Is it appropriate to wear a very very low cut wedding dress?

[mydogisthebest]

A friend has posted photos of a wedding she went to yesterday. When I saw photos of the bride I actually felt quite shocked.

Her wedding dress was so low cut you could actually see part of her nipples. She was bursting out of the dress and it looked about 3 sizes too small.

It was a church wedding and I feel it was really inappropriate to wear such a dress. A non church wedding would not have been so bad although the dress would still have looked tacky

I find that very hard to believe. What type of christian? I'm not a christian but its not something obscure, its common knowledge.
It's not the Vatican though is it? Just a Christian. I go to a normal church, in the past I've been to an Anglican church, a Baptist church....I've never heard of a dress code. Or that being covered up generally (or otherwise) is a particular part of Christianity.

You've never heard the expression 'Sunday best' for people who dressed up for church.
I have. Not as a rule though. As for all the stuff about other countries, I assumed we were talking about a wedding in the UK. If there were clear rules as there might be in other countries, or in Mosques, then clearly its disrespectful to ignore them. Never heard of or seen the hat thing, I've worn hats in to churches. In fact I think I might have led parts of services in hats

Most Churches these days are pretty relaxed about dress. You will find people wearing shorts, t shirts, jeans and in the summer, strapped tops, flip flops etc etc - pretty much the same as you'd see anywhere on a summer day - you don't usually see people with their nipples out except possibly on a beach, but apart from that, there is no dress code in most churches.

As I said before, perhaps those who don't go to Church imagine there is a strict dress code or that Christians will be tutting about a bit of cleavage, but actually most churches will be very relaxed.

People often worry about dress codes in settings which they are not familiar with. Sometimes people ask what is appropriate for going to Court, or a funeral or a certain meeting at work, or at the races, or in a corporate hospitality setting. Actually those who are snooty about dress tend to be those who don't go very often and the old hands are very much laid back. I still think most people would be surprised to see nipples anywhere in public, including a wedding, but the idea that a church wedding requires lots of covering up, isn't quite right. Look at what guests wear too - lots of weddings now have guests in all manner of tight, short, low cut outfits - might not be everyone's taste, but is pretty widespread.

Would you like your DP (say) to receive an intimate examination by a doctor with her boobs hanging out of her top? Or your child to be taught by a teacher in a "mankini"?

If we're discussing appropriate conduct by professionals in a position of authority and trust - which a bride is not - then I'd class it alongside a minister talking about a member of the flock, based solely on her dress choice no less, with the phrase, "slack fannied trollop". And at least those people aren't in the habit of claiming greater moral authority as the sole foundation of their role.

See, this is the thing: the church is meant to be a place people go to have a relationship with God. It's not a professional setting. It's a place people go to seek spiritual solace and fellowship. Some will take advantage of the setting, but that's an opportunity for outreach - it's not meant to be an exclusive club, is it. And as soon as you start saying or even thinking that certain sorts of people are good and classy enough and others aren't, then by definition you are being unChristian. Lepers had their feet washed by Christ. He defended a woman taken in adultery. So a gleeful, sniggering mockery of someone who is, "classless" "common as muck" "had her tits out" because she wore a dress a few sizes too small on her wedding day, and then saying the outrage is because she was in a Church and it's awfully important to respect Christian values... well, speaking that way about someone, laughing at them and denigrating them as comprehensively and contemptuously as has been done here isn't respecting any Christian values I recognise. It's incredibly ironic, actually.

It's completely reasonable to talk to a bride before the big day and explain that you would like a dress code of X Y or Z if that matters to you. That's fine. Cultural traditions are important, and indications of respect within a culture are of value. That's very, very different to a bunch of people gleefully competing to see who can be the most spiteful about a bride, and who can make the most vindictive remarks.

It's really sad that it's necessary to explain this to a member of the clergy. Again, I think some spiritual direction is necessary because this isn't walking in the Light.

"Never heard of or seen the hat thing, I've worn hats in to churches. In fact I think I might have led parts of services in hats"

Um, yes, that's what I said. Hats are traditional for women in churches though not compulsory. I don't keep mine on.
Men take theirs off though. (Quakers don't and maybe some other denominations).

"I've never heard of a dress code. Or that being covered up generally (or otherwise) is a particular part of Christianity."

I'm just not sure I believe that.

"You will find people wearing shorts, t shirts, jeans and in the summer, strapped tops, flip flops etc etc - pretty much the same as you'd see anywhere on a summer day "

Must be a very modern building if you can wear flip flops. Stone churches are always cold, even in the summer.
I've seen t-shirts and jeans, but only seen vest tops and shorts on tourists.

Or that being covered up generally (or otherwise) is a particular part of Christianity.

Paul is the prime reason why women wore hats - his letter to the Corinthians is often cited. Right up until the about the 1970's many women would wear hats to church.

I really can't muster up any moral outrage about what a woman or man wears on their wedding day, it's their day, I'm most definitely not going to call it tacky or classless It's not hurting anyone, it really is just a nipple. To me if I am at someone's wedding, I am a friend or relative and therefore I'm too busy enjoying their wedding to care about what they wear, I would judge a hell of a lot more for some of the vile comments on this thread than I ever would for showing some boob. At worst a low cut dress is a poor judgement call, but if I overheard people talking like this in real life I would think they were an unpleasant person and I know what I'd rather be.

I'm assuming tbh this woman didn't mean to have her nipples on show, purely because it's an unlikely fashion choice. Nipples are fine for babies to get up close and personal with, I always think how long babies spend staring at boobs and nipples, but at some point it becomes inappropriate for them to see nipples or breasts, which is quite funny if you think about it.

I can't muster up any concern for someone who gets upset at seeing a nipple and feel like they need to see more to acclimitise them to a perfectly normal bit of body.

"Right up until the about the 1970's many women would wear hats to church."

It didn't stop in the 1970s! As I said, many older women still wear hats to church.

I've seen brides like this as a photographer and I don't like it. A bride looks so much more lovely a bit more covered.

Yes, the covering hair thing that Paul wrote. I forgot about that. But, again, I don't think the OP was expressing outrage about the lack of a veil, the bride may well have been wearing one.

This thread has made The Sun

Your so rude, it’s her special day so she should be able to wear what she wants without being judged

Let's be more supportive of our fellow women
Judging by how bitchy women are to each other on here that's never gonna happen. As if women are all nice to each other in real life too. All that "sisterhood" talk is bullshit.