Mixed race kids called mongrels

[Whatsinaname100]

Well I am fuming.

I am Asian my husband is white. Me and my husband were walking down the canal in Birmingham city centre today. We were with our 4 month old daughter and my 2 nephews and niece ( 6 to 11 in ages) We walked past a group of 4 young lads. They stared then started sniggering. As we walked passed they shouted "mongrels." This was obviously aimed at the children. We ignored them but I was furious.

I am angry that this was said in front of kids and obviously was a racial insult which hurts. Aibu to be so upset or is this the kind of abuse those in a mixed race relationship do encounter??

I know I should brush it off but didnt expect it in multi racial Birmingham.

I think the issue is if people make the persons race the ONLY thing they talk about. So someone being black, and then reducing them to just being black rather than talking to them about their hobbies or interests

This, exactly.

I truly dislike certain people bringing race into every conversation with me. I might be thinking about lots of other things, it's not standard that I want to talk or think about race all the time - I have a life, job, hobbies, interests just like everybody else.

I don't start going on about race every time I see white friends and colleagues as I don't solely define myself via my race and colour, albeit I won't stand for anyone being racist to me and mine.

As to the rest...me walking with my 2 (black) children and my mixed race nephews..then the 'sooo handsome' comments re nephews would make me roll eyes. It's a bastardised version of the 'one drop' rule, as if 'watered down black' = pretty. Its crass ..it's also extremely shallow to focus on the external so much, whilst ignoring the fact that the nonsensical racist stereotype of 'black = not attractive' does actually exist, even if there's denial of this hidden behind 'but we don't MEAN it in a racist way'.

I simply don't see mixed race children as being prettier and more beautiful than children of any nation who aren't mixed

Metoo that sw is outrageous, completely out of order. I trust you complained long and loud.

I've seen plenty of plain looking mixed race children as well as cute ones.

My children (13 and 11) are mixed (white/Asian), they have never experienced racism. DH and I as a mixed race couple have never experienced racism. It’s not the norm, and nor should it be.

Society also likes to label us. I've been a half caste, mxed race. I think I'm still dual heritage until some decided to give is another label for a few years!

Please excuse my ignorance but what label should people be using?

A PP said mixed race was offensive (more offensive than a word I think of as a racist slur) so now I don’t know what word to use.

Why do we need a label to describe people? All people are people? I can describe somebody has having black hair, brown eyes etc and I don't need to say that they are mixed race or whatever?

A school friend of mine was described by my mother as half-caste; this was in the late 70s/early 80s and I was shocked by it then. My mother (now in her 90s) used to say she felt sorry for her and it was wrong to have children when you are both from a different race - we had arguments about it many times.

A friend of mine is married to a Tunisian and I don't think I've ever described her children as mixed race; if I were describing them I'd maybe say they were half-Tunisian if it was relevant to the conversation but otherwise they'd just be described as having long, brown curly hair, brown eyes etc. That said, am I being racist by denying them a description that they may well apply to themselves?

It doesn’t usually come up in conversation, no, but sometimes it does, and so it’s helpful to know what description is OK to use. I have the vague impression that some words are considered offensive now which weren’t when I was younger, but maybe I was just less aware then. It can be a bit of a minefield.

Me too

I have definitely experienced racism growing up, been called p word, m

Also, “half-Tunisian” or similar implies another nationality, which may not be the case. I have a French friend whose mother is black and father is white. I think she would be OK with being described as mixed race but not with being described as only half-French. She is French. I assume her mother’s family were from somewhere in Africa at some point (or maybe the Caribbean) but I don’t know where and I’m not going to ask!

I don’t know why anyone would find mixed face offensive? It doesn’t imply either is better or worse.

Sorry prematurely posted!

...been told I smell, told I am a dirty as a schoolchild because of my ethnicity.

I have also had comments from friends and family for being part of a mixed race couple too which I have had to deal with.

But this was the first time I experienced abuse from random strangers for being part of a mixed race couple. It was unexpected, unprovoked and completely out of the blue in a multi ethnic city so that's why I was so taken aback.

I'm afraid it's everywhere (racism) and getting worse everyday especially since Brexit referendum.
Even here on Mumsnet.

@Namelesswonder how do you know it isn't the norm? Just because you haven't experienced it doesn't mean others haven't.

@LoveInTokyo the French attitude is if you are from a French colony, French protectorate or have French nationality in any other way you are simply French. You aren't half anything regardless of where your family ethnic origins are from.

Dreamscomingtrue
You don't know what you are talking about, I suggest you just read through the posts and learn.

Metoodear
Your syntax is giving me a headache

@lindalee3 are you really that stupid? As you seem unaware that you can be black/Asian and fall into every other group including having red hair. Yes it is rare but it exists even in the UK.

Also you claim that others are minimising abuse stuffered by white people yet you are doing it with a black newsreader! You seem completely unaware that any person that is in the media eye who is on social media gets derogatory insults if you are female, non-white or disabled. These insults are worse if you are any combination of the above.

@MrSpock because race doesn't exist in a biological context. Humans are all the same race though we may have different ethnic backgrounds.

The problem with terms like "dual heritage' is that ignores people I'm related to and friends with whose heritage is from 3 or more ethnicities.

@lindalee you are wrong. I heard several stories and witnessed several racially motivated incidents in the run up to the Brexit vote. Mainly in rural areas. It happened. Just because it didn’t happen to you doesn’t make it a lie.
The issue with saying mixed race children are pretty is because it is exactly saying black people need white in them to be attractive. It isn’t saying the same for white people, look around at advertising etc they all show white people as they are considered beautiful. Look at the abuse a black woman got on Love Island. People don’t like being victims, it’s ridiculous to suggest they do.

My bf when I was growing up was mixed race and we were once in a bus and a punk got on and started racially abusing her. I felt scared and humiliated so I can’t imagine how fucking awful she felt.

Also DP has a disability and has been abused for this all his life, even now. Wtf is wrong with people?

KickAssAngel my experience of the US is of horrifying, quite open racism. And this amongst midle class people. Granted this was a Southern State where my sister lived. In fact it wa so bad. I refused to visit again.

Society also likes to label us. I've been a half caste, mxed race. I think I'm still dual heritage until some decided to give is another label for a few years!

Please excuse my ignorance but what label should people be using?
To be honest im not really bothered, I just get amused when we get called something different as not to offend us!

I would definitely agree with you busybusybust - racism in the US is horrific. There may be pockets of tolerance, but on the whole, systemic racism towards black people in the US surpasses many, many other countries, notwithstanding the sort of hideous racism we know exists in the UK.

MrSpock you must be aware that fairer skin is considered more attractive especially so in Asian culture

So the toned/watered down brown/black skin perceived by many to be more attractive you know not completely foreign is something that we should not accept as being an ok message to give to children

Sadly I am quite sure that if you had 30 children 10 from south Asian backgrounds, 10 from African or Caribbean backgrounds 5 mixed race/dual heritage and 5 white European the latter 2 groups would most likely gain more aww cute remarks

Yes big brown eyes are cute but guess what brown and black children often have big brown eyes

Our media, history, advertising, films have manipulated us into what is most attractive but children from all ethnic and ethnic mix backgrounds are cute some cuter than others a mixed raced/duel heritage child isn’t necessarily better looking and it should never be pointed out they are becuase they are mixed race which is often the message that is coming over