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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is it appropriate to wear a very very low cut wedding dress?

264 replies

mydogisthebest · 29/07/2018 16:35

A friend has posted photos of a wedding she went to yesterday. When I saw photos of the bride I actually felt quite shocked.

Her wedding dress was so low cut you could actually see part of her nipples. She was bursting out of the dress and it looked about 3 sizes too small.

It was a church wedding and I feel it was really inappropriate to wear such a dress. A non church wedding would not have been so bad although the dress would still have looked tacky

OP posts:
TornFromTheInside · 30/07/2018 00:15

God hates cleavage and boobs!!!

The devil's work. Has to be!

lazyminimoo · 30/07/2018 00:54

I dont think it looks good an is strange to have them hanging out lol Iv never seen anyone dress like that for a wedding or anything haha

AllTheNameChanges · 30/07/2018 01:55

Personally I think any dress which involves nipples showing is a bad move and I've never seen one that looks good imo. Cleavage is fine but if you can see nipples you've crossed a line into trashy, regardless of the occasion or venue

familywoes9 · 30/07/2018 06:31

@TornFromTheInside why not start your own anti religion thread? Why hi jack this one?

OP not appropriate, time and place and wedding is not one!

mydogisthebest · 30/07/2018 06:39

It wasn't a strapless dress. The top had thin straps. It looked a bit like a lacy bra at the top. The cups were very low so literally across her nipples and where the top looked too small her boobs were pushed up and out so you could just about everything.

I also don't agree with getting married in a church if you never go but that's a whole different matter. It used to be that you could only get married in a church or register office but as now you can married just about anywhere I don't see why couples get married in church if not the slightest bit religious.

OP posts:
lovesugarfreejelly63 · 30/07/2018 06:50

I am not sure why couples get married in church if not the slightest bit religious either. Is it for the photos perhaps? looks good on the sideboard in years to come. Imagine walking down the aisle (passing your parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles) in a dress perhaps not quite suitable within the confines of a church. Respect that's the key word.

NashvilleQueen · 30/07/2018 07:09

Without seeing the dress:

  1. If a wedding dress which intentionally shows nipples is worn to a church wedding then I think that is clearly inappropriate. I anticipate that it would potentially embarrass/offend the vicar or priest officiating together with anyone in the congregation who is (devoutly) religious. I agree with the sentiment that you should recognise that going for a church service means you have to accept the convention. I hold that view regardless of whether the bride’s dress was the right size or not and whatever her dress size and body shape.
  2. If it was an inadvertent flashing of nipple which the bride wasn’t aware of or couldn’t do anything about and is now mortified about then I feel very sorry for her and hope that it didn’t ruin her wedding day.
TornFromTheInside · 30/07/2018 07:25

@TornFromTheInside why not start your own anti religion thread? Why hi jack this one?

Read the thread. Who said I'm anti religion?
I didn't bring up religion, other posters did. They said the dress was not appropriate in a church because it was not respectful to the church. It's not hijacking a thread, it's questioning the rationale behind saying it's offensive to God.

TornFromTheInside · 30/07/2018 07:30

From the description, it sounds more like a poorly fitted dress than some overt sexual thing. Mist of the churchgoers would be wedding guests, and one would to believe they were more interested in the happiness of their friends than the nature of her dress.
How people can assume the bride had no respect for the church or her partner is beyond me. We don't know a thing about her, let alone her values.

familywoes9 · 30/07/2018 08:53

@TornFromTheInside you started on about historic abuse, that's irrelevant to this thread and de railing it!

Go start your own thread!

ChocolateWombat · 30/07/2018 09:51

It's a personal choice. Personally I wouldn't be wearing a dress letting my boobs hang out at a wedding or anywhere else, but it is a choice of some people to do so.
There are social conventions, one of which is being a little modest as bride I a Church. Everyone is free to stick to or ignore social conventions as they see fit and if they ignore them, there may well be a little eyebrow raising, but if you don't mind this, you can do what you like. I guess some people are perhaps a little unaware of some social conventions and so unintentionally do something that doesn't fit with them. Sometimes those people are mortified when they realise, other people don't really care and others are glad to have broken or challenged a convention. In the end it is your own free choice to behave as you wish in a situation like this and your own choice about whether to care and be bothered that others might be surprised or critical of your choice.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 30/07/2018 09:56

Of course anyone can wear what they like - but IMO it's still tacky and inappropriate for a church wedding. And for that matter, tacky for any wedding IMO. But then some people do like that look.

IrmaFayLear · 30/07/2018 10:17

Agree, gettinglikemymother,

Who would want to be a laughing stock? No one is going to be saying, “Oh, what a lovely dress” which is presumably a bride’s wish after dropping £££££ on a one-wear only item.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 30/07/2018 10:27

That's missing the entire point. The whole point of their religion is their belief in God. A low cut dress might be an affront to their God, but nowhere near as much as making a vow before a God you don't believe in!

Oh - I agree! The problem is, no-one can enter someone's mind and say "Here - you're lying about believing in God!', even though you may know they don't believe"

However, you can look at a dress and think "What sort of slack-fannied trollope wears that on her wedding day IN A CHURCH?!"

It IS about respect for the beliefs of those people who have a faith.

Unfortunately CofE churches do not get the option of refusing to marry a couple if one of them is on the electoral role of the parish - and for the person who posted previously saying the churches were hypocritical because they were happy to take the money - it costs a HELL OF LOT to heat a church. Bell-ringers have to be paid (Would you do it for nothing? No? Well, neither will they.), flowers ladies don't usually charge for their time, but if the bride decides not to have her own flowers, most churches still will make the effort to have appropriate (ie white) flowers available for a wedding and the flowers aren't cheap. Vergers and organists have to be paid (organists are a dying breed, and aren't cheap) Similarly if there is a choir, they get a small remuneration.

It amazes me that people who are prepared to pay £000's for a dress and more 000's for the reception and even more £000's for the honeymoon, get very arsey over a couple of hundred quid for the use of a church. they seem to think it should be free.

Anyway - rant over.

Wear what the hell you like to a non-church wedding - look as slutty as you want in the name of being "sexy"; but if it's a wedding in a religious house of NAY faith/ denomination, please respect the fact that you are in a sacred space - even if you don't give a monkey's about it yourself, other people do. Show some respect

SchadenfreudePersonified · 30/07/2018 10:29

*ANY faith, not NAY - over-enthusiastic ranting. Sorry Grin

TornFromTheInside · 30/07/2018 10:34

Slack fancied trollop has to be someone's future username

TornFromTheInside · 30/07/2018 10:35

*fannied

HopeNovember2017 · 30/07/2018 12:42

This picture is from a Daily Mail article in 2015 - you can see it on Pinterest...

HopeNovember2017 · 30/07/2018 12:45

Oh haha - soz, I thought that was a pic of the ACTUAL dress!!

Grin
perfectstorm · 30/07/2018 16:31

However, you can look at a dress and think "What sort of slack-fannied trollope wears that on her wedding day IN A CHURCH?!"

Someone thinking that and simultaneously claiming to be a Christian has one massive plank in their eye.

Totally agree on people being willing to shell out insane sums on weddings and then huff and puff over being expected to pay for the church's overheads, though.

Lozz22 · 30/07/2018 17:38

Christ she’s lucky she didn’t have the vicar I had marrying her!! I wasn’t even allowed to wear my veil over my face when I got married 11 years ago!! He vicar even asked me if my dress was appropriate. It was it long but strapless although in all fairness my tits did keep popping out too because the top of the bodice didn’t fit properly!! Thankfully not in the church though otherwise I think the vicar would’ve had a heart attack!!

EBDH · 30/07/2018 17:38

Pics or it didn't happen.

Lozz22 · 30/07/2018 17:39

the vicar not He vicar!!!!

cricketmum84 · 30/07/2018 17:43

Is it appropriate to publicly slate the wedding dress choice of a woman who you don't know and who's wedding you didn't attend?

Get over it. You must not have many interesting things to do at the moment... how about taking up crochet?

ThePrioryGhost · 30/07/2018 17:43

Are you the dog referred to in your user name, OP? Only this sounds like a very bitchy thread!