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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Shop assistants asking if I need help

420 replies

blueskypink · 29/07/2018 18:34

I probably am just being an intolerant bitch but I wish shop assistants would just leave me alone.

If I'm standing in a shop looking around with a puzzled/confused expression THEN, by all means ask me if I need help. IF, however, I'm walking purposefully towards some merchandise, am deep in concentration studying a label or an item, or have literally just walked through the door (avoiding eye contact and keeping as far away from you as possible) could you please just leave me alone?

If I want your help I'll ask for it.

I also don't want someone saying hello as I cross a threshold and saying 'bye - thank you' when I leave 5 seconds later because I've realised very quickly it's not my sort of shop.

I presume assistants are obliged to do this? Or maybe everyone else likes this sort of attention and doesn't snarl the way I do? I'm being unreasonable aren't I? But after a day's shopping I just wanted to scream "leave me the fuck alone!!"

OP posts:
pineapplecrush · 29/07/2018 18:57

I've noticed more shops/stores ask than used to. I was in Debenhams yesterday and I was asked there, I remember being asked walking around Boots at Christmas. It is offputting! Trying to avoid eye contact with staff. Maybe with the high streets struggling it's done more.

fuzzywuzzy · 29/07/2018 18:57

When I worked in retail we had to do this.

As a sales assistant I did tell management that people didn’t like it.

But head office loved it and if we happened to smile make eye contact and say hello to a head office person who happened to walk in we got praised if not we got into trouble.

As a customer if you hate it write in and tell them.

I do mystery shopping and a big thing is made of sales assistants making eye contact smiling asking if they can help etc.

BigPinkBall · 29/07/2018 18:59

I’ve noticed in restaurants like Gourmet Burger Kitchen and Nando’s they put a peg or marker on your table and then take it away once they’ve interrupted your meal to ask if everything is ok, so now DH and I hide the marker as soon as they bring the food and they don’t bother us Grin

crocsaretoocoolforschool · 29/07/2018 19:00

blueskypink

The staff do feed it up to management -and then get told they are 'negative nellies' 'mood hoovers' or 'just not a team player'

Many people in retail are in very low hour contracts, extra hours are at management discretion -so would you annoy your store manager if your income depended on it?

Head offices conduct exit surveys which consistently say that customers like that level of service -what the office dwellers don't seem to realise is that customers like yourself don't stop and answer exit surveys Hmm

LittleCandle · 29/07/2018 19:01

Yes, we have to do it and management don't care if the feedback is that customers hate it. They make us do it to prove that we are doing our jobs properly and anyone who comes in could be the mystery shopper. Just say no thanks and get on with looking. We hate it, you hate it, but we have to do it.

KittyHawke80 · 29/07/2018 19:02

Why don’t you tell them, OP? You’re the one annoyed by it, Management might be slightly more inclined to listen to a customer than an employee, although it almost certainly won’t change anything.

AWomanIsAnAdultHumanFemale · 29/07/2018 19:02

So do any of you who work in retail ever feed back to management that people don't like it?

Yes but they ignore staff, what they take note of is customers feeding it back to them. So please do!

Dfg15 · 29/07/2018 19:03

I don't mind so much being asked if I need help, it's the 'are you alright there' that a lot of sales assistants ask. Makes me feel as if they think I don't look alright.

chemenger · 29/07/2018 19:03

Does anyone like this? I can’t imagine they do. I want assistants to be available if I want help, but I am more than capable of asking. There are shops that I used to go into for a look around which I now will only go to if I want something specific because of over anxious staff, they definitely have lost custom from me . Lush is the absolute worst.

Sparklesocks · 29/07/2018 19:05

blueskypink it’s usually not even management to be honest, it comes most often from head office and laid out as a policy. As a customer you are probably more likely to be listened to if you wanted to make a complaint.

I read about a shop which has different coloured baskets - one colour meant ‘please let me shop in peace’ and the other meant ‘please ask if i need help’. Meant the customer didn’t have to interact if they didn’t have to, but can’t remember the exact one it was now..

If you say ‘I’m ok for the moment. But I’ll ask if I need anything’ that should hopefully be enough Smile

HowIWishYouWereHere · 29/07/2018 19:06

The hello and goodbye, thank you is just good manners. If it’s a small shop and they see you come in, what do you want them to do? Ignore you? That’s just very poor manners. I hate being studiously ignored. It’s so awkward and unnatural to me.

I’m not mad on being asked if I need help all the time though, unless it’s somewhere they give great advice, like some off licenses / wine shops. But it still doesn’t make me Angry or anything...

MarthaArthur · 29/07/2018 19:07

Its part of the job. In reality we couldnt give a fuck if you needed help.

blueskypink · 29/07/2018 19:07

Head offices conduct exit surveys which consistently say that customers like that level of service -what the office dwellers don't seem to realise is that customers like yourself don't stop and answer exit surveys

I'm in my 50s, shop regularly and Have NEVER been asked to do an exit survey!

I think I might just email some of the shops I go to regularly and tell them how much I hate it. And how sorry I feel for assistants who are required to do this.

OP posts:
CigarsofthePharoahs · 29/07/2018 19:08

It was reported back repeatedly where I worked.
We were then handed a massive sash with CAN I HELP? written on it. We had to take turns wearing it for an hour and do nothing other than bother customers.
Did I say I'm very much ex retail? Wouldn't go back even if the wolf was in the door and admiring the hall carpet.

strawberrisc · 29/07/2018 19:09

When I went to a market in Turkey the stuff was so cheap I would have spent a fortune but having every marketholder screaming at me in searing heat I ended up buying nothing.

MarthaArthur · 29/07/2018 19:09

Posted too soon. I work in retail. Its shit. Customers are mostly rude to us. We want to just be there if someone asks us we dont want to approach people. The same complaints go on for years. Dont blame shop staff for doing their job.

ManicUnicorn · 29/07/2018 19:09

Shops are so out of touch with what people want. I actually stopped shopping at The Body Shop because of this. They would jump on you as soon as you walked through the door, comment on everything you looked at and then try to sell something else at the till. If I'd wanted a hand cream I'd have picked one up ffs! I find it invasive and pushy. So they've lost a customer because of it.

The other day I was in Boots. I had a No7 woman approach me to to prattle on about their foundations and suggest I come in for a colour test, then when I go to the till the sales assistant gave me the exact same spiel. 'Can I interest you in ourNo7 foundations'.

Leave. Me. Alone!!!

blueskypink · 29/07/2018 19:10

Its part of the job. In reality we couldnt give a fuck if you needed help.

I KNOW!!! That's the main reason why it's so bloody irritating!!!

OP posts:
FurryDice · 29/07/2018 19:10

As everyone has said it’s pretty standard and compulsory for the shop assistant to do this. Next time it pisses you off perhaps you could be a little more empathetic. They’re just doing their jobs.

Twodogsandahooch · 29/07/2018 19:12

I much prefer 'let me know if you need help' to 'do you need any help?'. Don't know why. Maybe because it makes you feel less of an idiot

PeakPants · 29/07/2018 19:15

OP, I used to work in a shop where not only was it mandatory, but we were told that we couldn't ask questions to which the customer could say yes or no!!!

So I would literally get told off for asking 'can I help you with anything?' or 'are you okay there?' Instead, I had to say 'what are you shopping for today?' and similar wank like that. It was ludicrous and wound customers up but I had no choice. I left as soon as I could. Have since heard that people actively avoid that store chain because of how they are pounced on.

pictish · 29/07/2018 19:17

Yanbu. This is SO annoying, pushy and intrusive. I KNOW retail staff are told to do it...I feel bad for them being forced into being a total annoyance...but that doesn’t stop it from making me feel prickly AF and like i want to leave the shop...and often do.

I don’t need retail staff to be servile in any way...knowledgeable is good if I DO want help or advice...but aservile, no. I don’t require that for a satisfactory shopping experience.

Bunchofdaffodils · 29/07/2018 19:18

Yes “let’s me know if you need any help” is good. Breaks the ice, welcoming.
I also avoid Body Shop (who’s products I love) because they are so intrusive- HATE it. I just want to look and think, not have a conversation.

Bluetrews25 · 29/07/2018 19:18

I was told that making eye contact and saying hello helped reduce shoplifting - you can't blame the shops for wanting to do that.

YaLoVeras · 29/07/2018 19:18

I hate it too. I often leave the second I'm asked if I'm ok.

I'd prefer if you made it obvious with their body language that you needed their assistance and they actually had half an eye out for that and caught your eye when you needed their assistance

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