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AIBU?

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Original poster

Demonisation of formula!!!

996 replies

Summertimehaze · 31/07/2018 09:52

Don’t know if anyone watched the Dispatches programme last night on breastfeeding? The more I think about that programme the more annoyed I’m getting!!! The demonisation of formula really doesn’t help mothers who struggle to breastfeed and have to start using formula or even as a top up!! Most mothers want to do what’s right for their babies and know that breast is best. But some mums just can’t do it and so formula literally becomes a lifesaver. I’m sick of seeing mums feel so guilty about it and letting their children bloody starve because they surely can’t give them the evil formula!!!!!! The programme basically tells a new mum that it’s really tough to breastfeed, there is no support, they will be judged BUT formula is not an option!!! Grrrrrrrrr 😡. AIBU

OP posts:
GreenMeerkat · 31/07/2018 09:54

YANBU.

Things like this really wind me up so I try not to watch them. Shows like despatches and panorama are usually so one-sided and are almost always trying to get an agenda across so not a balanced view at all.

DreamingofSunshine · 31/07/2018 09:57

I'm watching it now and I completely agree.

privatebaldrick · 31/07/2018 09:59

I saw the documentary presenter interviewed on Lorraine yesterday morning and sensed the 'formula is the devil' undertones so avoided watching the actual documentary. Why can't freedom of choice be promoted? And as you said OP, more often than not breastfeeding is attempted first and formula is a "last resort" when it sadly doesn't work out, so mothers carry enough of their own guilt without programmes like this adding to it! Angry

NauticalDisaster · 31/07/2018 09:59

Yes, the program was a shambles. As I’ve seen so many people comment across social media, fed is best.

princesscallie · 31/07/2018 10:00

I didn't see the program as i honestly have no interest. But I have friends who are posting about it on Facebook this morning. I formula fed both my kiss and I can honestly say I never felt one bit guilty over it. I had planned to feed my oldest but was not able as I had no milk in the beginning and she was starving and her blood sugars dropped so needed to give her something and continued from there. With my second I didn't even try to feed her. Both my kids are healthy happy children and I've no regrets about it. I understand that people feel guilty about how they feed but really once baby and mammy is happy what does it matter really.

I'm also a primary school teacher and I couldnt tell you how any of the kids in my class were fed. Nor do I care. People shouldnt feel bad for how they feel their children. They should do what's best for them and their family.

BoxsetsAndPopcorn · 31/07/2018 10:01

YANBU, haven't seen the show but it's not hard to imagine the details. It's rife everywhere.

I never felt demonised for using formula, it was an active choice I made. Just like using food jars, I didn't as preferred to make my own but they are there so that parents have a choice.

mustbemad17 · 31/07/2018 10:03

Haven't watched it but i'm with you. DS is 6 weeks old, he was born with a really severe tongue tie which made BF painful as hell for me - think toe curling, tears the entire time - and frustrating for him. Whilst we waited for the referral to have it cut the MW advised me to give him formula for both our sakes. The appointment took ten days to come through...without formula my son would not have got anywhere near enough nutrition to survive, & likely I would have had a mental breakdown.

I am so fed up of the whole demoralising crap. Rather than trying to make us FF mums feel crap, the money should go into funding better feeding support all round. I was superbly lucky this time to have a midwife & her assistant who looked at the whole picture when it came to our situation. With my DD i was made to feel like a failure because my MH meant I gave up BF after a week.

theycallmebabydriver · 31/07/2018 10:05

Totally agree with your assessment OP. The programme was a compete waste of time and effort of everyone involved in making or broadcasting it. What was the point they were trying to make? There was a good point in there about the withdrawal of funding for breastfeeding support but it got lost in a meander through directionless bollocks that built to the 'shocking' conclusion that you can't breastfeed parliament. Really? That's the hill you've chosen to die on?

Rosieposy4 · 31/07/2018 10:06

Breastfeeding rates are appallingly low in this country, many mothers reach straight for formula. An occasional reminder that formula is a poor second best is not a bad thing imo.

piperhick · 31/07/2018 10:06

I watched, I am a grandma now and I felt sad that it was so judgemental about formula. Yes, breast feeding is natural but many people struggle with it and for me, a happy mum is crucial for a happy baby. I just did not recognise this whole breastfeeding mums are treated so badly thing. I am sure some might be but most are not. I often see mums feeding, nobody notices or cares. It seemed to be a programme that was trying hard to provoke a reaction and promote an agenda of breastfeeding mums feeling awkward. The whole Westminster big feed just felt false and pointless, and the programme felt like a self congratulating vehicle for the presenter while making mums who did not breastfeed feel bad... again.

Catheroooo · 31/07/2018 10:07

They were quite clear that the program was about the lack of support that those mums who wanted to breastfeed received. It wasn't about breast is best.

That said I do agree that women are made to feel in general that they're not giving their baby the best when they give formula. It is true that breast is best though where it's possible but people need to be careful when judging those mums that there isn't an underlying legitimate reason for giving formula. We should definitely not be demonizing mums who formula feed. I think we should support more though to inform mums of the importance of breastfeeding where possible, without making them feel guilty for choosing formula. Which is what I think the program was trying to say. How that's done I'm not sure... the program made it very clear the health benefits of breastfeeding and I don't think that should be ignored lightly. I can understand why those who wanted to breastfeed but can't would feel the way you say after watching that program. It's very hard to get the balance right.

Scaredandshattered · 31/07/2018 10:10

As a woman that has just has a baby 2 weeks ago... I completely agree, I felt so guilty everytime I said I 50/50 feed.
I feel judged.

Shampooeeee · 31/07/2018 10:13

waves at the Nestle marketing team

BlueTears · 31/07/2018 10:14

I think this show was aimed at breastfeeding and it was made clear that's what it was about.

She also said that it wasn't aimed at people who couldn't breastfeed but more at the women who wanted to but didn't feel supported.

If you didn't want to watch it then you shouldn't but some people just want to be offended.

They can't promote formula when it FACT isn't as good as breast milk.

Everyone should get on with feeding their children and stop judging.

(I did formula feed and never felt judged for it)

Whereisthecoffee · 31/07/2018 10:14

My child is on a feeding plan while we await an appointment for tongue tie correction. Thet loses weight when ebf. The longer we wait the harder continuing breastfeeding is. I’m upset angry and annoyed at myself as it is at the moment without the demonisation of formula that I have to top up with. If the appointment was sooner and the midwives had noticed it quicker I’d be less likely to be a part of the statistic.

PurpleDaisies · 31/07/2018 10:14

YANBU.

Fed is best.

MrsL2016 · 31/07/2018 10:14

I have just watched the documentary and have to disagree that formula was demonised. The presenter made it clear she wasn't researching why people choose to formula feed or those who can't breastfeed, but rather the 80% of women who choose to try to breastfeed and why this rate drops so significantly soon after birth. It was concluded that there isn't enough support for breastfeeding mothers and societies attitudes to breastfeeding leads some mothers to feel unable to breastfeed in public etc. There was a section on formula but the conclusion was it was the companies that mislead families in their advertising of follow on milks and there is no evidence to prove comfort milks etc actually do what they say. They compared formula and breastmilk also but surely it is already widely known that breast milk is far superior to formula milk, that is just a fact. I do agree that the programme didn't really achieve much but it was only 30 minutes long.

JennyBlueWren · 31/07/2018 10:15

I watched it and just didn't think it added anything to the discussion apart from a brief bit about cuts to support in some areas.
There was the predictable thing about people objecting to breastfeeding in public and a mass breastfeed where the government couldn't fail to notice - on a patch of grass near parliament where they could easily been passed. I always think that sort of thing is odd. What if baby wasn't hungry?

runningkeenster · 31/07/2018 10:16

I agree OP. It's all so stupid. The decisions we make for our kids over the years have far more impact on them then whether we breastfeed or not.

I suspect the bottle fed baby who has home cooked meals with plenty of veg every night will grow up healthier than the breast fed baby who has takeaways most days. Exaggerated example but you see what I mean.

Breastfeeding rates are appallingly low in this country, many mothers reach straight for formula

I don't think they do. Some maybe but not the majority. I am sure most try at least for a few days (when it is at its most valuable). And not all babies feed well so it's get any old milk into them any old how rather than having the luxury of choice.

And bottle feeding means dad and anyone else can share the load rather than it all falling on the mum.

SchrodingersMeowth · 31/07/2018 10:17

Haven’t watched it, although having two children (one ff and one bf) I can see why it’s frowned upon as a first choice. Looking back, I wish I had persevered with my first in case it could have changed some of the outcomes we have faced with him.

Ophelialovescats · 31/07/2018 10:19

Better support for new mothers is what's needed .
My second daughter refused the breast , she had latching problems. I did not want to bottle feed, so I persevered (I had an amazing HV) She fed properly at 10 days old and thrived .
It's the healthiest and cheapest (once established, the easiest) option .
But, if a parent choses to bottle feed that's fine ...we should not judge each other.

GreenMeerkat · 31/07/2018 10:19

@Rosieposy4 do you not think that is done enough by midwives and health visitors without needing a one-sided tv documentary as well?

I guess you managed to breastfeed your DC then? Well good for you, but not everybody is able and those mothers who feel bad enough as it is do not need 'documentaries' and people like you to make them feel worse.

Bore off!

papayasareyum · 31/07/2018 10:20

as someone who exclusively breastfed my eldest two for a year, I agree totally. Our youngest never really latched on properly and I did use formula. Some of the messages about formula suggest it’s the same as giving your newborn a bottle of coke! It’s a perfectly good alternative to breastfeeding. My daughter thrived. I think the diet you give them when they’ve weaned is far far more important, but people love to preach about breastfeeding. Anything to whip new Mums eh?

ginandnappies · 31/07/2018 10:21

I wouldn't be able to watch it without getting myself wound up. My son is FF and he is way ahead of others his age; barely gets ill and is happy and most importantly full!! Does my head in, why are we still here? I went though horrible pnd triggered by guilt because I couldn't grasp BF. The sooner fed is best is truly believed the better!

theycallmebabydriver · 31/07/2018 10:21

I also think it's very counter productive to give air time to people voicing negative opinions. It gives the impression that if you feed in public people will be awful to you. DD is 6 weeks now and I was very anxious about feed in her in public but it turns out, nobody gives the first shit. The only person who has said a word to me is a man who saw I was feeding, apologised to me for not realising and offered to put his cigarette out. Why make mothers anxious when people, even if they don't think you should be feeding in public, are very highly unlikely to say or do anything to make you feel uncomfortable?

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