DH withdrawing cash behind my back

[FuckingDH]

Reading my bank statement I've seen a few cash withdrawals the last couple of months that I didn't recognise but I thought it was me being forgetful
Yesterday when trying to pay at the shop, I couldn't find my card and DH suddenly took it out of his wallet and said He had found it earlier at the kitchen floor. My card was declined by the way although I was convenced I had funds

Not sure why this morning I woke up all suspicious, I checked my bank account again and I had a cash withdraw again same time as he went out before we go to the shop
I'm fucking pissed off 17 years together and now I started doubting other things as well. If he can lie about this God knows what else he's done
So:

1. Do I confront him which he ll probably deny or
2. Do I change the PIN and see what happens when the little fucker tries to take money

WWYD

Don't waste your breath responding to the crazies.

This is very odd, he's clearly trying to justify his behaviour and isn't telling you the truth, why he needed the money.

Could it be he hates you and resents you. So stole from you as some sort of petty vengeance...not letting him out, him paying for stuff? Only you know if he's that man. And if he needed the money.

If he's not, and you suspect there is another woman, then there is a whole new low there, stealing from your wife to pay for time with someone else. That's unspeakable really.

21stCenturyMrsBennett
I didn't say he was a dick before I married him, I said he was a different immature person
Stop with the victim blaming that's pretty shit.

He needs to show you what he has done with the money. Has he maybe lost his job and doesn't want to tell you? If not then the money has probably been spent on something like women or gambling. This would be a massive deal for me. Even if he took it out of resentment (in his eyes) for paying in more over the years that would still ring massive alarm bells.

Is there a close friend or family member of his that you could call to ask if they know of any issues?

Is it always the same ATMs? Close by a bookies?

I pinged him to come home to show me his account history
I think there is some jealousy going on, possibly resentment especially as he hates his job but have to stay in it
I only fear for OW only cause I don't trust him now.... if he was that low to steal why not shag someone?

OP, ignore this smug, goady poster. My DH is a diamond but there is no way that I would be so sneery about someone else dealing with the deceit you uncovered. You never know how to react till you are actually faced with a situation like this. But I think you are doing very well given the circumstances.

Is there a pattern to dates & times he's taken the money? In certain areas ?

Yeah, but op, could you carry the family financially? Could he find another job and earn less and uou support more? If so, then he should do that. You don't steal from your wife as revenge because you resent her because you hate your job, and if you do, then it's over.

The issue for me is the sobbing. If he was angry or something it would maybe be what you say, the sobbing indicates he's got himself into a bad situation.

Yeah, but op, could you carry the family financially? Could he find another job and earn less and uou support more?

Staying in a job you hate to support your family is soul destroying. But as pp said above, you make a plan together. Not just keep taking money out of your wifes account.

Is this real?

So he stole money and now you think he has ow

While you have his phone check his emails, deleted items too x

If you really think there is an ow maybe you should consider booking an std check.

Is there a pattern to what atm is used/times etc.

Just read everything..
Money from you each day this week.
So he is broke and needs too wait till he gets paid...
Drink or drugs.
Check your credit history online..
Do his as well, as you know all his data.

He's used same ATM every time, around the corner, every time he was telling me he's going to the shop to get something he's also been doing that !

I can support them financially now but I wouldn't support him, not with what he's done. There is no way in hell, I'd accept him changing job after what he did .

I only fear for OW only cause I don't trust him now.... if he was that low to steal why not shag someone

If he was just shagging someone, he would have put a lot more effort into covering it up his tacks. Instead, he took a huge risk by taking money from your account even though he earns plenty of his own.

Why did he take such a risk? There is a lot more to this.

OP you are magnificent! you are handling this so well. Good that you're techie too. That may prove very handy!

I'm getting angrier the more you post what he's doing. What's with all the sobbing? he's completely playing the victim, isn't he?. Lying, sulking, sneaking thief! can't even be honest about it, but scuttles off out instead of 'fessing what's really been going on. He's making himself ridiculous.

He's obviously broke and desperate to get cash, which makes me think addiction.
He's being an ass about it and I hope he opens up to you about why he did this, and stops deflecting and blaming you.
If not, then I think it would be a deal-breaker for me.

How has his behaviour been the last few months? Highs and lows? Have you checked around for drugs?

Tell him you have contacted your bank about unexpected activity in your account.

Show him that you have highlighted all the unexpected withdrawals on your statement.

Ask him to explain he he can be seen making these withdrawals - even if you haven't seen the footage yet. ( Perhaps he has a terrible debt he has been keeping secret.)

Expect him to repay the money even if he has to sell something to do so!

Surely he can't really resent you earning less when your eldest child is only six?

Thank you it feels good hearing something nice x

Just did the report on him, he has good score it says exactly what his debt is which is in line with what I thought

I still feel he did something with someone, I don't think it's the reason for taking the money but I have this gut feeling he did something and I can't brush it off

I think he stole out of spite or to buy stuff.... it's shit either way, and now I'm feeling jealous of the lovely husbands out there

Sorry - too late - I can see you have confronted him!

Expect him to repay the money even if he has to sell something to do so!
Good one! He has some nice suits he can do without!