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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour does not like the look of my garden - threatening to sue

566 replies

craxmum · 29/07/2018 10:03

A new neighbour has moved in last month (we are sharing a wall in a semi-detached property). She seems to have a major issue with the way my garden looks (just paid me a visit at 7am on Sunday to inform me that she hasn't slept properly since she had a party last night and her guests were apparently "aghast"). First thing she did after moving in was decking and astroturfing her back garden fence to fence (the bits that weren't already covered in concrete).

She did mention it a couple of times before, but I never thought it bothers her that much. Now she made a vague threat of suing me for damage to her assets, as apparently her house value and enjoyment of her property is impacted. I mean, she bought it a couple of weeks ago (at the normal market value as far as I can see from the open sources), surely she made the decision with full awareness of what my garden looks like? She added a couple of personal insults (about me being foreign etc) as well.

My garden is a bit informal allotment style. We grow berries, tomatoes, courgettes, peppers, beans, herbs - stuff like that, also have a couple of dwarf fruit trees. Sunflowers all over the place at the moment. I have two small children (3 and 5), they absolutely love it and they have their own little experimentation areas. There is a bit of lawn, but with two dogs it is not in great shape - trimmed, but with some bald patches. There is an occasional weed or two, or maybe ten. Plenty of butterflies and bees. A composter (of a posh type, fully closed and maintained, not leftovers rotting in a bin). There is a water butt and sometimes watering cans / other gardening equipment lying around. I mean, it is by no means perfect, and can sometimes be messy and looks quite rustic, but I absolutely cannot see what I can do to comfort her apart from ripping all vegetation out and paving over.
AIBU?

OP posts:
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Xenia · 30/07/2018 22:32

I htink the fence sounds like a good idea - if she cannot see over then it won't affect her. She has no right to do anything. There was someone near us who decades ago had some dispute with neighbours and then left his garden for 30 years untouched! Only when he was bed bound (he died recently sadly) did his children get the chance to get some gardeners in (although most of it you couldn't see from the road anyway so it didn't really matter).

I have lovely brambles over my front hedge on part of it which I bet some people think look messy but the bees love the flowers and at the moment I got out once a day and pick and eat blackberries straight off the bushes.

MumW · 30/07/2018 22:39

I'm aghast! Astro turf is crass and decking is sooooo last century!
Not sure I will be able to sleep with the knowledge that there is some 'foreigner' who thinks this is what we do.

Your garden sounds lovely. Get a few delphiniums / foxglove / hollyhocks / marigolds and then it will be as quintessentially English as it comes.

mylifestory · 30/07/2018 22:44

If she says shes going to sue you agree with her and smile. Then forget about it. Nothing will come of it and you have kept good neighbour relations. if she persists say you don't like hers either!

Lynne1Cat · 30/07/2018 22:52

She's a nutter....7am?! I'd have told her to fuck right off, there and then. Mental twat. Carry on with whatever you want in your own garden.

Leapfrog44 · 30/07/2018 22:56

Is this for real?? She't totally freaking crazy. You'll have the last laugh when the shit hits the fan and people need to start producing their own food. She be climbing your wall to steal tomatoes.

Your garden sounds exactly what a garden should be. Good for pollinating insects, birds and other wildlife and good for your kids to learn how to take care of them.

StrangeLookingParasite · 30/07/2018 22:57

To all the suggestions of chickens, they're lovely, but if you really want to drive her mad, get a peacock. Those bastards are so loud.

SholaHammer · 30/07/2018 23:00

I'm onboard with the scarecrow idea but can we also add some gnomes, meerkats and other things to horrify her

Polly2345 · 30/07/2018 23:04

Not read the full thread but I want your garden OP. It sounds lovely.

heartsease68 · 30/07/2018 23:10

OP, you really need to get some hens. I think you would enjoy them.

heartsease68 · 30/07/2018 23:11

Ah, others have also thought of hens...

CantGetDecentNickname · 30/07/2018 23:16

A peacock sounds perfect, after all, she likes to get up early. Seriously, I would document everything she says, pull out your phone and point out that you are recording if she knocks on your door again. Tell her that she does not have legitimate business with you if she is merely coming round to harass you and is therefore trespassing on your property. Fit a security camera or lights that come on when you pass a sensor, in case she trespasses at any other time - she does sound a bit batshit and you don’t know what else she might come up with to do. Harassing and insulting your neighbours after only living in a place for a few weeks is not normal. Also recommend a 2m high fence so you don’t have to look at her. Your garden sounds great by the way.

Mossandclover · 30/07/2018 23:20

I assume you aren’t cultivating Japanese knotweed, Himalayan Balsam or Giant knotweed?

Mossandclover · 30/07/2018 23:20

*Giant hogweed

cheval · 30/07/2018 23:43

Love the sound of your garden and your girls. Keep on doing what you are doing so well. And keep a note of her harassment vibes and claims. 7am is too early. And saying you are foreign! What an ignorant woman. She’s just moved in, too. Ignore and keep a r ecord

toria6118 · 31/07/2018 00:27

Your garden sounds fabulous! Get some chickens and a beehive. My garden is full of flowers and a few produce plants. She needs to pull the rod out of her arse or go and crawl back under her rock.

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 31/07/2018 01:10

Send this letter:
"Dear X, on (date) you threatened me with legal action for reason I consider, and have continued to do so on (dates and time). You have also made remarks about my origins. Under the Protection from Harassment Act this may be deemed "a course of conduct". I will if necessary seek civil remedy, and/or involve the police if this conduct continues. If action becomes necessary, be aware that you are legally required to inform future purchasers of your property of it. I will not warn you again."

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 31/07/2018 01:11

Insert "spurious" after "consider".

strawberrisc · 31/07/2018 06:35

New neighbours deciding to stick their beaks in are the worst!

SavoyCabbage · 31/07/2018 06:54

I hope the rats that will be nesting under her decking don't eat the fruits growing on your beautiful garden.

twoshedsjackson · 31/07/2018 08:24

You mentioned that, early on, when she was being overly friendly, she ranted on about her husband. I suspect that, even if you took what she said with a pinch of salt, you did not dispute her description, but made sympathetic noises...........I suspect that her "aghast" friends were acting in a similar way. They probably wondered quite what she was so het up about, but as guests in her house, murmured sympathetically, which she took to mean that they agreed completely.
Overly friendly to 7am Sunday morning rant is a huge mood swing and she clearly has issues, and as PPs have suggested, it may have been residual Dutch courage. She'll either realise she's embarrassing herself, or possibly implode when she realises the futility of her current course of action.

jocarter67 · 31/07/2018 08:33

She added a couple of personal insults (about me being foreign etc) as well.

I’m horrified at hearing this, I imagine that it isn’t your garden at all she’s worried about. Please please don’t let her get away with insults towards you or your family and children, that behaviour cannot be allowed. Your garden sounds really lovely, great way to teach the children

BMW6 · 31/07/2018 09:00

For those who have missed OP's update

a further meeting with neighbour has confirmed that neighbour has MH and possible substance abuse issues

Just keep her at arms length OP and be ready to ring 101 if she comes out with any more racist shit.

NaiceHamble · 31/07/2018 09:09

I would nod and say, 'Sorry to correct you but since we're on the topic of what's 'English' and what's not, I think you meant to say your guests were ghastly, not 'aghast'? As is your garden, funnily enough haha!'

NaiceHamble · 31/07/2018 09:10

Whoops, sorry, missed that update. In which case, do NOT do the above...

Rollonweekend · 31/07/2018 09:14

Your garden sounds so much nicer than hers to me.