Demonisation of formula!!!

[Summertimehaze]

Don’t know if anyone watched the Dispatches programme last night on breastfeeding? The more I think about that programme the more annoyed I’m getting!!! The demonisation of formula really doesn’t help mothers who struggle to breastfeed and have to start using formula or even as a top up!! Most mothers want to do what’s right for their babies and know that breast is best. But some mums just can’t do it and so formula literally becomes a lifesaver. I’m sick of seeing mums feel so guilty about it and letting their children bloody starve because they surely can’t give them the evil formula!!!!!! The programme basically tells a new mum that it’s really tough to breastfeed, there is no support, they will be judged BUT formula is not an option!!! Grrrrrrrrr 😡. AIBU

But statistically it is rare- 1-2% of women is very low!

There are many women who have told me that they were not producing milk and so had no choice but to formula feed. I suspect for the majority of these women, they were not given the right information/support. In fact they were producing enough, but lack of training/support/education meant that health professionals either weren't around to tell them any different or were not trained sufficiently.

When I was breastfeeding my baby had watery green pooh for a while, an older lady friend asked if I was going to top up with formula. I replied- no!

The programme in question was about the lack of support which in turn leads to low breastfeeding rates, it did not demonise formula. For those women who can't (the pretty rare 1-2/%) there still needs to be support.

And in their haste to push breastfeeding, unfortunately no midwives tell you about cluster feeding, the difficulty of getting baby to latch etc. You only learn about this straight after the birth which for FTMs is quite an anxious time.

If it hadn't been for the midwife visit and the peer support visit on the day after I returned home from hospital, I could have interpreted the cluster feeding as baby not feeding. Although by about 10am in the morning I had looked it up and managed to identify cluster feeding as a possible issue. Before that I was having a mini panic and worrying that my baby was not feeding!

Why no one had told me this before I returned home from hospital- I have no idea!

This is what the programme sought to address- the need for more support, more education and a change in culture

1 to 2% is not rare. I'm 98th percentile for height according to the charts and I've met loads of women taller than me. I really don't think you understand statistics at all. Yes it is a minority, agreed but rare no it isn't.

I suspect for the majority of these women, they were not given the right information/support. In fact they were producing enough, but lack of training/support/education meant that health professionals either weren't around to tell them any different or were not trained sufficiently.

You may well be wrong y'know. You weren't there they were. Have some respect for your fellow women.

You may well be wrong y'know. You weren't there they were. Have some respect for your fellow women.
I'm talking about a generation that were encouraged to formula feed and an extremely large proportion of this generation have said this to me.

Yes it is a minority, agreed but rare no it isn't.

I said pretty rare!

Yeah probably about 2% I imagine. You really are coming across as seriously judgy. It's fine to tell women they are lying that they can't breastfeed and then that they should 'control their emotions' when they are upset. Charming.

I said pretty rare

Where did I accuse women of lying?

I have spoken to quite a few women who said they couldn't breastfeed because their baby was too hungry and they didn't have enough milk. They often mention how the baby would feed for hours and still want more. We are talking in the first couple of weeks, so that is quite normal cluster feeding behaviour. I wonder whether in most of their cases they could have successfully breastfed. Maybe I just know a very high proportion of that 1 or 2% of women. Maybe they are lying because they didn't really want to breastfeed anyway. I doubt it though. More likely, they were not given much information or support. Cluster feeding was a huge shock to me and if I hadn't known people who had recently fed who could reassure me then I think my response could have been similar. I think that is what rubyroot means?

Ah right you are just accusing them of being stupid then so that's okay .....

The semantics of rare or minority is a red herring - if 1-2% physiologically can’t breastfeed, what happened to the other huge percentage that wanted to breastfeed at the start but weren’t by 6 months? One statistic was 1% still exclusively breastfeeding.

We need to find more and better ways to support women to help them do what they want to do it possible. This doesn’t take away from the minority that physiologically can’t.

Tea, was that to me? If so, I am not sure how you read that in to my post at all.

Well the assumption that the reason it failed was because they didn't know about cluster feeding. When in fact they may well have sat on the settee for hours before their baby was admitted to scbu for weight loss. I don't think people who successfully breastfed have any idea how awful it can be when you don't have enough milk. It is really difficult for women to read that is because they are doing it wrong you feel enough of a failure as it is. Have some empathy. You probably mean well but you have no idea, honestly.

I didn't BF for medical reasons. I didn't care.

I'm just grateful my children are warm, clean, loved, came out apparently in good working order with access to modern healthcare, a lovely place to live and every book on the planet.

Yes, it would have been nice to BF but they are fine. Life is not perfect at any stage.

Anecdotally, I think I was a healthier mum to babies because they slept loads longer between feeds and I was able to know exactly how much they were getting (and get them sleeping through the night as a result). There was a clear difference between my friends who were BF (shattered, in pain, lovely petite shiny babies but exhausted mummies) and those who were bottle feeding. I admired them, respected them, supported them and here we all are, several years later, and the children are not divided by weight, IQ, respiratory problems, emotional health or anything else.

I'm not saying it's not great to BF if you can but come on. There are much more important things to worry about.

Just wanted to say thanks to RidingMyBike, CardinalCat and JellyBaby666 for your kind words

If breastfeeding becomes too difficult then a sensible woman needs to be able to say enough is enough and go with formula. Guilt is our own emotion, which needs to be managed by the individual themselves, granted midwives and HVs are not always much help- but we need to try and manage our own emotions. I realise it can be a vulnerable time for women, I do!

I wish it were that simple.... I am generally considered to be sensible. Somehow I wasn't able to objectively assess my breastfeeding situation and make a positive decision to change it. I really wish I had been able to.

I am emphatically not talking about women who genuinely cannot feed. I do know one such woman and her experience was horrendous.

The statistics show that only a small number of women experience supply issues that cannot be resolved, but in my experience lots of women I knew assumed this applied to them and so made the switch quickly without getting any further help. I am sorry you had such an awful experience, but it doesn't mean that everyone had that experience or had access to the same information as you. I have spoken to women who have genuinely never heard of cluster feeding. They aren't stupid at all, and it is not stupid not to know the intricacies of breastfeeding: as I said, I didn't but was lucky to access support. Many women just don't have access to proper information and support, and this is a huge factor in failing to breast feed when they want to. It's awful.

I'm not sure how you split them though in reality. I don't tell everyone what happened to me. If anyone ever asks me if I bf I lightly say 'I'm not the person to ask about that, I was spectacularly shit at it'.

And when I say a large proportion- i meant of the women I know. In fact every woman aged 55 or over have said te same thing, one woman said she b fed second and perhaps it was lack of confidence re supply why she wasn't able to b feed her first

Oh right you are just accusing them of being stupid then so that's okay
Sorry- again please identify where in my post I said this!

I am talking about a generation of women who were misinformed and let down by a whole host of professionals.

That is why support is essential- both for the 1-2% that can't b feed and those that want to, but struggle.

Quite right, and that is why I ensured I did not say all, because there are also lots of women out there who have a genuine supply issue and that's a whole different problem. Only by ensuring everyone gets proper access to information and support could we divide the groups, to the benefit of both in most cases I imagine.

newroundhere- i am sorry you weren't able to change to formula. I wish the health professionals were able to help you deal with guilt etc, by saying its okay to use formula etc.

I didn't really mean to get at you, what I think I meant to say is that although it can be an emotive issue for some, we should not let that get in the way of the debate- breast is best (if you can do it)

I just think that sometimes these emotions prevent people from being rational, hence the tread title- the demonisation of formula

Ok I haven't RTFT or seen the documentary (although I'm planning to watch it tomorrow). I bf my DD for 13 months and am bf DS 9 months. No plans to stop anytime soon.

Absolutely do not agree with 'feed shaming' anyone. Being a mum is hard enough without added guilt!

However. I do call into question the stat about feeling ashamed to feed in public being the main reason women stop bf (I'm paraphrasing here). Like the PPs I have read, my experience of feeding in public had been nothing but positive. People have been respectful, polite or indifferent. Usually I get smiles and nods. Even a free cuppa!

What I think is one of the big issues is lack of info about how hard it really will be. I attended a bf workshop before I had DD. Two hours about expressing, latching on, etc but nothing about the excruciating initial pain that many experience, or the fact that baby might not accept a bottle (both of mind didn't) which means feeding is all on you and you can kiss goodbye to your evening social life for the first year.

I'm not sure how well this can be communicated and of course they don't want to scare more people off! But I do think the reality of bf and cluster feeding takes many by surprise. I think there should be more advice and support on settling in with your baby and how you may well spend long hours feeding and to be prepared with Netflix, snacks and support for that. And that that's totally ok. I don't think cluster feeding is understood which is why so many stop because they're scared baby isn't getting enough. The whole hungry baby milk thing pisses me off so much, the human body is designed to supply exactly what is needed! It's amazing!

Educate partners too. I have friends who have stopped bf earlier than they'd like because of pressure from their SO and families.

Ultimately, bf does usually require a sacrifice to be made, at least initially. I've not been away from my DS for longer than two hours, have had to cancel planned nights out and haven't slept for longer than 3 hours in too long a time. I wouldn't change that, but it isn't for everyone. Let's not kid ourselves, whilst there are lots of women out there who can't bf for very strong reasons, there are also others who just...don't want to. Educating and informing them won't change that. As someone on my Facebook commented 'it's just weird and unnatural!' Erm

rubyroot - no problem, I know you weren't aiming at me specifically

It is an emotive issue but I do believe that breastfeeding is best if it works well. I think it's particularly hard because it can be a hugely difficult thing to do and it comes at a time when you are already tired, emotional and recovering from birth.

I think one of the challenges around the debate is that people tend to share their own experiences as the norm e.g. "breastfeeding is really hard to begin with but after a few weeks it's really easy" or "formula feeding makes babies sleep through the night". That's why I've found RideMyBike to be a really great contributor to the discussion as she's been able to share her experience in a really neutral way.

The truth is every baby, mother and family is different and will have a different experience. Half the problem in my opinion is that we are somehow made to feel like our experience isn't valid, other people are doing it better and that we are failing, whatever feeding choice or outcome we end up with.

Not saying that everyone experiences this but I do think it's reasonably common.

Also, I should add that I fed DS formula I'm hospital. He was premature and wouldn't latch on, I ff him on the advice of the doctors who were worried about his low birth weight. He latched on once we were home, but I'm very grateful to formula for making the difference in that first difficult week.