Neighbour does not like the look of my garden - threatening to sue

[craxmum]

A new neighbour has moved in last month (we are sharing a wall in a semi-detached property). She seems to have a major issue with the way my garden looks (just paid me a visit at 7am on Sunday to inform me that she hasn't slept properly since she had a party last night and her guests were apparently "aghast"). First thing she did after moving in was decking and astroturfing her back garden fence to fence (the bits that weren't already covered in concrete).

She did mention it a couple of times before, but I never thought it bothers her that much. Now she made a vague threat of suing me for damage to her assets, as apparently her house value and enjoyment of her property is impacted. I mean, she bought it a couple of weeks ago (at the normal market value as far as I can see from the open sources), surely she made the decision with full awareness of what my garden looks like? She added a couple of personal insults (about me being foreign etc) as well.

My garden is a bit informal allotment style. We grow berries, tomatoes, courgettes, peppers, beans, herbs - stuff like that, also have a couple of dwarf fruit trees. Sunflowers all over the place at the moment. I have two small children (3 and 5), they absolutely love it and they have their own little experimentation areas. There is a bit of lawn, but with two dogs it is not in great shape - trimmed, but with some bald patches. There is an occasional weed or two, or maybe ten. Plenty of butterflies and bees. A composter (of a posh type, fully closed and maintained, not leftovers rotting in a bin). There is a water butt and sometimes watering cans / other gardening equipment lying around. I mean, it is by no means perfect, and can sometimes be messy and looks quite rustic, but I absolutely cannot see what I can do to comfort her apart from ripping all vegetation out and paving over.
AIBU?

Oh blimey how did that conversation go? Why do you think that she has "issues" suggested?

I’m so sorry that you’ve clearly landed someone so rude and bonkers as a new neighbour!

Your garden sounds lovely - and massive!! I honestly thought you were going to say you’d been burning waste or have an old boat on bricks!!!

I agree with others - keep a diary, just in case, especially regarding any insults to being foreign.

I’d just try and nice her out next time you see her, that will really piss her off!!!

So what did she say? Was she apologetic?

You’re being far too discreet and reasonable for us, OP

Could she have OCD or similar mental issue? Her garden sounds very sterile - apart from the rat potential under the decking!!

Your garden sounds lovely and hers sounds horrible.
So great that your children have fun in the garden and a chance to grow things and see that they can grow food that they eat.

Quite frankly if anyone should be upset about what their neighbours garden looks like - Astro & concrete, yuk! Not environmentally friendly at all.

. As a person with serious MH issues. I feel I can say this...There are too many excuses used for peoples behavior now a days. I don't go around threatening people.

Our neighbours are like this. I wish I could blame coke addiction or MH problems, but I really think they're just whiny bastards.

DH offered to increase the height of the fence so they couldn't see our garden, the dogs or DH's polytunnel, but they said it would block the light to their conservatory and refused.

The soft fruit from the tunnel this year has been superb and they've had none of it.

Yanbu.

you need a bucket with a lid some pulled up stinging nettles. Place nettles in water & leave - and leave- and let them ferment to make beautiful liquid manure for your plants & if lid is left open a most wonderous stink...very organic & natural

@mumsastudent: Nah! Comfrey's much stinkier. Comfrey's da bomb!

I wouldn't go there, OP. She may twist it against you, e.g. that you're harassing her. She isn't right in her head remember.

We currently have a bee crisis and if we lose the bees for good our eco system will die, as a species we can survive less than a decade if this happens. Your garden sounds like a haven for bees, hers provides naff all therefore she is a thick twat. Ask her what exactly she is doing to prevent this real life crisis and why what she feels is aesthetically pleasing is more important than all life on Earth. She’s a complete cockwomble xx

“we don't do this in Britain in case if you did not know".
Do you think she could have been referring to the mixture of productive and ornamental plants? I gather the ‘potager’ garden was originally a French invention

Ironically do you know what is the most "unBritish" thing in that exchange? Knocking on a stranger's door at 7am on a Sunday morning to have an angry rant at them, make threats etc. I think you could provoke quite a lot of Brits to slap you by doing this, even naice ones

Just ignore her, she is crazy. England used to be renowned for its beautiful gardens, and people really took pride with tending to their garden. Her sort of garden is ultra modern, and a lot of people are having low maintanance gardens as they can't be arsed, she sounds jealous. She wants the garden but not the work.

Allotments are a grand British tradition. But with insufficient allotments to go round, quite a lot of people use some of their garden as an allotments type area.

Oh, for the record, tomatoes, courgettes, beans, peas, carrots, beetroot, cabbages, salad leaves, strawberries, raspberries, blackberries, white currants, blackcurrants, gooseberries, tayberries, loganberries, lots of different herbs (over 10 varieties just of mint)...all in my garden. The neighbours, who are also British? Offered to do some watering when I go on holiday.

Your garden sounds/looks delightfully British to me. And I bet it smells gorgeous when it's just rained, then the sun comes out. And is good for local bees.

You need a hive. And zombie gnomes.

www.amazon.co.uk/s/?hvlocphy=9045334&hvptwo&hvnetw=g&keywords=zombie+gnome&hvadid=259071205576&index=aps&hvpone&ref=pd_sl_7d6srg4be4_e&hvlocint&hvpos=1t1&hvdev=t&hvdvcmdl&hvqmt=e&tag=mumsnetforum-21&ie=UTF8&hvtargid=kwd-354486677247&adgrpid=55703446520&hvrand=16284446341726904417

Just another chiming in to say your garden is gorgeous, and you sound kind and patient. Anyone should be absolutely thrilled to have you (and your fantastic garden) as a neighbour

Put up a scarecrow, made in her image

I would not buy a house next door to a garden full of astroturf and concrete.

Unbelievable

Mere From the Harrod's Book of Entertaining published in 1986. I got married then, and couldn't cook, but had to do dinner parties at times, and that recipe was a godsend, as even I could cope with it and it went down well.

I thought it polite to acknowledge whose recipe it was on here. You might think it's a classic combination, some people I've fed it to over the past 32 years wouldn't have thought of putting nectarines and raspberries together; I tend to eat nectarines like apples where they are in the shops, or bake them with crushed amaretti biscuits and sugar and a bit of cinnamon or speculoos spice. Raspberries just need to be applied to mouth straight from the punnet.

Not everyone can cook when they first start out, so simple things that taste good, and it's difficult to go wrong with are confidence boosters. It's easy to be snotty about what constitutes a recipe when you've been cooking for decades. You only need to watch the Jamie Oliver Ministry of Food programmes to realise that there are loads of people who live off ready meals, frozen processed food or takeaways, as they are scared to try to cook. Simple recipes that encourage baby steps in cooking are a win win for me if it gets more people in the kitchen.

I am British and I spent yesterday making jam and chutney to use up a glut from our urban (London) garden.
(I left the courgettes for about 3 seconds to long and they were half way to marrows)

I haven't read the full thread, but OP your garden looks lovely, and we 100% do still do this in Britain! My mum's garden is full of things growing (especially vegetables but other things too) and paving over your garden and covering it with plastic grass is just not normal.

I'm so glad for your children that they will have a lot of opportunity to see how things grow and where their food comes from. What a great gift to give them in their lives!