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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to keep on worrying about the height of my ds?

139 replies

Actrom · 30/07/2018 17:56

He is now 14 and only 145cm tall. He is really small compared to his friends and his 10 yo sister has caught up to him. He is coping well but it starts to frustrate him more and more that the growth spurt isn’t coming.

He has been tested and there is no medical issue. He just has a delayed bone age and combined with the fact that hubby and me are somewhat below average (165 and 175), he is really small. He should however suddenly get a growth spurt, but it cannot be predicted when… That is why I keep worrying, because as long as it hasn’t happened, well... it hasn’t happened..

Does anyone of you know kids who were small like my ds and who have grown a lot in their later teens?

And also, aren’t kids huge compared to when we were young? I mean my dd has two friends who are just 9 and a lot taller than her. In general the kids in her class appear huge compared to when I was that age…

OP posts:
fatbottomgirl67 · 30/07/2018 19:22

My son's 14 and is finally growing. Some of the boys in his class are well over 6ft. He's only just passed 5 ft. We've been marking it on the door frame and it's good for him to see that he's getting bigger. I guess they all grow at different rates and girls seem to shoot up much earlier but stop sooner. Nothing wrong with being short but easier not to be

PaulRuddislush · 30/07/2018 19:23

My son is 17 and currently 5'10". Until about 18 months ago he was only 5'2". Dh and I are both short so didn't think he'd grow but now he towers over us. Somebody told me once that all boys are taller than their mothers, no idea if that's true.

Makegoodchoices · 30/07/2018 19:25

The nephew was average, then getting worried about his height at 12-14 as it slowed so much, all friends having the big growth spurt at 14ish etc, 16 it hit over the summer and he’s suddenly 6ft.

Happygoldfinch · 30/07/2018 19:26

My friend's son was so small that in year 9 he was cast as a small child in the school play. By the sixth form he was over six foot!

InsulatedNotIsolated · 30/07/2018 19:27

MousseMousse Round of applause for that post. We are a short family too and 16yr old DS I started 5ft 7 and stopped growing. Nothing wrong with being short. All these promises of growth spurts, it might not happen at all and OP’s DS needs to happy in whatever height he ends up as.

Moussemoose · 30/07/2018 19:27

My DS will never grow to be 6ft no matter how many of you have sons of who have friends who had sons that did grow.

And do you know what? That's ok, he'll be shorter than average so what?

Baubletrouble43 · 30/07/2018 19:28

My db was always really really short. Noticeably tinier than everyone in his class, or indeed the class or two below. I'm two years younger and for a significant period of our childhood I was taller than him, and I'm not tall! He ate well ( not fussy, ate all veg etc) was excellent at sport ( football, cricket) and had no health issues. He's now 5'6 or 7, so smallish for a man, but not ridiculously so, and taller than me so that makes him happy! Some kids are just small op, I wouldn't worry.

Witchend · 30/07/2018 19:28

165cm is 5'6 isn't it, which isn't small for a lady
175cm is 5'10 which is over average for a man I thought.
So neither you are short (I suppose assuming your DH isn't the smaller one in which case he is a little smaller than average, but you're tall)

Plenty of boys are small at 14yo and grow. The chances are he will too. However I understand why you're worrying, but I'm not sure much will be done at this point.

TheCriminalMind · 30/07/2018 19:29

My brother was teeny tiny until around 16/17. He is now 19 and he is 6’4 and dwarves me!
I’m sure your son will shoot up but if he doesn’t then it’s not a big deal (most male actors and singers are actually relatively short).

Baubletrouble43 · 30/07/2018 19:30

Just to add, my db seemed to have a growth spurt at 18 when he went to uni. This was the first time in his life he wasn't ridiculously short. I must also add, that he's never been bothered by being small, girls flocked to him and all my friends fancied him! Which was annoying!

Happygoldfinch · 30/07/2018 19:32

I'm just thinking about where I work and the big salaries - and the earners of these big salaries are all smaller than me.

6triesbuttingout · 30/07/2018 19:35

Had this with one of my boys. He’s now 5ft 10 but very late growth spurt. Has ds had his s hand xrayed

ProperLavs · 30/07/2018 19:37

What the hell is wrong with being 'short'? Why are all these posters going on about how relieved they were that brothers/sons they have are short and then suddenly grew to be giants? How is that helpful?
My oldest sons are about average, they were always below as children, they haven't turned into 6 foot giants. I am average height their dad is only 5'8" but it's never done him any harm.

SendintheArdwolves · 30/07/2018 19:38

A) What will "worrying" achieve? Apart from give your son the unshakeable conviction that he is not good enough?

B) Why the obsession with men and height? If you were stressing that your daughter's boobs weren't big enough, you would be torn apart and rightly so.

C) I'm female and have dated men shorter than me (including my current partner) . The only time it was an issue was when the man made it so - insecure men who felt they had to keep "proving" themselves because they had weird hang ups about it. Your boy might turn out short, tall or average - but please don't turn him into a person who thinks height matters.

itbemay · 30/07/2018 19:40

My 13yo ds is 140cm we’re also waiting on growth spurt! My dd age 17 is 5ft 9, my dh is 6ft and I’m 5ft 11. Dh brother is 6ft 4 and was same as ds, had a growth spurt around 15yo.... my poor ds is teased relentlessly amongst us ‘giants’

Original poster
Actrom · 30/07/2018 19:40

Just to be clear, I have nothing against being short, and tall people are not in any way better than short people (or vice versa). But teenage boys look at it differently and see certain advantages in being taller (not necessarily being tall, but at least not being the smallest in school). Of course you can tell them it all doesn't matter, but that doesn't mean they listen to that.

OP posts:
Moussemoose · 30/07/2018 19:41

SendintheArdwolves excellent point about boobs!

ProperLavs exactly being short is not the end of the world.

If some woman doesn't want my clever, charming, gorgeous boy because he is short that will be her loss.

OohOohMrPeevly · 30/07/2018 19:44

Diet can make a big difference - make sure he's eating lots of protein and not too many carbs. One of the reasons the dutch are the tallest nation is attributed to diet (milk, meat, cheese etc) - google it - there's lots of stuff about it on the internet. I wanted my son to be tall and I made sure he got lots of protein and he's over six feet now. Genetics play a big part but diet also has a big influencing factor - hence the fact that the population of poorer countries like Mexico tend to be shorter but when they move to the US and eat a better diet their children are much taller (again google it).

SlothSlothSloth · 30/07/2018 19:44

I’m not sure if they’re appropriate for 14-year-olds or if you’d need to wait a bit, but could calcium supplements help give him a boost?

Condragulations · 30/07/2018 19:51

not necessarily being tall, but at least not being the smallest in school

Again, my son will be the smallest in the school. The only place he probably won’t be the smallest is LPUK gatherings.

It really is up to you to teach him there are far worse things in the world than being short.

It is not a flaw.

LakieLady · 30/07/2018 20:00

It's early to worry OP.

One of my friends was only 5'2 at 17. He got up to 5'3 at 18/19.

One day, when he was about 21/22, I suddenly realised he wasn't much shorter than me (5'6"). At 24, he finally stopped growing and he was 5'7" - not tall, but not exceptionally short for the 1970s.

This gave me false hope, as I had been enormously tall as a child but stopped growing at 12 when I was 5'6". I thought I might manage another couple of inches.

I understand that boys get a secondary spurt of growth hormone in their late teens, his must have been a bit late in arriving.

Shutupsidney · 30/07/2018 20:11

My son has dwarfism, he will always be short. We make it our lives’ mission to instil in him self love and confidence, and the knowledge that tall stature is not indicative of being successful

My niece also has dwarfism. She is amazing. She is a huge person with so much to give. Her Uncle is paralysed in a wheel chair and as she says: little legs, but hey, mine work.

It's tough being little sometimes, but your son has advantages that lots don't. A loving family.

Focus on what he has, not on what he can't change.

Jammysod · 30/07/2018 20:14

A lad I went to school was around 5ft3 when we left at 16...i was super surprised to see him a couple of years later as a 6ft+ strapping man. My husband was on the small side as a child to, all of a sudden he shot up to 6ft3 in his later teens. (his parents are both on the short side too).

Shutupsidney · 30/07/2018 20:20

My husband was short until 17. He's now 6'. His brother was short at 17, never grew. It really means nothing that someone else grew.

SendintheArdwolves · 30/07/2018 20:36

I don't have anything against being short

Yeah, that's not really true, is it OP? Because you're not on here asking "how can I give my son confidence that his height isn't important?"

You're on here asking "please reassure me that my son won't be short!!"

Dress it up as "teenagers can be cruel" but it sounds like the person most concerned about having a short son is YOU.