Shop assistants asking if I need help

[blueskypink]

I probably am just being an intolerant bitch but I wish shop assistants would just leave me alone.

If I'm standing in a shop looking around with a puzzled/confused expression THEN, by all means ask me if I need help. IF, however, I'm walking purposefully towards some merchandise, am deep in concentration studying a label or an item, or have literally just walked through the door (avoiding eye contact and keeping as far away from you as possible) could you please just leave me alone?

If I want your help I'll ask for it.

I also don't want someone saying hello as I cross a threshold and saying 'bye - thank you' when I leave 5 seconds later because I've realised very quickly it's not my sort of shop.

I presume assistants are obliged to do this? Or maybe everyone else likes this sort of attention and doesn't snarl the way I do? I'm being unreasonable aren't I? But after a day's shopping I just wanted to scream "leave me the fuck alone!!"

I like shops with attentive but not overbearing assistants.
If they ask are you ok there then that's fine, it's when they linger and ask what you're looking for that irritates me.

Having said that when you do actually want their help there's ususlly none to be found.

Rufus - and? It was a supplementary observation as the discussion on the thread evolved.

blue

Obviously it was a supplementary comment

Its obviously fine to add extra information

But if i had had that information at the start i wouldnt have commented in the way i did as we would have been talking about two completely different things

There is obviously a difference between people saying hello as a matter of courtesy which i do and standing at the door to 'assault' random customers

There is no AND? No trick...just would have had a different response originally

But i think ill leavie it there...especially as ive got to go to work in half an hour

@blueskypink

"I probably am just being an intolerant bitch"

You answered your own question. HTH.

Why thanks Leighaj - me and about 90% of the other posters on here?

I’m with you OP, I know exactly what you mean/meant.
I can tell when someone working in the shop is giving me a genuine friendly hello, which is one thing, and perfectly nice and normal, and when they are not. When they are not it is fucking irritating. I don’t blame them personally, but I still find it irritating enough to leave if I’m asked more than once. I just want to look for a bit. If I look bewildered or confused by all means, ask if I need help. I don’t need your help the second I step foot in the shop.
I don’t know if people are being defensive here or genuinely don’t understand the difference.

I don’t know if people are being defensive here or genuinely don’t understand the difference

personally im not being defensive and I understand the difference

Im just talking about hello...of course its irritating being asked every five minutes do you need help

Bloody rarely happens to me...i can never find anyone to help!!

Off to work now...honestly

I did all sorts of shitty jobs as a student and yes, this is something you have to do in retail just like the way you’re expected to ask if someone wants a meal deal when you work at Greggs. Part of sales targets unfortunately and the staff hate doing it.

I've only skimmed the thread.

I have no objection to being greeted in a shop but prefer it if I don't.
I have no objection to be offered assistance but prefer it if it's only once.
I have no objection to having goodbye said to me as I leave.

I do object to being hovered over but, again, if their judgement is that I'm a potential shoplifter then it makes sense. Obviously, I know I'm not shoplifting - they don't.

However, I don't engage beyond a 'hello", "no thank you" or "yes, please" and "thank you". Manners cost nothing and it's not as if I'm being personally targeted so why would I take it personally?

Does it put me off? Not really, it's more likely their products that put me off!

I do feel a bit irritated that people always come on to say they’ve done retail in amongst other shitty jobs, usually when a student.
It’s not the best paying job certainly. Like any job it has pros and cons. I don’t think my career has been shitty over the last 30 years.

It's certainly not a shitty job, and hats off to anyone who can meet the demands of a modern retail business. I did it at a very low level as a student, but it has made me aware of always treating service and sales staff with courtesy, being on the receiving end of dismissive and rude behaviour!

I was never fond of it myself. However, I have found that by engaging pleasantly with retail staff I’ve built up quite a rapport. Some even know my name. In these cases, it’s not at all uncommon to score some pleasing discounts or be pointed toward ways to get an item shipped in from elsewhere.

You get lots more flies with honey than vinegar.

God, running, a library insisted you greet people on the way in .
Why do they imagine everybody wants to be acknowledged by all around them all the time when they’re happily going about their business?
I always do a double take when a roaming shop assistant greets me like a long lost friend when I walk into a shop. It creeps me out, actually, and depending on the mood I’m in it can lead to me walking straight back out again.

Ex retail floor staff & management here: YANBU in that it can be annoying & it's up to the culture of the shop to do it appropriately (Lush are VERY intrusive).

1. We're expected to greet you and see if you need help. You might be a mystery shopper & give us a shit score for not hitting "requirements".

2. You'd be amazed how many nervous nellies there are who actually need help but won't approach the staff.

3. NEVER greet someone who has just said "hello" or "good day" with "just looking thanks!" - they didn't ask you that. You're very rude and arrogant. If we have asked if you want help, "I'm ok thanks, I'm just browsing today, not right now but I'll let you know" are all civil responses. It's only fear of the sack that stops staff pointing out your rudeness & telling you to fuck off and die in a fire.

4. People who ignore a member of staff who is free to help or has been asked to float around the floor and check on everyone, but then go and address the bum of someone up a ladder or demand you cut short a txn to help them. You just seem a brat.

5. No point having a tantrum if you're greeted twice or asked by more than one person. Yes it's annoying but I haven't necessarily seen my colleague chat to you. I have to be sure you're not my MS for the month.

6. People who bite our heads off are still happy to dump their body weight in stock on us to put in a fitting room when they need help to carry it all.

7. Some people are incredibly nasty to teenagers just starting out & view it as their right to be vile.

8. Greeting & engaging shows we're watching and deters theft. If you've been really followed, so the assistant is right up in your face and not letting up, they probably think you're dodgy. At the very least, your face doesn't fit and they're not taking chances on you.

That said.... I don't believe on pestering people (I hate it as a customer) and usually found a greeting followed up by "are you getting on alright there" at least 5 mins later got good feedback, or "hello there, please let us know if you do want a hand" got positive results, as did working it into a conversation. I also always taught to thank people for their custom & apologise if they'd had to wait awhile and tried to pass these on to my staff. There is an art to making shop chat sound genuine or asking required questions in a way that isn't too pushy or robotic.

Why shouldn’t you say “Just looking, thanks” when you’re greeted by shop staff, DSHathaway? What on earth is rude and arrogant about that?
I would just assume they’re looking to see if they can they assist me in some way, because marching over just to say Hello is downright weird.
I’d avoid another customer who called out “Hello, how are you today?!” as well

My pet hate is the likes of Claires - 'we have these nail files on 2 for 1 today, would you like one?' etc. Drives me mad! I get it isn't the staffs' fault though.

In terms of the staff saying thank you when you leave, if I am in a small shop being watched by the staff, particularly a small independent shop - for some reason I feel the need to thank THEM as I leave empty handed, I have no idea what I am thanking them for - letting me in?

There seems to be a school of thought that the shopping experience is a kind of social occasion with you as the guest and the staff as the host?
I go shopping because I need to buy something; they’re working in the shop because they’re paid to do so.
We both know they don’t give a rats ass whether I have a good day now or not, so just bloody stop it.
I’m happy to smile and say thank you to the cashier as I leave, but I don’t want to hear their stilted, over rehearsed spiel that you’ve already heard them give to the person in front of you.

Iamgreyhound in what other situation would it acceptable to return a "hello" or "good afternoon" on it's own (I agree with you IF you're asked if you want help as well) with anything other than a "hello" or "good day" back?

Simply saying "I'm just looking thanks" back, if you haven't been asked, shows you haven't listened and you come across as thinking we're below you. It's the thing that pissed me off most in retail & most of my colleagues agreed. I'm really sorry that people feel the need to use it as defence mechanism, but you come across as arrogant.

usually found a greeting followed up by "are you getting on alright there" at least 5 mins later got good feedback

Now you see - rightly or wrongly - I would interpret that as, "you're taking your time. Do you need me to help you make some decisions?" I'd feel like I was under observation which would render me incapable of thinking properly. So I might well just leave at that point I'm afraid.

Another thing that I find irritating (and sorry Rufus, I didn't mention it in my op ) is when assistants try to take clothes off me to put in the changing room until I'm ready to try them on. I don't want to have to explain that I want to walk around the shop holding 2 or 3 skirts to see if I can find a top to go with any of them. White Stuff are obsessed with this and sometimes try and insist even after a polite refusal.

Also, given that most people work a floor, they'll greet you as you pass/as they pass. People floorwalk, empty rails, re-do standards etc. Looking, smiling and greeting as people enter the shop or your section is polite. You've been acknowledged and we've shown you're being watched if you are light of finger. I'd only ask someone if they wanted or help or anything in particular if they seem to be size hunting or choosing between items or look a bit stuck- then they are perfectly entitled to say "no thanks". Going up to greet someone just to then ask them if they've only been in the shop two seconds is forced & I hate it, too. But if you get marked on acknowledgement, you have to say something- so a minimum "hello there" is easiest.

You're entitled to say what you like though, as a customer, not everyone thinks & feels alike. Which is why I also tried NOT to talk off a stilted script.

@blueskypink, I see what you mean. I usually aimed to come across as "here if you need but offering an opportunity" as some people actually do wait to be asked. Honestly, just say no, most staff are usually relieved if they're busy!

I also know what you mean about the fitting rooms. I had a CEO who lived on the doorstep & was very hot on us doing this for people. I used to ask if people were laden or looking at lots of other stock & seemed to find holding another item got in the way of their browsing. I feel some stores can make you feel rushed into trying on.

Sadly, you can't even avoid this unwanted intrusion when shopping online either. It would be so easy to have a big box somewhere prominent on the page inviting people to click on it to sign up for your newsletter or for more info on a special promotion. However, the number of online retailers who shove a great big pop-up that stubbornly blocks the rest of the site until you get rid of it is extremely annoying.

The thing is, if the invitation were clearly present on the home page, waiting for you to respond in your own good time, I'm sure more people would sign up. The nature of pop-ups, though, is that they're an unwanted intrusion and an obstacle to what you're there for and your automatic reaction is to go into 'fly-swatting mode' by instantly clicking on the X in the corner to get rid of it without even bothering to look what it is.

And as for sites that keep pinging up rubbish in the corner, telling you that a customer in Abergavenny bought what you're looking at this morning or that somebody in Birkenhead is also currently looking at it?!?! Listen: you're the shop - that's very useful info FOR YOU; I'm an entirely different (potential) customer who could not care less, so why on earth are you telling me?!

My other connected gripe is retailers who, when you agree (or, more often, are signed-up by default) to receive 'further information', proceed to bombard you daily with pretty much non-info, often verging on the stalky, such as "You looked at this yesterday on our site. We really think you'd want to know that we still sell it". They don't seem to realise the blindingly obvious fact that if you send out a monthly email with actual sales-related news on it, people may well read it; if you send something every day or two, everybody will just unsubscribe completely and a potentially valuable contact is lost for good.

Oh, and companies that send you targeted adverts on every website that you visit for six months after you briefly looked at something. Surely, if you haven't bought it from them after a couple of weeks, you've almost certainly either got one from somewhere else or decided that you don't want or can't afford one after all, no?!

Agree with every part of your post, WeBuiltThisBuffet!
It’s interesting what you say about some people waiting to be asked, DSHathaway. That genuinely never occurred to me. Would they complain if you didn’t offer assistance?

@greyhound we certainly get people complaining that no one has spoken to them in the last 30 seconds and been there to attend to their every need. All this thread is teaching me is that retail staff will simply never win and there’s a lot of people who seem to look down on them just trying to do their job.

That’s incredible, standing there demanding to be waited upon...
I really can’t grasp why you’d do that.
I hope I haven’t given you the impression I look down on retail staff in any way?
I just hate people getting in my face unasked and hate that it’s forced upon staff. I wouldn’t be rude (intentionally), but I still hate it.