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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to keep on worrying about the height of my ds?

139 replies

Actrom · 30/07/2018 17:56

He is now 14 and only 145cm tall. He is really small compared to his friends and his 10 yo sister has caught up to him. He is coping well but it starts to frustrate him more and more that the growth spurt isn’t coming.

He has been tested and there is no medical issue. He just has a delayed bone age and combined with the fact that hubby and me are somewhat below average (165 and 175), he is really small. He should however suddenly get a growth spurt, but it cannot be predicted when… That is why I keep worrying, because as long as it hasn’t happened, well... it hasn’t happened..

Does anyone of you know kids who were small like my ds and who have grown a lot in their later teens?

And also, aren’t kids huge compared to when we were young? I mean my dd has two friends who are just 9 and a lot taller than her. In general the kids in her class appear huge compared to when I was that age…

OP posts:
Myheartbelongsto · 30/07/2018 18:00

My boyfriends son is shooting up at the moment and neither his mother or father are tall. He has just turned 13 and has been shooting up since he turned 12 maybe. My boyfriend is maybe 5'10.

My son has just turned 12 and hasn't had a growth spurt at all and his father is 6'5".

I suppose there's just no way of knowing op.

Original poster
Actrom · 30/07/2018 18:02

Thank you for that reply. Do you have an idea of he height of the boys?

OP posts:
Mrsbird311 · 30/07/2018 18:03

Both my boys were teenie tiny and once they hit 13.5 they shot up, literally new shoes and trousers every three weeks, both are now considered very average height although both are very slim!!
Honestly if you e had him checked and there is no medical reason he will be fine,
My eldest son is now much taller than the boy who was the tallest in his class at 11.

SaucyJack · 30/07/2018 18:05

Why worry if he’s healthy? Being short isn’t a crime.

MissWimpyDimple · 30/07/2018 18:07

Friends son is now 19 and still around 5,3". His father is also small. Unfortunately he is quite conscious about it but there isn't much he can do.

Original poster
Actrom · 30/07/2018 18:08

Off course being short is not a crime. But it can be difficult especially for boys, and as he starts to get more frustrate about it, I start worrying more and hope it comes soon...

OP posts:
Pickleypickles · 30/07/2018 18:09

My best mate growing up was always little (he was called little fin) then when he was 15/16 he started to shoot up and by 18 he was over 6 foot! I doubt he would ever be that tall, my friends dad was very tall too, but growth spurts definitely are a thing

YaLoVeras · 30/07/2018 18:11

When I went to a 20 year school reunion, I was taken aback by how many of the boys I'd remembered as short were now tall. Men/boys keep growing for ages.

ChrissyHynde · 30/07/2018 18:13

My husband left school at 16 and 5'3". Six months later he was 5'11". We have similar with out DS13 I just hope his growth spurt is before 16.

jellymaker · 30/07/2018 18:14

We are in the same position as you. Our DS is 14 and still has not had his growth spurt. He has just made it into age 10 clothes. I have spoken to a nurse at the GPs about it - she said that if has still not started at 14.5 then they will refer to endocrinology and give him testosterone. Its not fun for him as he gets ribbed about it where ever he goes.

Sweetandkind · 30/07/2018 18:15

It's so hard to know how they will grow and medical advise is very variable when it comes to child growth, which often means kids that need some help, are missed. Have you tried the Child growth foundation for advise? There's a supportive parent forum.

Badbadtromance · 30/07/2018 18:15

To be honest i worry too as ds dad was 6.6ft yet at almost 16 ds is only 5.7ft and not had a growth spurt yet

DroningOn · 30/07/2018 18:16

I recall a noticeable spurt at between 15 and 16. I wouldn't worry

Meltedicicle · 30/07/2018 18:21

Yes, my younger brother was really small for years! I was quite tall and by 11/12 was my adult height of 5 foot 7 and then stopped growing but he was small for years. I went to uni at 18 and was still taller than him (15 at the time) but I think by the time I’d finished the second year he had shot up to nearly 6 foot so he must have been 17.

upsideup · 30/07/2018 18:23

DD1's boyfriend is 6ft 2 now but he didnt reach 5ft until he was 16.
His little brother is 13 and the same height as (tall) 9 year old ds, everyone is expecting him to shoot up the same as his brother.

Hadjab · 30/07/2018 18:27

I’m 5ft 4’’, my husband was 6ft. Our son at the age of 14 was less than 5 feet tall, my youngest daughter at the age of 6 was the same height. Luckily, my son grew over night - he’s now 17, and 6ft 1’’, but it certainly felt like touch and go for a while.

Echobelly · 30/07/2018 18:33

Yes, my brother was tiny. He was probably about your DS' height aged 14, but he is now about 5ft 8 - not tall, but not short either. He really shot up between 15-16 and went from being tiny to average height.

Moussemoose · 30/07/2018 18:36

Stories about other boys shooting up wont help because they imply it will all be 'sorted out' and that being short is bad.

My DS is 5'6 at 15 same height as my dad, my brother and several cousins. My DPs family are all tall and think being short is a disability!

When he mentions it I point out all the things in his favour, he is clever, funny and really good looking (I know I'm his mum but he is!) and can communicate really well. I don't try to pretend being short is brilliant but I don't let him think it is the end of the world either.

If you 'worry' about it and he picks up on that he might feel like being short is a failure.

All the posters who mean well but say "you might be lucky" or "hold out hope for a growth spurt" are just pilling on the pressure to be tall.

Your DS might be short - so what?

Condragulations · 30/07/2018 18:40

My son has dwarfism, he will always be short. We make it our lives’ mission to instil in him self love and confidence, and the knowledge that tall stature is not indicative of being successful.

I suggest you do the same. He’s healthy, he will grow. Does it really matter if that’s now or in a few years?

Condragulations · 30/07/2018 18:41

And absolutely what Moussemoose said

Rockyrockcake · 30/07/2018 18:45

Both my boys were much smaller than their classmates but continued to grow until they were 20. They are 5 ft 10 now, which is positively
Lanky in our family. I am 5 feet and DH is 5 feet 5.

Meltedicicle · 30/07/2018 18:49

Sorry, should have added (in light of what pp’s have said) that my dad and the men in his family are all over 6 foot and my mum was same height as me so I think it was expected that my brother would shoot up eventually which he did but if you and your DH aren’t particularly tall then it might be different for your DS but certainly boys often are not their adult height at 14 and can have several more years of growing left to do.

purpleorchidwhite · 30/07/2018 18:59

My friend's two boys were very short , in proportion, but small in stature.

The first one reached 15 1/2 one summer and grew nearly 5 inches! Just slept, ate and grew. He's towering over us now.

The younger one was exactly the same. He's just had his 16th summer and has gone from short to full grown man, towering above us.

Some boys grow all at once.

KOKOagainandagain · 30/07/2018 19:08

DS1 was tiny growing up and was teased about always being the smallest. It is ridiculous really. His form of autism (speaking in full sentences at 2) lead to interesting double takes as his height was average for a one year old! He was like Stewie from Family Guy. He thought he always would be small and identified with footballers such as Messi who were 'short'. He is now rather disappointed at 17 to be average height and still growing.

DS2 on the other hand is very tall (predicted to be 6"5') and has been teased about that. Plus expectations have always been higher (from others) as people assume he is several years older than he actually is - especially as he is autistic and his behaviour is delayed in some noticeable areas like speech.

You can't win and boys do seem to have it harder with peers and expectations. Self acceptance is the key. Self worth is not measured in cms. Warwick Davies and his wonderful family demonstrate this in spades. Height really does not matter.

user1472334322 · 30/07/2018 19:19

I'm only 5"1' and haven't grown since I was 14 or so. Younger db was shorter than me until he was around 16 (I was 18) then he grew past me. He's 40 in a month and now around 5"9'-5"10' quite an average height. As and teenager he had 2 close friends who were past 6" at 15 or so and they always backed him up if anyone had and go about his height.
OP, 14 is still quite young, I'm sure ds will grow more in the next few years.
Also, I agree that kids are huge these days! I work in a Junior school and most of the 10-11 year olds are quite alot taller than me! Obviously I am only 5"1' but many of them, including the girls, are 4-5 inches taller.