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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Neighbour does not like the look of my garden - threatening to sue

566 replies

craxmum · 29/07/2018 10:03

A new neighbour has moved in last month (we are sharing a wall in a semi-detached property). She seems to have a major issue with the way my garden looks (just paid me a visit at 7am on Sunday to inform me that she hasn't slept properly since she had a party last night and her guests were apparently "aghast"). First thing she did after moving in was decking and astroturfing her back garden fence to fence (the bits that weren't already covered in concrete).

She did mention it a couple of times before, but I never thought it bothers her that much. Now she made a vague threat of suing me for damage to her assets, as apparently her house value and enjoyment of her property is impacted. I mean, she bought it a couple of weeks ago (at the normal market value as far as I can see from the open sources), surely she made the decision with full awareness of what my garden looks like? She added a couple of personal insults (about me being foreign etc) as well.

My garden is a bit informal allotment style. We grow berries, tomatoes, courgettes, peppers, beans, herbs - stuff like that, also have a couple of dwarf fruit trees. Sunflowers all over the place at the moment. I have two small children (3 and 5), they absolutely love it and they have their own little experimentation areas. There is a bit of lawn, but with two dogs it is not in great shape - trimmed, but with some bald patches. There is an occasional weed or two, or maybe ten. Plenty of butterflies and bees. A composter (of a posh type, fully closed and maintained, not leftovers rotting in a bin). There is a water butt and sometimes watering cans / other gardening equipment lying around. I mean, it is by no means perfect, and can sometimes be messy and looks quite rustic, but I absolutely cannot see what I can do to comfort her apart from ripping all vegetation out and paving over.
AIBU?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
Lapun · 30/07/2018 19:20

The next door neighbour may not like your garden and should not indulge in personal comments but I am tired of people slinging the word “racist” around without evidence. A person from an overseas country is not necessarily of a different race. Nor is some of the foul language used to describe someone with whom we disagree necessary. I entirely sympathise with the OP, but reading some posts on Mumsnet is painful!

milliemolliemou · 30/07/2018 19:22

OP you're being supremely understanding about this. The poor woman is dealing with MH issues, divorce and "coming down in the world" in her view. However she shouldn't impinge on you or make your family's life a nightmare - it might be worth keeping an ear out for visiting relatives so if there are problems you have a contact. Like others I think you should keep a diary of what contact you have with her and what was said. And don't answer the door when you don't want to. Good luck - and another vote here for your garden.

MysteriesOfTheOrganism · 30/07/2018 19:26

You need a decent Wicker Man to give her the heebie-jeebies Grin

Neighbour does not like the look of my garden - threatening to sue
cherish123 · 30/07/2018 19:37

Your garden sounds a lot better than hers. AstroTurf- yuk.

Rhiannon13 · 30/07/2018 19:57

Your garden sounds wonderful, and a perfect place for your children to enjoy being outdoors. Just ignore her. Some people really don't do themselves any favours, do they?

Bitlost · 30/07/2018 19:58

I would just tell her to F off once and never to speak to you again. Then ignore her completely for ever. Did this with neighbours downstairs. Drive them mad and they left. 😋

tempester28 · 30/07/2018 19:59

7am after a party? maybe she was still drunk

Thatssomebadhatharry · 30/07/2018 20:04

Haha some people are batshit. Your garden sounds like paradise. Tweet a picture to Chris Packam ask him if he thinks your garden is rubbish!!

busyhonestchildcarer · 30/07/2018 20:07

Your garden sounds lovely.who wants a plastic,concrete garden??

Xenia · 30/07/2018 20:14

She sounds awful and your garden sounds just right. TYou need grass or soil to absorb flood water/rain so astroturf and concrete would be dreadful for that and butterflies and bees adore what you have in your garden and get nothing out of astroturf.

However the main thing is you have to live next to her so just smile sweetly and say something neutral like - each to their own.

enbh · 30/07/2018 20:22

It sounds lovely! It's none of her business, she sounds awful!

Rustic looking gardens are beautiful!

clarepetal · 30/07/2018 20:23

Your garden sounds lovely. Your neighbour sounds like a twat. How can she sue you?! I'd laugh in her face

Grimbles · 30/07/2018 20:27

Do you live next door to margo leadbetter?

MrsPeel · 30/07/2018 20:30

Lapun I would have thought that making inappropriate and irrelevant references to someone being foreign and saying "in this country we do such-and-such" was pretty much evidence of a racist attitude but maybe I am missing something here

PeachyPeachTrees · 30/07/2018 20:55

It's a cottage garden and it's lovely! I have a wild bit at the end of my garden and it's full of bees and a few butterflies. I even have a wild hedgehog. Smile I have some home grown fruits and herbs but nothing that takes a lot of time.
My neighbour has a perfectly neat landscaped garden and has offered to trim my side of our boundary hedge as it's too overgrown!

Catsinthecupboard · 30/07/2018 21:04

I told my neighbor to never come to my home again. I am not dealing with crazy. she stayed away. It is okay to say, "Go away."

CasanovaFrankenstein · 30/07/2018 21:11

Mysteries I was just about to say that!

"Summer is icumen in..." 🎶

Lapun · 30/07/2018 21:14

MrsPeel,

I entirely agree with your sentiments but my main concern is the use of “racist” even when that epithet is being used about someone who merely hails from another country such as France or Australia. Racism is an awful phenomenon and should not be bandied about inappropriately. Nor do we need to use four letter words in our posts. It is imcreasingly common these days.

Baubletrouble43 · 30/07/2018 21:20

Report her to the police if she made racial insults. That is illegal, your garden is not.

Faith7777 · 30/07/2018 21:22

Your garden sounds lovely. Pics please. My two would love a rummage in it. Your children are very lucky 😊😊.

As for your next door neighbour,please keep a diary of future visits and if you can, record her on audio. You can let her know you’re doing this if she visits again.

The chance she’ll find a lawyer to take on her case (not that she has one) is close to zero (must leave room for equally batty lawyer).

This is harassment so you want to make sure you’ve got a case.

Member745520 · 30/07/2018 21:44

re other posters' remarks about racism craxmum says on p7 (and elaborates further bottom of p10)
She wasn't overtly racist (and I am same race as her), more along the lines "we don't do this in Britain in case if you did not know"

nannykatherine · 30/07/2018 22:09

your garden sounds perfect especially with small children to play and learn in
well done
ignore the neighbour she’s just bitter and twisted ...

Br1256 · 30/07/2018 22:19

Agree with all the comments it is your garden and it is up to you how you lay it out and plant it. On the other hand you do have to live next to each other...can you put up some of those rush type fencing to block off your view of her artificial garden and vice versa. However if it is a racist as you suspect nothing is going to make her happy.

Good luck jane

Asdf12345 · 30/07/2018 22:22

Have you considered using an old van as a chicken coop?

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 30/07/2018 22:29

She is not normal

You need a very harsh and firm response so she backs the fuck off

I would be inclined to send a very formal legal letter stating she has no case

And telling her to cease all verbal communication moving forward

What a CUNT