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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour does not like the look of my garden - threatening to sue

566 replies

craxmum · 29/07/2018 10:03

A new neighbour has moved in last month (we are sharing a wall in a semi-detached property). She seems to have a major issue with the way my garden looks (just paid me a visit at 7am on Sunday to inform me that she hasn't slept properly since she had a party last night and her guests were apparently "aghast"). First thing she did after moving in was decking and astroturfing her back garden fence to fence (the bits that weren't already covered in concrete).

She did mention it a couple of times before, but I never thought it bothers her that much. Now she made a vague threat of suing me for damage to her assets, as apparently her house value and enjoyment of her property is impacted. I mean, she bought it a couple of weeks ago (at the normal market value as far as I can see from the open sources), surely she made the decision with full awareness of what my garden looks like? She added a couple of personal insults (about me being foreign etc) as well.

My garden is a bit informal allotment style. We grow berries, tomatoes, courgettes, peppers, beans, herbs - stuff like that, also have a couple of dwarf fruit trees. Sunflowers all over the place at the moment. I have two small children (3 and 5), they absolutely love it and they have their own little experimentation areas. There is a bit of lawn, but with two dogs it is not in great shape - trimmed, but with some bald patches. There is an occasional weed or two, or maybe ten. Plenty of butterflies and bees. A composter (of a posh type, fully closed and maintained, not leftovers rotting in a bin). There is a water butt and sometimes watering cans / other gardening equipment lying around. I mean, it is by no means perfect, and can sometimes be messy and looks quite rustic, but I absolutely cannot see what I can do to comfort her apart from ripping all vegetation out and paving over.
AIBU?

OP posts:
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10
FlyingMonkeys · 30/07/2018 18:07

There's been an increase of astroturf being stolen by thieves. I'd definitely have let that one sink into her brain.

Bluntness100 · 30/07/2018 18:15

Ive just found your photo too, your garden is indeed lovely.

You've already identified she may have some personal problems, so stay polite but distant.

FoodologistGirl · 30/07/2018 18:16

Your garden sounds lovely, really environmental. Growing your own food is such a great idea too. I also grow fresh herbs and a bit of veg for cooking. It’s lovely that your kids are getting involved too. She clearly doesn’t garden and realise that a healthy garden will grow, weed and all. Maybe she should have brought a flat. She does sound a little racist though. Keep a diary in case she gets nasty and i’d put a scarecrow that looks like her up too!

Smudge100 · 30/07/2018 18:19

She obviously doesn‘t realise that a solicitor will charge her £130 per hour plus VAT just to tell her she doesn‘t have grounds to sue. And what does she expect you to do about being foreign? You could advise her that if she knocks on your door again at 7am on a sunday morning and makes threats about legal action or refers to your ethnic origins you will make a complaint to the police of harassment. It all depends how you want to play it. It would work with people and shut them up, with others it might make them worse.

Jamontoast123 · 30/07/2018 18:21

Let her sue !
Let her take it to court .
Then WATCH her loose !
Then watch her have to pay the horrendous court fees !
Hopefully she won’t be able to afford the bill and will have to sell her house !!!!!!! Win -Win !

O and do not let her make you feel uncomfortable !
Instead smile and keep smiling with your head high and let sarcasm flow !

MiddleAgedMe · 30/07/2018 18:25

Your garden sounds awesome! Just smile vacantly at the horrible neighbour she's just a bully and has no power at all over your property! Your children are very lucky to have such a magical place to live in. Well done :) xx

tolerable · 30/07/2018 18:27

7am on a sunday-id of rolled her astroturf up n buried her beneath it.she bought the house -not the street.cheeky cow

manicmij · 30/07/2018 18:33

Unless a garden is totally overgrown and causing problems to neighbours there is nothing your neighbour can do. You sound as if you use your garden like an allotment, something we all seem to being encouraged to try. Ignore her

Commonpeoplelikeme · 30/07/2018 18:34

Just tell her you’re helping with the bee population as a result of people decking, astroturfing and concreting their gardens. Then tell her to fuck right off.

trulybadlydeeply · 30/07/2018 18:38

Take lots of photos of your garden, print them out and drop them round to her, say that you thought her solicitor may find them helpful.

She'll never find anyone to take this on.

Giantcatbear · 30/07/2018 18:45

She's either loony or is just ignorant in that way entitled people are want to be. I would love to see her face when she discovers that having a garden that doesn't conform to her personal taste is not sufficient grounds to sue anyone!

Bigchair · 30/07/2018 18:45

Your garden sounds amazing.Your neighbour's on the other hand,sounds like a sterile hell hole.Tell her to boil her bottom.

pandabear1 · 30/07/2018 18:46

poor you - you have a nutter living next door - prepare for all sorts of weird shit in the future - I have one who moved in last year and boy, does she come up with some tripe. Tell your stupid neighbour to suck it up and get over herself.

Mummyof0ne · 30/07/2018 18:48

Make a scarecrow that looks like her and have it look directly over the fence 🤣

csigeek · 30/07/2018 18:48

Sounds like your using your garden to it's full potential to be honest!
She sounds like a dick

TheHandmaidsTail · 30/07/2018 18:52

If she comes round again threatening to sue say "Oh that sounds LOVELY! Thank you Smile " and close the door

That'll confuse her.

SoloD · 30/07/2018 18:57

craxmum

Your garden sounds lovely. I find people who make issues about race best ignored.

SecretNutellaFix · 30/07/2018 18:57

Given that she appears to have both mental health issues and has very quickly fixated on you and your garden, log every interaction in a diary. And don't let the dogs/ children out without checking for things thrown over the fence into the planted areas.

I love the photo you showed- I love gardens, proper gardens but I have a black thumb- I've even killed kalanchoes fgs. They're supposed to be one of the hardiest plants going, so I am envious of your skill.

I hope she calms down, but as my grandmother used to say to me as a very small child "If you don't like what it looks like, you don't look at it then"

JaneEB · 30/07/2018 19:00

Craxmum, I would far rather have your garden than hers, at least it is real! Sounds rather like mine, I have basil, chives, raspberries, blueberries, strawberries, redcurrants and blackcurrants, all around a nice bit of straw like (at the moment) lawn, and I have a cotoneaster for the bees, along with a grape vine and a couple of gnomes given to my by our grandchildren. I think it would give her nightmares, I can't see her managing to sue considering it was like that when she moved in, but an attitude like that must surely decrease the market value of your house next to hers if she tries it on.

Beeziekn33ze · 30/07/2018 19:00

OP - I so wish I lived next door to you!

Judashascomeintosomemoney · 30/07/2018 19:00

Buy a goat. Call it Geraldine.Grin

AmateurSwami · 30/07/2018 19:03

Out neighbours have a broken car, a sofa and about a thousand dog shits in their garden. Can’t get myself worked up about it.

jade9390 · 30/07/2018 19:06

She cannot sue you and house prices are not lowered by neighbours gardens. These people who astroturf everything are in the wrong and ruining nature. You grow stuff which is what gardens are for. I feel for you, this woman sounds like she will be a neighbour from hell. 7am is not acceptable, along with insults and racism. Keep a dairy, she sounds like she will get worse.

Bekstar · 30/07/2018 19:10

Your garden sounds lovely, her son the other hand sound horrid. She doesn't have a leg to stand on, expecially if your garden was like that when she bought the house. Not that she'd have much chance even if it was a sudden change in design. Tell her she needs to look up the allotment act 1950 which entitles and encourages you to use your garden to produce veg, fruit etc. I might also mention it also entitles you to look after a small amount of livestock such as chicken in order to lay eggs, personally I'd be getting some and giving her something to really complain about.

AlexaAmbidextra · 30/07/2018 19:11

Keep a dairy, she sounds like she will get worse.

God, no. Don’t suggest that. The sound of cows mooing will cause even more complaints. Grin