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AIBU?

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Original poster

to keep on worrying about the height of my ds?

139 replies

Actrom · 30/07/2018 17:56

He is now 14 and only 145cm tall. He is really small compared to his friends and his 10 yo sister has caught up to him. He is coping well but it starts to frustrate him more and more that the growth spurt isn’t coming.

He has been tested and there is no medical issue. He just has a delayed bone age and combined with the fact that hubby and me are somewhat below average (165 and 175), he is really small. He should however suddenly get a growth spurt, but it cannot be predicted when… That is why I keep worrying, because as long as it hasn’t happened, well... it hasn’t happened..

Does anyone of you know kids who were small like my ds and who have grown a lot in their later teens?

And also, aren’t kids huge compared to when we were young? I mean my dd has two friends who are just 9 and a lot taller than her. In general the kids in her class appear huge compared to when I was that age…

OP posts:
ShellieEllie · 01/08/2018 19:25

My DS was tiny until his growth spurt started at 17. I was worried he was going to take after my side of the family (I'm 5'2 and my dad was smaller than me at 5ft). Turns out DS took after his 6ft dad's side and is now even taller than him :) Boys can continue growing until they are 21 I believe.

Everytimeref · 01/08/2018 19:28

My son is 30 and 5ft 3ins. He has had it tough dealing with it. His self esteem has been impacted by those who think it's acceptable to bully someone because they are short.
Sorry but not all small boys suddenly have a growth spurt and grow to 6ft.

Tunnocks34 · 01/08/2018 19:31

Honestly, I see this all the time with year 9/10 boys. They go off for summer coming up to your shoulder, and by Christmas they are looking down on you!

Tunnocks34 · 01/08/2018 19:31

Year 9/10* not 9/10 year old

SouthWestmom · 01/08/2018 19:52

Well my ds is short at 13 and borderline growth deficiency. I was really disappointed they decided against treatment. If I could magic him taller I would because unfortunately society is a bit shit about small men and I'd like him not to have that challenge on top of anything else.

garkowl · 06/08/2018 19:36

It remembers of two extremely tiny boys in my year. I was the shortest except for those two, but they were a full head shorter than me. I had a growth spurt between 15 and 16 to reach my current 5'4" and they didn't even reach my shoulders anymore. It was sure not easy for them as they looked out of place (even my not so tall 10 yo sister noticed she was taller than them) . However when I met them again years later they had grown to be an inch taller than me. Sure not tall guys, but more than enough for a normal life.

Groovee · 06/08/2018 19:38

My dd is 15 nearly 16. In the last few months he's sprouted up in huge amounts. He's taller than me now. Dh and I aren't very tall but dd is the height of dh. Ds has jumped from age 11 trousers in January to age 15. But he's so skinny!

SaucyJack · 06/08/2018 21:54

I know it might seem astounding Garkowl- but other than the odd spot of bother with high supermarket shelves, those of us who are below average height do (in the main) lead “normal” lives.

MissMisery · 07/08/2018 18:57

I recently met a cousin for the first time- he is 6ft 4”. I asked his mum if he had always been tall and she said nope, he was always the smallest in his class until puberty. Guess you never can tell what you’ll end up with!

Baubletrouble43 · 07/08/2018 19:15

Just wanted to add and reiterate that it's not a big deal to not be tall ( should this have to be said?) I'm 5'2 and my brother is just under 5'5 ( I think) and neither of us gives two hoots about our height. Never affected my brothers confidence or success with women.

Condragulations · 07/08/2018 20:00

OP trying to make out she doesn’t have a problem with him being short but it’s the rest of society that think being tall is an advantage Hmm

Building himself up to love himself and be confident and comfortable with whatever height he ends up with begins with you. People that think the way you do are precisely the problem you’re complaining about. It’s not his height that’s the problem, it’s your attitude to height. You’ve already said he’s a healthy boy, be thankful for that and learn to be proud of whatever’s stature he ends up with.

I bet if he was a girl you wouldn’t be so concerned if he was shorter than his peers. Tall men aren’t worth more than short men. You say you know that but this whole thread smells like you don’t believe it to be honest.

Ohlellykelly · 07/08/2018 20:09

I prefer men that aren't especially tall, 5'8, 5'7 is nice. Being tall means nothing, being a nice kind person is worth way more.

Ohlellykelly · 07/08/2018 20:10

And my first dh was 6ft. He was a knob.

rainingcatsanddog · 07/08/2018 20:14

My dis left primary school as the second smallest kid but is 6 foot 2 now. He was 15/16 when he shot up the most.

Can your h or your brothers remember when they shot up in height? My son followed a similar growth pattern to my brothers.

hanahsaunt · 07/08/2018 20:23

It's really, really hard. Ds2 has a significant bone age delay and we are fully conversant with the facts. He will grow. His growth spurt will not be normal when it eventually happens. He will continue to grow until ~25yo. None of the knowing about 10 years hence makes up for the stigmatisation NOW and the missing of myriad opportunities because he is still the size of a 12yo (he's 15.5). His passion is sport and despite being technically excellent in football and cricket he cannot compete for team places in those sports given his age and size. It is heartbreaking. He is under consultant care but that's a whole other saga.

MsJudgemental · 07/08/2018 20:39

This really pisses me me off. Why is it that in the UK being tall is seen as some kind of an achievement? I work in education and am a woman who is 4’ 9” / 147cm. Taller than me aged 10? Well done you. Told that my son at 8 months gestation was ‘too small’. Too small for who? Quite big enough for me, thank you very much. His dad is barely 5’ 7” but that hasn’t prevented him from becoming a world-renowned scientist. DS is 18 1/2 and is about 5’ 5” despite going through puberty early. Being the smallest in his class never bothered him and he was certainly never bullied for it or for anything else. It doesn’t bother his girlfriend of over 2 years who is taller than him. He is good-looking, clever and emotionally intelligent. He is about to head off to a Russell Group University. But hey, what a shame he will never approach 6 foot.

ProperLavs · 07/08/2018 20:41

People are always crowing on here about the height of their kids. I have never understood it, it's not something they have achieved, something to be proud of.

NotMeOhNo · 07/08/2018 20:49

When I've seen the short boy in the class picked on (year 9) I've always said to them, "he'll end up taller than you, mark my words".
I've never been wrong. In my observation, late grower = tall

AjasLipstick · 07/08/2018 22:56

NotMe Have you noticed that with girls too? My DD is 14 and only 5 foot tall. Many of her friends are taller than me and I'm 5.6...but we're in Oz where people seem giant anyway.

CommanderDaisy · 08/08/2018 06:37

Ds15 was one of the shortest in his year since start of high school. Last November he grew from 5'3 to currently 5'10.
Does he have big feet? That was how we keep reassuring our DS. He had size 9 feet which went to size 11 first, before he shot up.

My husband is 5'10 and I'm 5'9

deptfordgirl · 08/08/2018 08:35

My dh was like this! His parents always say about how they took him to the doctor as he was so small and they predicted he would grow to 5'3". Then one summer when he was 15 he had a huge growth spurt and is now 6'2"! He still has aching bones sometimes from the rapid growth.

CSIblonde · 08/08/2018 19:12

It's hard for boys that people value height as a desirable attribute. My friend's(who are both short) 13 year old son was tiny until literally 6months ago, he's now 5ft10. Upstairs neighbours are both v short, their 16year old is 6foot1. His brother is 11 & tiny at moment.
I didn't get a growth spurt until 15:I'm now 5ft10. I don't know if its been disproved since but I read that a high protein diet produces taller people. (A study on diets effect on child's cognitive & physical development ) .

lasfraak · 09/08/2018 18:22

It is small for sure, but don't worry he'll grow!

AnElderlyLadyOfMediumHeight · 09/08/2018 18:37

As the mother of one boy who is on the small side of average and another who will definitely be small, and wife to a small (and very academically and professionally successful, actually) man, and as a considerably-shorter-than-average woman who has never had the slightest bit of angst about her height but who can remember her childhood best friend going through horrible painful treatments because the fear was she would be too tall Sad, the prejudice against small men (or - perhaps more accurately - the perceived need for men to be taller than women) I see coming out on this allegedly enlightened site time and bloody time again drives me to despair.

Do none of you reflect for even one minute on what it is you are associating with height in men, and what that actually means (nothing, in fact)?

Condragulations · 09/08/2018 18:39

Get a grip hanahsaunt seriously.

Guessing you haven’t RTFT lasfraak 🤦‍♀️

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