Mixed race kids called mongrels

[Whatsinaname100]

Well I am fuming.

I am Asian my husband is white. Me and my husband were walking down the canal in Birmingham city centre today. We were with our 4 month old daughter and my 2 nephews and niece ( 6 to 11 in ages) We walked past a group of 4 young lads. They stared then started sniggering. As we walked passed they shouted "mongrels." This was obviously aimed at the children. We ignored them but I was furious.

I am angry that this was said in front of kids and obviously was a racial insult which hurts. Aibu to be so upset or is this the kind of abuse those in a mixed race relationship do encounter??

I know I should brush it off but didnt expect it in multi racial Birmingham.

Unacceptable remark anywhere, not just in Birmingham, though you would expect it less likely in an area with a high ethnic minority population. I agree Brexit has made racism of whatever form less unacceptable.

@EnthusiasmisDisturbed

Yes and I think it’s terribly unfair to make anyone feel awful for their skin. However I don’t think the thing about mixed children being cute is because the black and brown is watered down, as much as the interesting genetic combinations. There’s a girl in my sons class who has blue eyes and blonde/brown curly hair, and dark skin. She is part black and part white, and I think she’s beautiful. It’s the mixture of traits that I think people refer to, rather than “watering down” the heritage from the poc parent. At least that’s how I’ve always taken it!

However I don’t think the thing about mixed children being cute is because the black and brown is watered down, as much as the interesting genetic combinations

It is precisely because the black is watered down. I'm surprised you aren't aware that colourism is rife in this world, as started and maintained by colonialism.

Who on earth looks at a child and thinks 'interesting genetic combination...?' Mixed race people are not new to this world.

& there's far less interest in say Asian/white mix. The focus is steadily on black and white mix, to the point of obsession at times.

Generally I think just as it does no good to perpetuate that black isn't beautiful, it's also awful to put out that mixed race people are the best looking. It makes no sense - not least because it isn't true. Beauty comes in all shades. Always has, always will

Well said DeeCee

& there's far less interest in say Asian/white mix. The focus is steadily on black and white mix, to the point of obsession at times.

I’ve had people say it about my kids, who are that mix.

I do know colourist exists and that dark skinned people are often made to feel ugly because of their skin, but I’m unsure that the idea of mixed people being beautiul comes from that. I read an article once that stated genetically mixed people have an advantage due to genetic diversity and that often appears attractive, so there’s also that. Perhaps I would feel differently if my kids were half black rather than Indian, I don’t know. I’ve just never taken it as “thank god theyre not completely asian!”, rather people finding the combination interesting.

I don’t disagree that beauty comes in all shades. All races and ethnicities are beautiful and have stunning people.

Colourism*

you must be aware that fairer skin is considered more attractive especially so in Asian culture

I had a friend who lived in India for a few years for work and she said it was incredibly difficult to buy skin products that did not contain chemicals to lighten the skin.

I don’t think darker skin isn’t beautiful. Mixed race children often just look interesting and unusual. I know someone with dark skin and Afro textured hair but with blue eyes and naturally blonde-ish hair and it’s very eye catching.

I’m so white and pasty and - frankly - boring-looking that I find a lot of other racial features (such as Afro hair, for example) really beautiful. I wish my hair would do that but I know that’s not possible because I am white.

I certainly don’t think mixed race children are more attractive than black children because they are “less black” - but if that’s what you believe then surely the opposite applies as well, in that they are also “less white”?

I certainly wouldn’t say any of this stuff in real life because I realise it sounds weird and could make people feel uncomfortable. I don’t believe that there is any racism in it though.

I guess I’d better stop there in case I get accused of “whitesplaining racism” or something like that.

It’s a minefield, and I wish it wasn’t.

That’s what I was getting at upthread. I think people in general are attracted to the different and unique, which is highly prized in our society. Not because a dark skin colour is watered down as on the flip side light skin is darkened, which I think some people find this appealing. I definitely find my light skin colour boring.

Yes I agree. I think people are fascinated by unique looking people, and mixed race people are a minority and each look different so people naturally find that nice. I don’t think they’re saying they’re “better” than all black, all white or all Asian children.

I’m with you on the skin thing too. I’m fair skinned and I don’t really like it lol, I wish I was more tanned.

I think it's disengenious for people to pretend to be unaware of the 'light is right' Eurocentric beauty standards applied to darker skinned people. Its not exactly hidden, and the "exoticism" of mixed race, particularly women, goes alongside that.

Fetishism of colour race and complexion is entirely odd, as are the connotations of this.

If you complimented a mixed race or black or Asian child for their cute Afro hair or their big brown eyes, is that inherently different from complimenting a white child for their lovely blonde or red hair or blue eyes?

I don’t think anyone’s unaware of Eurocentric beauty standards, but I think we are saying that saying mixed race kids are cute isn’t necessarily because they’re less black. People say they’re cuter than white kids as well as black kids, so it’s not as if they’re only saying it because they’re less black? It doesn’t seem like it.

The colour that many mixed race children are naturally seems to be so desirable that both darker skinned people (skin lightening products) and white people (premature aging/cancer caused by sun beds/bathing) risk their health to achieve it. Maybe this is another reason why people comment, but again I can see how this is othering.

I don’t think anyone’s unaware of Eurocentric beauty standards

Nor do I.

As I said - it's pretence.

In UK it's not unusual to come across people who are very good at simply choosing not to see the other side of a 'picture' so as not to admit or possibly have to discuss damaging ramifications.

& I've never in my life heard anyone say mixed race kids are cuter than white kids. If they do then they're stupid.
It's simply more fetishisation of mixed race people and still markedly odd.

There are several eloquent articles written by mixed race people about how problematic this can turn out to be.

Not everyone wants to be 'othered', even if the person doing the othering has somehow taken it upon themselves to decide its ok to do so

4 young lads

Big men hurling insults at children

Which was it? Disgusting behaviour regardless.

& I've never in my life heard anyone say mixed race kids are cuter than white kids. If they do then they're stupid.
It's simply more fetishisation of mixed race people and still markedly odd.

It’s a widely held opinion that mixed kids are cutest out of all. I’m not saying I agree with it, but I’ve heard it expressed by people of all races. It’s NOT just saying they’re cuter than children of colour who are mono racial.

I think it can be othering and make people feel uncomfortable, but I don’t think it’s true to say people find them cute because they’re “less black”. I think that’s disingenuous, and attributing something sinister to it.

Well I am starting to wish I had never commented on this thread, since it’s highlighting how easy it can be to offend someone even if you don’t think you’ve said anything negative.

In my immediate group of friends nearly everyone is either mixed race or is in a relationship with someone of a different race or nationality. Yesterday I felt perfectly comfortable with all of that. Today I’m wondering whether I should be treading on eggshells around them in case I say something they feel is racist.

That seems like a step back rather than a step forward.

LoveinTokyo I showed my non white partner this and he also thinks it’s quite bizarre. We live in a multicultural area and have multiple ethnic groups in our family and friends, and haven’t encountered this in person either.

In fact I was told the other day by a non white colleage he can’t wait to see my twins when they’re born as he loves mixed kids. Never occurred to me to be offended by that.

Ronnie,
The big men remark was me being sparky! "What a big man you are for picking on children" type thing!

Aah I see, sorry you've experienced that. Arseholes.

This is a very depressing read. I’m black and from London and growing up in the 80s with the only other black person being my sister I always felt exposed. I did experience racism but only in primary school and a couple of older kids in the estate where we lived. The n word. Or p word - which I never understood as I look sub Saharan African!
We live in south London in a very multicultural area and so far we haven’t experienced any racism. But from this thread, I guess it’s only a matter of time.
Also, my DP is Scottish so we go up all the time on the way there now with 3 year and 11month old, but that’s a different thread and so far have never experienced any racism.
The same when we used to holiday in Cornwall over 10 years ago.
Maybe I’m oblivious to it. I hope not.

I’m sorry that happened to you OP

In my immediate group of friends nearly everyone is either mixed race or is in a relationship with someone of a different race or nationality

Yes - the point is, it's like that for a huge majority of people, friends and relatives of different backgrounds. It's not unique. & its part of the reason why no-one should be 'othered' full stop.

I'm black and DP is mixed race. Anyone who starts that 'oohh where are you from, oohh your hair is...' thing gets very short shrift from him, and that is his right. It doesn't matter what the other person intended. & it doesn't matter if another person, even another mixed race person, wouldn't be annoyed by it. Not everyone wants to be a talking point in that way.

It's perfectly possible to start or have a conversation without alluding to a person's race.

We live in south London there are plenty of mixed race people here, so forgive me if I don't buy the starry eyed "ooohhh..." when most people in London at least, have seen mixed race people before so why go on as if you haven't and are enthralled?

We need to start seeing people as more than what colour and race they are, and whether they're pretty or not. There are too many excuses made for shallowness as it is. It's nice to say something to or lovely about someone, but I wouldn't do that based on race and colour and perceived levels of attractiveness.

LoveInTokyoHow many black Asian of mixed raced people have approached you and said. You know white children. Are the best can I touch her long blond hair and ohh their skin n and move in for a stoke
I bet none this happens to me on a regular basis with my kids more so the youngest is who is very light

It’s fucking wired yuk and totally raced based

It’s weird asking to touch peoples skin and hair.