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AIBU?

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Original poster

Demonisation of formula!!!

996 replies

Summertimehaze · 31/07/2018 09:52

Don’t know if anyone watched the Dispatches programme last night on breastfeeding? The more I think about that programme the more annoyed I’m getting!!! The demonisation of formula really doesn’t help mothers who struggle to breastfeed and have to start using formula or even as a top up!! Most mothers want to do what’s right for their babies and know that breast is best. But some mums just can’t do it and so formula literally becomes a lifesaver. I’m sick of seeing mums feel so guilty about it and letting their children bloody starve because they surely can’t give them the evil formula!!!!!! The programme basically tells a new mum that it’s really tough to breastfeed, there is no support, they will be judged BUT formula is not an option!!! Grrrrrrrrr 😡. AIBU

OP posts:
cheshiremama89 · 31/07/2018 13:53

Totally!!!! @Underworld345 Smile

Celebelly · 31/07/2018 13:53

There's a book about breastfeeding in my maternity pack which says that in the first few days, a baby's tummy can only hold something like 3ml at a time. So a bit of colostrum, which is so rich in nutrients, is actually very filling. By the time they are 10 days old, their tummy has grown by quite a lot, which tends to coincide with the increased milk supply kicking in.

PasstheStarmix · 31/07/2018 13:55

Very good point @LlamaPyjamas I felt the exact same.

Raspberry88 · 31/07/2018 13:55

I think it was clear that the programme was about lack of support for bf mothers rather than demonising FF. I did enjoy it because it felt like someone was taking notice of the struggles I've had...I've had not one jot of support with breastfeeding...in fact I've had criticism from a number of places, including HCP for continuing to feed past 6 months! I think the problem is criticising mothers in general and it does not mean that we shouldn't talk about the specific issues that bf mothers face. It's a pity that the programme couldn't go into more detail about other societal issues around bf, including the pressure for babies to sleep through the night and problems with lack of provision for expressing if women return to work. What was nice for me though was to see all the amazing things in breast milk, not because I want anyone to feel bad at all, but because it was the first time since DS was born that I saw anything mainstream that made me feel like all the past and continued struggling and hard work was worth it. The statistic about people believing that there is no difference between formula and breast milk was v interesting because that message is everywhere I think and it did make me feel...what's the point. I have a bit of renewed positivity now.

LlamaPyjamas · 31/07/2018 13:57

I think theres the problem that a lot of new mothers know nothing about breastfeeding
This is a huge problem exacerbated by the NHS cutting budgets for bf info classes for pregnant women. And also because our mothers were encouraged to ff so can’t advise. I was convinced I had insufficient milk because I couldn’t pump out a bottle full within 24 hours of giving birth.

NinkyNonkyNinkyNonk · 31/07/2018 13:58

I formula fed out of choice, and am one of those "terrible" people who didn't even attempt breastfeeding. I had no pressure from the midwives to breastfeed, in fact I was surprised by the lack of resistance to my formula feeding. I did it for personal reasons and would make the same decision again (in fact I did, twice more).

I think there should be more support for breastfeeding, and it should be promoted. If you've tried and it didn't work, there's nothing to feel defensive about. If you didn't try and didn't want to, there's nothing to feel defensive about. Breast milk does have a whole host of benefits that formula doesn't, it should be ok to say that. And formula companies should always be held to account if they are making claims which are not true. So many people rely on them to help feed babies, that companies should always know they are under the spotlight!

Srilli · 31/07/2018 13:59

Also totally agree that to say formula is just as good is a complete lie! We mustn’t alter the truth to make people feel less guilty if they can’t or won’t breastfeed.

IKnowItsTIMHONKSTIMHONKS · 31/07/2018 14:00

I didn't breastfeed my twins because I didn't want to. One of them was born at 4lbs7oz and now at a year old is on the 75th percentile. I don't see how formula is a bad choice.

Lethaldrizzle · 31/07/2018 14:00

Also isn't there a link between childhood obesity and formula fed babies?

P3onyPenny · 31/07/2018 14:02

Um it was actually bfing that got her into ScBU Cheshire.Hmm

BareBelliedSneetch · 31/07/2018 14:03

Lethaldrizzle we don’t know. We do know there’s been a rise in one as there’s been a decrease in the other. Doesn’t mean they are related though.

Ifeelshit · 31/07/2018 14:03

LlamaPyjamas I don't know, I didn't do any classes on bfing. Everything I learnt I learnt off the internet. To be honest it was the same with pretty much all my pregnancy and labour info. The NHS gave me squat so I did my own research.

What nobody prepared me for was the fact despite knowing a lot and being able to breastfeed I would absolutely detest it!

Celebelly · 31/07/2018 14:03

One thing I haven't seen mentioned much as a factor is support from a partner.

I'm planning to EBF when our baby arrives and my partner and I have already had the discussion about how much time it will take, particularly in the first weeks. My partner will be around for the first month and will be doing all the housework and cooking. I can well imagine that if you have poor support at home, a partner who doesn't help, then the time commitments of cluster feeding can become a really relevant thing as to why you might not feel you can continue. And as we see on here time and time again, plenty of women are in relationships with unsupportive and unhelpful partners.

BareBelliedSneetch · 31/07/2018 14:03

Formula isn’t a bad choice. But breastfeeding may be a better choice.

P3onyPenny · 31/07/2018 14:05

And surely for those that find bfing easy it isn't an achievement.

I did it for 6 weeks of hell and then ff,that my friend is an achievement.

Isn't the link over feeding and obesity.

thereareflowersinmygarden · 31/07/2018 14:09

I don't know much about the ingredients of formula, but it take me a while to track down one that contained neither palm oil nor soya.

Bought as a back up and only used once.

Formula companies do need to be held to account.

Teaformeplease · 31/07/2018 14:10

Breastfeeding is not "best for baby". It is the biologically normal way to feed a baby. Tailor-made for your own baby with the correct complex nutrients and provides immunological support, growth factors, etc, etc. Formula will never match this.

80% of new mothers start breastfeeding but many do not have the right support in order to succeed. There's no money to be made in breast milk, unlike formula.

LlamaPyjamas · 31/07/2018 14:11

The NHS gave me squat so I did my own research.
@Ifeelshit great that you were able to do that. But not everyone is good at reading widely and researching. It’s vital for the NHS to provide easily accessible info, especially for women who are disadvantaged or poorly educated so unlikely to be able to do their own research. I’m reasonably educated but there was still stuff I didn’t understand about bfing.

Underworld345 · 31/07/2018 14:12

I didn't breastfeed my twins because I didn't want to. One of them was born at 4lbs7oz and now at a year old is on the 75th percentile. I don't see how formula is a bad choice.

If you fed your baby chocolate milk, he/she would also be on at least the 75th centile.

I dont get this argument. Theres way more to the benefits of breastmilk than just weight gain.

LlamaPyjamas · 31/07/2018 14:13

There's no money to be made in breast milk, unlike formula.
I disagree. There’s a lot of money to be made from breast pumps, pads, bras, etc.

Hallendbak · 31/07/2018 14:15

She just had a baby and returned to work. she had a clear agenda and was probably out of touch with the real world. Lazy journalism and total misrepresentation of reality. Can you imagine what a baby bore she is? Went on maternity a credible reporter and editor and came back with this. Grin

SnuggyBuggy · 31/07/2018 14:16

I agree a cluster feeding mother, even if the breastfeeding itself is going well is going to need a lot of practical help when she is stuck on the sofa. Ive found it really disempowering having to ask people to do things for me. I wanted to try for another baby in time but the thought of trying to combine running after a toddler with spending hours on the sofa breastfeeding puts me right off.

Original poster
Summertimehaze · 31/07/2018 14:20

Wow. Such a response here! I would love to actually be able to talk about this in person with everyone as I think we probably agree more than we disagree. I do have a few reflections.

I feel it is a myth that mothers reach for the formula readily. I know some people do and that truly is their choice. But I think the majority of mums want to BF and try so hard for it not to then happen (for whatever reasons). The programme made me feel like it was saying: breast is best ... yep I know! You should really try to feed your baby via the breast ... yep I tried that! Formula is full of shit ... oh, ok. Thanks. 🤦‍♀️.

Also ... I truly think the demonisation of the formula is clearly not working. So maybe it should be dropped completely!!! Other posters have suggested it’s about social factors also ... like our obsession with babies sleeping etc which I think is so true.

On another note, I thought the programme itself was awful. It didn’t go anywhere?!?! There were no wider discussions... I agree with a poster from earlier saying it felt like a new mum on a rant but not actually getting anywhere! So disappointing!

OP posts:
merrygoround51 · 31/07/2018 14:22

Regarding how you choose to feed and the circumstances around this choice, why allow anyone to make you feel guilty ?

We know breast is best for baby, there is no disputing that. But sometimes its not best for Mum. In addition, over a childs lifetime a long term commitment to providing well balanced nutritious meals is far more important than just a 3-6 month commitment.

What the UK needs to become far more concerned about is the obesity epidemic and parents failure to provide decent food for their children.

Breastfeeding is just one small element of this.

I breastfed one of mine for 6 months but the other just 2 weeks. The 6 months one has skin and stomach issues, funnily enough the 2 week one is strong as an ox

Original poster
Summertimehaze · 31/07/2018 14:25

Forgot to add... people saying that formula mothers are not demonised must be on another planet!!!! I’ve literally had mums turn their back on me when when I pulled a bottle out in a baby group!!! I had to say loudly “come on LO drink your EXPRESSED milk that mummy’s made for you” and the circle opened again!! I kid you not. I’ve also had “oh, you’re not feeding the LO then?” .... erm, yes I am.

There’s such an emphasis in my social circle of babies getting exclusively BM ... the word “exclusively” is used so much!!! As in to say “not a drop of that pesky formula has passed my LO’s lips” 🙄. So much pressure 😢

OP posts:
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