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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Demonisation of formula!!!

996 replies

Summertimehaze · 31/07/2018 09:52

Don’t know if anyone watched the Dispatches programme last night on breastfeeding? The more I think about that programme the more annoyed I’m getting!!! The demonisation of formula really doesn’t help mothers who struggle to breastfeed and have to start using formula or even as a top up!! Most mothers want to do what’s right for their babies and know that breast is best. But some mums just can’t do it and so formula literally becomes a lifesaver. I’m sick of seeing mums feel so guilty about it and letting their children bloody starve because they surely can’t give them the evil formula!!!!!! The programme basically tells a new mum that it’s really tough to breastfeed, there is no support, they will be judged BUT formula is not an option!!! Grrrrrrrrr 😡. AIBU

OP posts:
Lethaldrizzle · 31/07/2018 14:28

Maybe it's a location thing. It's kinda opposite where I am.

Summertimehaze · 31/07/2018 14:30

True. It could be location!!

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Ifeelshit · 31/07/2018 14:31

summertimehaze I think most mothers feel judged. I was judged for breastfeeding DS1, got loads of comments that I "still" breastfeeding, being selfish about feeding, was going to cause mummy issues when he was older, making him clingy. I was ostracised by ffing mothers who though simply by breastfeeding I was judging (I never ever commented on how anyone fed their baby) their choice, when in reality I hated breastfeeding and was desperate for DS to take a bottle but he wouldn't. I was also judged by breastfeeding mothers when I refused to espouse how amazing and wonderful it was and how much better my bond was. And OH MY GOD when I dared to say I didn't enjoy it and thought it was a significant factor in my PND I may as well have said Jimmy Saville was a nice man.

Summertimehaze · 31/07/2018 14:32

I think the bottom line for me personally is that I feel like I’ve completely failed my LO. But as some posters said, it isn’t just about me. Which I do get.

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Summertimehaze · 31/07/2018 14:34

That’s really interesting Ifeelshit. I guess there is a lot of judging at all angles. Sorry you feel shit btw

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Summertimehaze · 31/07/2018 14:35

It’s the “bond” thing that gets me also. So so raw for me. I’m praying it won’t effect my bond with my LO. If only she knew that I expressed for her and have a freezer stash so she can have 1 BM a day (the test formula).

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Aspergallus · 31/07/2018 14:38

To all those saying that BF is significantly better than FF, as though this suggests a large difference, you are really misunderstanding the stats.

In research significantly only means that a difference was found with an approx 19 in 20 chance that the difference is real. The word has no value or magnitude. The difference can be real but tiny, short lived, of uncertain meaning or value etc etc...Not quite the same as what is intended when we say significantly as lay people or outside of research.

And this is the problem with the breast is best campaign; that it is based on statistically significant data of really small and uncertain magnitude...hence the millions of healthy people who were FF.

As I said, I have BF 2 and will breast feed a third shortly. This is because:

When it works well, it’s very convenient. Walking around with a food/drink supply on tap means one less thing to carry. When it works well, that marginal difference is easily achieved. When it works well, it is a naturally ideal food source.

However, I still say fed is best and see evidence all the time of how the breast is best message has turned women off from the outset, and been used to cause so much guilt that some women watch their children fail to thrive or starve, treating formula like poison.

As a HCP, I do despair at the lack of information and informed consent around Women’s Health issues, including breast feeding.

GreenMeerkat · 31/07/2018 14:38

@Ifeelshit 100% agree.

I'm fully aware breast is beast, I tried it, didn't like it so now choose to formula feed.

DiabolicalMess · 31/07/2018 14:39

I think there is an overwhelming pressure on babies to thrive and gain weight straight away. I felt like I wasn't doing good enough when my bf ds1 wasn't gaining weight quick enough - there was talk of him going back in to hospital and all sorts (tongue tie wasn't corrected until he was nearly 6 weeks) and in that interim period I panicked he wasn't thriving because of the pressure from midwifes and health visitors) and gave him formula and bam - he put on weight quickly. I can't be the only mother who has felt that pressure from health care professionals. Who doesn't want to see their baby thriving?!!

RidingMyBike · 31/07/2018 14:40

I saw the programme and thought bits were disappointing. I thought it was good they mentioned the cruelty of pushing breast is best but then not supporting mothers to feed.

But my experience was that I didn't get an informed choice - inaccurate information about BFing meant I did it (despite it not being the bonding experience promised, or 'free' or easy or natural) and I regret making that choice now - having bf DD for 2 yrs and 7 months. Knowing what I know now I don't think the few actual benefits of BFing are worth the hassle and psychological damage of doing it. Are the 80+% of mums who start BFing then discovering that it's not what it's cracked up to be, and that's why they're stopping? Maybe if more accurate information was available in advance more women could make a genuine choice.

All the stuff about the difficulties of BFing in public was a ridiculous publicity stunt. I've bf for over two years and never had a negative comment. I have been criticised for using formula though.

There's also never any discussion about what it means that some mothers 'can't bf'. A very few produce no milk at all or are on drugs that mean they can't. A lot more have supply problems and/or milk delay and/or other problems (we were in these categories and were readmitted to hospital ). Some of those mums put themselves through absolute hell to keep going with bf - is that the right thing to do, bearing in mind that in a developed country there is no difference between a ff and bf baby? Then you come across those mums in BFing groups saying they put themselves through it 'because they love their baby' because, of course, ffing mums don't like their babies Confused

LittleBirdBlues · 31/07/2018 14:41

I agree with one point the programme made which is that there needs to be more support for breastfeeding mothers everywhere in the UK.

Beyond that it was fairly dull, badly made and reeked of entitled yummy-mumminess. No thank you.

Pappybear · 31/07/2018 14:42

Great post @Aspergallus

Lethaldrizzle · 31/07/2018 14:43

Bf is not just good for babies though it's also great for getting pre baby body back

LittleBirdBlues · 31/07/2018 14:43

Also, to echo what PPs have said, having breastfed my kids for a total of 2.5 years in various boroughs of London, including some where formula is very much the norm, I have never ever had a negative reaction to feeding in public. And I didn't cover up or anything, just fed as discreetly as I found comfortable.

DiabolicalMess · 31/07/2018 14:44

Second time around I was given some piss poor advice from my midwife saying to limit breast feeding to 10 mins to ensure ds2 was feeding efficiently. It didn't even occur to me that i shouldn't follow this advice and so my milk production was never properly established. He was already having formula top ups due to low blood sugars and poor suckle reflex. In hospital after my c-section it would often take an hour for a midwife to bring me a syringe of my expressed colostrum from the fridge to feed him, so even if it was a "poor second best" thank fuck I did have formula to give him, because from my experience, hungry babies don't like to wait an hour (or more) to feed. Especially when their blood sugar levels are dropping. This demonisation of ff needs to stop, I'm so sick of it!!

Ifeelshit · 31/07/2018 14:48

Lethaldrizzle if only that were true for everyone. I just sat on the sofa and fed for hours and hours. It made me so ravenous I put a stone on in about 6 weeks! Was definitely not good for me.

Summertimehaze · 31/07/2018 14:49

RidingMyBike this is real food for thought. May I ask, why you carried on for so long if you didn’t enjoy it?? Were you not tempted to stop at 6 months/year? Was it pressure from around you?

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Aspergallus · 31/07/2018 14:50

lethaldrizzle that’s a myth, the evidence is quite the opposite, probably due to inactivity and increased hunger while feeding. Though it may shrink the uterus quicker.

Iggi999 · 31/07/2018 14:50

There's no money to be made in breast milk, unlike formula
I disagree. There’s a lot of money to be made from breast pumps, pads, bras, etc

How much is formula? A quick google suggests about £10 for a tub - if that lasts a week, then for the first 6 months you'd pay about £240 to ff.
I bought a jazzy breastpump £100 and a couple of bf bras for £20 each. I'd no new expenses after 6 months when I assume another £240 would need to be spent on formula. You can fancy up bf as much or as little as you want (I remember getting a special pillow for £40) but you can't really reduce the costs of ff. There aren't that many companies making formula, so straight off you've got a big profit potential.

Aspergallus · 31/07/2018 14:51

Thank you Pappybear!

Ifeelshit · 31/07/2018 14:53

Summertimehaze I carried on for 2 years as DS wouldn't stop, he wouldn't take a bottle so until he was 1 he needed to breastfeed as wouldn't take milk any other way. When he turned 1 I tried to stop but after a week he would just cry so much he made himself sick.

Summertimehaze · 31/07/2018 14:54

That must have been very tough

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Iggi999 · 31/07/2018 14:55

Diabolicalmess your post is a perfect example of lack of support affecting bfing, rather than an encouragement to use formula! You were given bad advice (10 mins) and lack of support (the fridge journey). Why would the answer to that be, thank heavens for formula, rather than, let's adequately resource the NHS?

Sunnymeg · 31/07/2018 14:59

Formula was invented to help Mother's whose babies struggled to breastfeed. Years ago, many babies died because there was no viable alternative to breast milk. Some people who had twins had to make a conscious decision about which twin to feed and which one to lose as they could not manage to feed both. Formula feed has saved the life of countless children. People need to remember that and be grateful that we have an option not available to previous generations.

Ifeelshit · 31/07/2018 15:11

Sunnymeg whilst that is true of the original intent of formula, formula companies have since used propaganda and underhand tactics which have lead to the deaths of hundreds if not thousands of children. Just thankfully very few in this country.

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