Demonisation of formula!!!

[Summertimehaze]

Don’t know if anyone watched the Dispatches programme last night on breastfeeding? The more I think about that programme the more annoyed I’m getting!!! The demonisation of formula really doesn’t help mothers who struggle to breastfeed and have to start using formula or even as a top up!! Most mothers want to do what’s right for their babies and know that breast is best. But some mums just can’t do it and so formula literally becomes a lifesaver. I’m sick of seeing mums feel so guilty about it and letting their children bloody starve because they surely can’t give them the evil formula!!!!!! The programme basically tells a new mum that it’s really tough to breastfeed, there is no support, they will be judged BUT formula is not an option!!! Grrrrrrrrr 😡. AIBU

Face it, breastfeeding in the uk is a dying art.
*lowest rate of breastfeeding rates at six months in the world
*formula use seen as normal
*breastfeeding support extremely patchy - non-existing in some areas
*women expected /NEEDED/wanting to return to employment
*No generational support - due to previous generations being actively discouraged from breastfeeding
*fed is best (pro formula) campaign
*scientific information being labelled as "shaming"
Breastfeeding is nutritionally scientifically shown and proven to be the best option for baby, however it is so hard initially and women are so unsupported and society is now so proven formula that it really is no suprise at all that the majority of babies are now formula fed.

I didn't watch it because I knew it would make me feel awful.

DS is nearly 6 weeks and now formula fed (with whatever I can express in evening too). He had a 95% tongue tie which was separated at a week by which time my nipples were cracked and bleeding. I managed to exclusively feed him for 11 days but I got mastitis twice in the first 3 weeks of his life, ending up on fluids in a&e the first time. He would also feed for 6 hours straight over night and wasn't satisfied.

He was putting weight on beautifully but I needed to introduce formula for my own sanity. He takes far more formula than I think I would have been able to match with breast milk.

It was an incredibly hard decision for me to make as I had wanted to breastfeed exclusively but he's happier and so am I.

I'm one of three - we were all formula fed.
I have two babies both were formula fed. Do I feel guilty about it? Not one iota. I can't stand self righteous people who believe that they have the right to lecture other people about their choices.

Do 80% of mothers really want to breastfeed? I would dispute that, tbh.

Just to add, the breastfeeding support locally was fantastic.

The evidence is that formula feeding is significantly less good than breastfeeding. I thought the programme (repeatedly) made the point that this wasn't about individual women but about putting pressure on policy makers to improve and fund proper support services for women. I say this as someone devastated (genuinely) to not be able to feed my eldest. I hate the word "choice" personally as most women don't "choose" to FF they end up forced to due to reaching a mental or physical breaking point either for them or baby when bf isn't working and they don't get any or enough support.

I can't stand self righteous people who believe that they have the right to lecture other people about their choices.

This is part of the problem, I have never and would never lecture other people about their choices (not least because I don't care) and don't know anyone that would. But many people seem to think anyone stating the facts that breastmilk is best is being self righteous and lecturing. They aren't. They are stating facts. Your own issues colour your perception.

I think too little emphasis is given to the birth and the physiology (how good at sucking!) of your baby.My eldest is now 4 and severely dyspraxic and I suspect that came into play... but no evidence. I bf two children after failing despite my best efforts to bf my first. Honestly, I wish someone had said "it's not all about you"! I almost didn't try the second time around but glad I did.

I hate the word "choice" personally as most women don't "choose" to FF they end up forced to due to reaching a mental or physical breaking point either for them or baby when bf isn't working and they don't get any or enough support

Thats the trope, as if every single women tries desperately but is forced to give up. When we know that thats not actually true. Yes, for some, absolutely, but also there are plenty of women who don't even consider BF, or who try for a day and then say no thanks, or a week.

And yes, more support is needed, but there seems to be a notion that you can't BF unless you get professional support. What we really need is to promote the idea that its something that most women can do naturally without any particular input, just more confidence and knowledge and normalisation.

To me a lot of emphasis is put on the nutritional aspect of bf - which yep, compared to ff is better for baby - without anybody being totally honest about the whole picture. Bf can cause a woman's MH to deteriorate if it doesn't go well, doesnt work or even if a mum is unaware of how brutal the first few days of constant feeds can be. Bf means you literally cannot outsource feeding to a partner if you need a break. It can hurt which goes against the whole if you do it right it won't hurt bullshit i was spun

Women need - and deserve - to be told more than 'bf is nutritionally better for your baby therefore anything else is substandard'. If you don't have the whole picture you genuinely cannot make an informed choice. Breast is best as a stand alone based solely on nutrition only serves to isolate people ime

The other women on my ward you had babies the same day as me were ff or mixed feeding by the end of that day - if they wanted to ebf they were getting very bad advice! So I don’t think everyone starts out bfing.

Nuitritiin is important but the comforting and bonding aspects of bf was a big reason for me to continue with it.

The fact is breast is better. If you can breast feed you should

Only if you want to. If you dont thats equally fine.

I was having trouble BF'ing my first on the ward and was encouraged by one of the staff to feed formula, so no, the support is not there. I did persevere and managed to BF for six weeks until I realised it was making me depressed and unable to bond with my baby as I hated it so much. The exact same thing happened to my mum with me but back then formula was even more 'frowned upon' so she tried for months and I ended up severely malnourished because I wasn't getting the right amount of feed.

I FF my second baby and I am currently pregnant and intent to FF this one. I do understand that breast is best in general, but it's not for everybody.

Fed is best
To all who say this is wrong I say bollocks.
I am a dad of 2 Ds, 18 and 15.
The eldest was born into bf fascism at its height, poor DW had no milk for 10 weeks and got mastitis too, but in Hospital and home, midwifes, refused formula milk and bullied us into bf him.
In end both of grandmums and I said enough is enough. Dw mum bought ready mixed milk from chemist.
Ds1 lost over 2 pounds out from 6 and half.
In his primary class we know 3 out of 28, who ended up in hospital and 6 others like Ds. Non of their siblings where BF.
My Dw still feels guilt today, 18 years later!

BY the way Ds1 is 6'2" 13 stone, played both codes of rugby, still does, can run 5k in 24 mins and 10k in 55 minutes. Ds2 6' 3", plays rugby, football and also runs, 5k in 26 minutes. So ff can't be too bad.

I find BF a very middle class thing to bash WC mothers over.

Also since when is stating facts, "demonising"?
It's impossible to tell the truth these days because those with their own agenda start screaming.

• breastfeeding is initially hard and without educated 24/7 well funded support and a significant societal attitude shift, mothers will experience mental and emotional detriment. *breastfed babies have significantly lower rates of ear infection / gut disorders / asthma hayfever eczema All this points to breastfeeding support needing decent funding - which it won't get whilst the pro formula groups are screaming that the world is "shaming" them and demanding silence around breastfeeding. ergo if you want to breastfeed and need help to do so- none available and you'll have no choice but to formula feed anyway.

I agree support is lacking but how do you improve it? I had dd 7 weeks ago and she couldn't latch. I had multiple midwives and health visitors look at it, I went to a peer support group, spoke to a lactation consultant all of whom told me I was doing everything right and just to keep trying.

Nipple shields helped to a degree when someone eventually mentioned them to me but by the time they did, she was already heading towards a fortnight old and my supply had nose dived as my mental state, not helped by the fact that in both pregnancies, my milk has turned up on day 3 along side suicidal thoughts. Plus with a 3 year old, I couldn't just sit on the sofa watching box sets like I did with him.

She's now exclusively formula fed. Had one of the many people observing my attempts at latching her said "nipple shields" in the first week, she'd probably still be getting breast milk, possibly even exclusively breastfed like her brother was at 7 weeks.

Buntyll it’s people with your level of fury/uncaring manner that are the bane of bf AND formula feeding mothers. No one here is a ‘lactivist’ and supporting bf isntsaying women aren’t trying hard enough. Stop being bitter and be supportive. If someone is passionate about bf that doesn’t mean they automatically think formula is evil.

Totally agree with Amandu women are their own worst enemy.
We should support each other.

We need to get breastfeeding rates up.

Why?

I formula fed my first child as the hospital recommended it as I was quite poorly and it was the best advice at the time. My dd is fit, healthy, happy no health issues, had antibiotics once in her 15 and a half years!

I had Ds 2 years later and breastfed him, it was hell and miserable, he was plagued with eczema, food allergies, skin allergies, ear infections, tonsillitis, we were never away from the dr when he was a baby and toddler for antibiotics then he started preschool and picked up ever bug going even now as a teenager he's ill far more often than Dd.

When friends and family have asked my advice I have been quite honest about my experiences with FF and BF.

@User1471 that's because you've latched on to a convenient phrase without looking at the campaign behind it. 'Fed is best', as a campaign, is pro-formula and implies women who EBF their children are at risk of starving them. Which, to quote you, is bollocks. It's not class related. It's a campaign that undermines the already fragile confidence of new mums that they can feed their babies.

The sheer number of women who say 'I didn't have enough milk' vastly outweighs the number of women who, for medical reasons, actually don't. They fear they don't, and they don't have ready access to the support they need to make a decision. 'Fed is best' insidiously plays on that fear - and it's trotted out as some sort of catch-up platitude when all it does is distract from the issues at hand.

• catch-all

I wish people had been more honest with me about bf when i had my first. I tried with DD, but all these misconceptions meant that I felt like an utter failure after every feed. My own MW & HV teams were pretty abysmal when it came to support & i discovered & accessed the pink ladies too late. Not one of my bf friends told me it could be hard on several levels, they made it sound easy - when i then struggled it felt like it was something i was doing wrong. In reality i wasnt doing anything wrong!