My parents are fans of the approach of “if we are home the front door is unlocked and you can/should just drop by without notice or even necessarily knocking.” My DH is really really not a fan of this approach especially as he works from home and we currently have a baby. Despite having been brought up by my parents, I always tell them when I am coming by and always ring the door bell before trying it. Anywhere else I would notify and ring and wait.
(There’s also a host of other boundary issues with my parents which I have discussed here before and I am currently seeing a therapist to work on protecting myself, my marriage and DD from their lack of boundaries and my tendencies to be terrified of crossing them. )
Anyway the door thing all came to a head yesterday when they turned up unannounced, rang the door bell and came straight in bellowing greetings. My teething DD had literally been asleep ten minutes and burst into tears and they were furious when I greeted them by telling them to shut up. I tried shhh but they couldn’t hear me over the noise they were making. DH says from now on door is locked when I am home to prevent this. They will be furious.
Anyway I want to know what other people’s expectations are. Is the door always unlocked and open to surprise visits by family or is it all an arranged in advance thing. is DH being U or are my parents?