting embroiled in the morning shite, just grab your hairdryer, drive to work with wet hair and avail yourself of the gym "facilities" and dry it when you get there. (I actually did this this week!!)

Or drive to work with the car heating on full blast and if you’ve a reasonable commute you turn up with dry volumey hair and no need for blusher. (Best to blast the back with a hair dryer though as that gets neglected by the vents).

At the gym use two hairdryers for rough drying, one in each hand.

You can cook potato waffles in a toaster.

Say what?

Gobble bobble

Well am weak laughing 😂😂

When writing out tips or hacks, cut out connective words.
Saves seconds.

@janejeffer I didn't realise what aladdin's cave of horrors I was in for when I innocently clicked on this thread.

Pretending to be sick so you don't have to clean the house for visitors... Cheats for blowjobs.... I feel violated. I'll never be the same again, will I?

I needed this thread today

Yes, sorry to be a killjoy but the amount of times our hospital has been fined by the fire service coming out for staff cooking in toasters: cheese on toast and pizza are the main culprits. Just don’t.

So ... this gobble bobble... is a standard bobble adequate - would scrunching be too passé?

Should one consider an Alice band?

I posted before rtft.
It seems my surprise was ahem premature.

Always say 'sorry about the mess' to visitors when your house is nice and clean

Well after 25 years of marriage I've learnt stuff on here!
Omg I always have bobbles on my wrist- has the world been secretly laughing at me?

@tiredpony - tbf - the waffles in the toaster thing is a nice surprise

anothernameagain000 that's the beauty of this life hack, any old bobble will do, although if we're having a special night out I try to choose a jazzy one.

An Alice band, depends how big your wrists are I guess 🤔

I'll never get over the gobble, one bobble in my hair the rest on the table.

My top tip ever, is use one of those microfiber window cleaners to wipe down your walls. Fucking genius I am, dh is still wondering how I do it do quick