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AIBU?

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Original poster

Is it appropriate to wear a very very low cut wedding dress?

264 replies

mydogisthebest · 29/07/2018 16:35

A friend has posted photos of a wedding she went to yesterday. When I saw photos of the bride I actually felt quite shocked.

Her wedding dress was so low cut you could actually see part of her nipples. She was bursting out of the dress and it looked about 3 sizes too small.

It was a church wedding and I feel it was really inappropriate to wear such a dress. A non church wedding would not have been so bad although the dress would still have looked tacky

OP posts:
AynRandTheObjectivist · 30/07/2018 19:44

Hugh Hefner would probably not have settled for anything less.

TornFromTheInside · 30/07/2018 19:49

I suppose amongst the terrible grief, the odd showing of a nipple might elicit a 'Good Grief!' ;-)

Lockheart · 30/07/2018 19:53

Inappropriate choice for a church I think.

I'm not religious at all but when visiting churches or monasteries abroad I've put a maxi shirt over my shorts and used my scarf to cover my shoulders, but they often have shawls and so forth for visitors who don't have them. I want to visit their religious site so I respect their rules.

Surely if you want to get married in a church, you have to respect the venue and dress appropriately? That doesn't have to mean you cover yourself head to toe in burlap but it certainly means you can't get your tits out.

Hushhush89 · 30/07/2018 20:01

Why do you have to judge people for what they wear. What has it got to do with you... Don't understand why people have to moan about what others wear, if they feel comfortable in it then why not wear it....

Oh and you'll probably hate me then, I got married in a church, never went to any before and will never step foot in another one again unless it's for wedding/funeral...

GreatWesternValkyrie · 30/07/2018 20:13

I'm wondering if the odd nipple's ok at a funeral

Debretts suggests a single buttcheek only for funerals, to maintain a sense of dignity.

TornFromTheInside · 30/07/2018 20:15

Literally the last chance to say 'kiss my ass goodbye' ?

TornFromTheInside · 30/07/2018 20:16

Funerals are a time of forgiveness.
Turning the other cheek has taken on a whole new meaning!

DistanceCall · 30/07/2018 21:08

Showing your nipples is not on, no. Sounds like she is delusional about her size.

Ninaandme · 30/07/2018 21:11

It’s her day so surely it’s entirely up to her what she wears?

manaftermidnight · 30/07/2018 21:14

But it isn't entirely up to her. She's in a church, there are rules and expectations.

Seasawride · 30/07/2018 21:16

Gosh what a bitchy thread op.

Makes one wonder why you weren’t asked to the wedding?

Ninaandme · 30/07/2018 21:19

I’m not in any way religious so I’m not familiar with the rules of the church, however I do believe in live and let live. If all people have to worry about is the dress choice of a bride they know nothing about then they’re doing alright!

TornFromTheInside · 30/07/2018 21:28

What are the rules and expectations in a church? Sure we an all say 'to be respectful' - but what IS and what IS NOT ok?

Every member of a congregation will have a slightly different view on what's acceptable and what is not. And then we have to ask - 'acceptable to whom?' To them? to others? to God?

On that basis, I don't believe anybody can really define or draw the line on what's ok and what isn't.

Bunnyfuller · 30/07/2018 21:28

But God made nipples so surely he would be happy to see them in his house? ‘Even if I say so myself, those were a brilliant idea’.

SandyY2K · 30/07/2018 21:31

Doesn't sound classy to me. Nipples on show.

It says a lot about her personality I guess.

TornFromTheInside · 30/07/2018 21:33

There is an argument to say it's only human shame that causes us to hide our bodies. Not God (if one exists).
A woman's breasts are as natural as her eyes. We cover them because we've sexualised them and chosen to make them taboo in some way.

Mankind has chosen to make them private (like genitalia). Whether breasts warrant that treatment is another matter, but I don't believe IF there's a God, he'd be at all bothered by them.

perfectstorm · 30/07/2018 21:45

I'm just as entitled to my opinions as the next narrow-minded, cat'sbum-mouthed moralist.

Actually I don't think anyone has the right to call a woman a flappy-fannied trollop, no matter their clothing choices. People shouldn't speak in such a misogynist and horrible way, and they shouldn't slut-shame and denigrate. It's part of rape culture that they do, in fact, because revealing clothes translating into hateful, disgusted language about any woman scaffolds that stuff.

Really depressing for any woman to speak of another that way, but if you really are, as you claim, a lay minister then that makes it horribly worse.

thenightsky · 30/07/2018 21:48

Not RFT but has anyone posted this yet?

perfectstorm · 30/07/2018 21:49

Yes, twice.

thegreenheartofmanyroundabouts · 30/07/2018 21:57

As a priest in the C of E I've done a fair few weddings. There are no rules about what you can or cannot wear. If I meet the couple early enough I might suggest that they consider how cold a church can be and that something over the shoulders might be appropriate for warmth as bridesmaids blue and shivering are not a good look. Brides are generally running on adrenaline and can stay warm in the scantiest dress. I remember an early spring wedding and bridesmaids with nothing on their shoulders and silk dresses. Maybe we should have had hot water bottles for them. You couldn't tell where the teal dresses ended and the blue skin started....

TornFromTheInside · 30/07/2018 22:01

Thegreen... would you say in your experience that any bride has dressed deliberately provocatively (particularly sexually?)

Seasawride · 30/07/2018 22:02

perfectstorm

Totally

manaftermidnight · 30/07/2018 22:27

What are the rules and expectations in a church? Sure we an all say 'to be respectful' - but what IS and what IS NOT ok?

Don't have your baps out seems to be a pretty obvious don't.

nattygk · 30/07/2018 22:32

Fgs you can get nipple covers so absolutely no excuse to have nipples on show my wedding dress was lovely and absolutely everything was covered

TornFromTheInside · 30/07/2018 22:33

Don't have your baps out seems to be a pretty obvious don't.

They weren't out though were they?
She wasn't topless.

Af far as we can gather, her cleavage was ample and there may have been a glimpse of areola/e, albeit accidentally.

So, how much cleavage IS ok? 1 inch, 2 inch? How short a skirt is acceptable? Who is deciding these rules?
They don't seem to be written down.