Shop assistants asking if I need help

[blueskypink]

I probably am just being an intolerant bitch but I wish shop assistants would just leave me alone.

If I'm standing in a shop looking around with a puzzled/confused expression THEN, by all means ask me if I need help. IF, however, I'm walking purposefully towards some merchandise, am deep in concentration studying a label or an item, or have literally just walked through the door (avoiding eye contact and keeping as far away from you as possible) could you please just leave me alone?

If I want your help I'll ask for it.

I also don't want someone saying hello as I cross a threshold and saying 'bye - thank you' when I leave 5 seconds later because I've realised very quickly it's not my sort of shop.

I presume assistants are obliged to do this? Or maybe everyone else likes this sort of attention and doesn't snarl the way I do? I'm being unreasonable aren't I? But after a day's shopping I just wanted to scream "leave me the fuck alone!!"

Ceridwens I'm also autistic, I'd like my family to make allowances for me, they don't, I don't expect random shop staff to even know I'm autistic. I just say, "No thanks." The "what smells do you like?" question gets "all of them" because I can't think if you ask me things like that. Because I'm a regular in Lush Kings Road, they just let me get on with it.

Yeah it's not their choice, I never met anyone who liked it when I worked in retail, either assistants or customers.
It's very American and irritating

We’re evidently supposed to feel desperately sorry for the legions of harangued and browbeaten shop workers. So, rather than cause them to get into trouble, people who struggle with enforced communication - for whatever reason - are supposed to avoid that environment and stay home.

Yeah, how dare they not be mindreaders and know you have autism and aren't a mystery shopper?

You don't have to respond. I personally don't give a shiny shite if a stranger doesn't say hello to me, but I still have to do my job regardless of whether it makes you uncomfortable or not. Unfortunately I need to pay the bills and the mortgage and I don't really fancy getting sacked just because saying "hello" makes some people uncomfortable.

The answers on this thread are so strange. I do a lot of my shopping online and although I am relatively antisocial, I actively like knowing that there are shop assistants available if I need help, because if I go into M&S (for instance) for XYZ product, I can get out faster if a shop assistant comes up to me and say "Hi, is there anything I can help you with?" because then I can say "Yes - I saw navy velvet low-heeled slingbacks on your website and want them in a size 6" and they can find them for me without me having to hunt, or tell me right away that they are out of stock.

If I am just browsing I can say that and they leave me alone.

I really don't see the problem.

People also bitch and moan when they CAN'T find someone to help them.

Honestly, if people are turning around and leaving a shop instantly because an assistant offered assistance, then they probably are better off shopping online.

I do feel sorry for shop workers if they get into trouble for not talking to people like me. I don’t want to get anyone into trouble. I think the management are actually deluded if they think it’s a reasonable way to behave towards employees.

Of course people can’t mind read. It’s the small talk and being pestered that’s the problem.

The deaf lady i served last year seemed to manage fine

I thought she was just a very quiet customer until her partner turned up and they started signing

But what would have happened if the deaf lady was by herself and you had been pulled into the office for not having interacted enough?

I do feel sorry for shop workers if they get into trouble for not talking to people like me.

And they do get in trouble, as people have repeatedly mentioned on here. I don't know that you're not a mystery shopper - and if I am mystery shopped and haven't approached that person, I fail and I will get a bollocking. Even if you're not a mystery shopper, if my manager repeatedly notices that I've failed to approach customers and I'll get hauled up into the office and disciplined for it.

Luckily I do approach every customer and the vast majority are absolutely lovely. Even if they don't want to talk (and that's fine, we don't expect everyone to want to talk), they're polite, smile and say "Hello/I'm fine thanks, just browsing" etc.

But what would have happened if the deaf lady was by herself and you had been pulled into the office for not having interacted enough?

We're not pulled up if the customer makes it clear they're not interested, but we ARE pulled up if we don't at least try to speak to them and get them involved in a conversation.

I think we all understand at this point that retail staff are forced to do this, but still mystified as to why the ones doing the enforcing think it’s a good idea?

Your guess is as good as ours, but they certainly won't pay attention to those at the coal face who are dealing with customers every day. What could we possibly know?

Okay, well I’ll take it that only people who are able to, or want to interact, can visit these shops and others - like myself - would be better advised to stay away.

This is the choice of management and there is no leeway. Okie dokie.

"This is the choice of management and there is no leeway. Okie dokie."

Now you're getting it! If that's the way you want to take it, then sure.

You mentioned being in a shop earlier on your lunch break; does that mean you have a job? So therefor are you not required to perform certain tasks as instructed by your management, so that you can keep your job?

Oh i see cottage

Sorry i bit stupid this morning

In my case it wouldn't be a problem

I said hello when she walked in...no reply or just a nod isnt unusual and i did say all the usual . Thats £70 please, could you put your card in the machine , thank you etc so i was being polite

But yes i see your point in one of these supermarkets that insist on chatting from its staff they may well have got into trouble

I AM A BIT STUPID THIS MORNING

thats what it should read

his is the choice of management and there is no leeway. Okie dokie

Ive said a number of times that it may well be worth contacting head office under the non inclusive banner

I just want to chime in and say that as an autistic person I actually quite like the prescribed interactions, not being pestered with unexpected questions but I like the almost scripted conversations "hello" "hello" "do you need any help?" "No thank you" etc etc. I know where I am with all that and understand that they have to do things like offering stuff at the till etc. I just have polite scripted answers although it does cause me some stress worrying about whether I got it right afterwards I can manage that alright.

I only have trouble when someone goes "off piste" and tries to go for random chit chat. Which is why I can't go to the hairdressers! I don't know what's coming.

I don't think retail assistants would get marked down for not getting you to talk about your holiday for example? Just if they don't ask their standard questions or are not helpful if you do engage.

It is maybe worth raising issues with a head office if a particular shop is inaccessible due to these issues.

I think we all understand at this point that retail staff are forced to do this, but still mystified as to why the ones doing the enforcing think it’s a good idea?
This. I know that people will be disciplined/sacked if they don’t do this shit.
I can understand that and still be irritated enough by it to leave/avoid certain shops.
I think because assistants are too busy jumping on people as soon as they walk in the door, when you say no, just browsing or whatever, then they leave you to it, but then if you do actually want help, they're nowhere to be found as they’re off accosting the people who have just walked in the door. It’s really counter productive and I don’t know where the powers that be get the idea that it’s good customer services, as the majority of people can’t stand the ‘hard sell’ approach. It’s baffling.

As ive said before the shop i work in isnt hard sell at all

But we did have someone very very pushy

Customers didnt complained

They probably stopped going!

but still mystified as to why the ones doing the enforcing think it’s a good idea?

Because someone in an office somewhere, who's never worked on a shop floor in their life, has decided that good customer services equates to talking to every single customer and haranguing them into buying things. They won't listen to anyone on the shop floor - they don't even listen to the shop managers who have to enforce all this bullshit even though it pisses people off.

Same here Woman, although I'm recently diagnosed, and it didn't bother me before I got a diagnosis. It's like I've only just realised I've been getting it wrong.

I'm recently diagnosed too PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks. I knew I struggled with this stuff before but didn't understand why! Suddenly having a framework for it has made me realise how much I do struggle! And I can now forgive myself for being fucking knackered after a shopping trip. And it's also helped me identify other things I find hard that I didn't realise, like short term memory for example... Just thought I was a bit thick despite getting a 1st class degree!

Sorry... wandering wildly off topic there!

Staff are obliged to do it, and hate it. I haven’t worked in retail for a few years, even when I did I wasn’t actually floor staff but had to cover a lot if we were short staffed. We also had to try and sell stuff at the till, try to talk people to opening ‘store’ (credit) cards, mention our deals and offers and any upcoming sales etc. Fucking hated every second, and so did everyone else. I once did a four hour stint of nothing but standing by the door to greet each and every customer coming into the shop. Retail sucks, try to be kind to the staff.

I don't blame the sales staff, but it's a really bad idea. In the old days of Anita Roddick I used to spend a fortune in The Body Shop. I'd go in for one thing and leave after browsing with at least ten! I don't go in there any more, I hate being pounced on. No wonder people but everything in supermarkets now.

Is there anyone on MN who does work at HQ level for a well known retailer who could tell their colleagues most shoppers hate the enforced jollity and to leave us alone - we'll ask if we need help? Will they listen to other people in their ivory tower?