Mixed race kids called mongrels

[Whatsinaname100]

Well I am fuming.

I am Asian my husband is white. Me and my husband were walking down the canal in Birmingham city centre today. We were with our 4 month old daughter and my 2 nephews and niece ( 6 to 11 in ages) We walked past a group of 4 young lads. They stared then started sniggering. As we walked passed they shouted "mongrels." This was obviously aimed at the children. We ignored them but I was furious.

I am angry that this was said in front of kids and obviously was a racial insult which hurts. Aibu to be so upset or is this the kind of abuse those in a mixed race relationship do encounter??

I know I should brush it off but didnt expect it in multi racial Birmingham.

I frequently get strangers coming up to tell me how pretty DD is, and they will then ask ‘what mix is she?’ Like that’s a reasonable question to ask a stranger, and not something that makes you feel as if they see your child as some sort of exotic pet. But of course you will be painted as the rude one if you challenge them.
Unfortunately OP in my experience it’s normal to get some form of racism directed at you if you are in a interracial relationship or have mixed race children. There are a lot of people who dislike seeing interracial relationships, from all races and backgrounds. And you just have to read any thread on racism on here to see just how wilfully ignorant the racists are, it really shocked me that MN has so many people who will not be told that they are the problem.

Unfortunately Brexit gets the blame for everything. Even Jamie Oliver’s shit, overpriced restaurants closing. Easier than blaming himself for poor management and greed opening too many and not being on the ball.

@barefootinkitchen I've worked and been on holiday to countries where locals haven't seen black people in real life. However adults and older children knew not to stare. The younger ones who did want to stare had manners and said "Hello" because obviously I was American.

I think a lot of people are jumping on this as being white culprits.

This OP is in birmingham, I get this all the time when i go back and visit relatives. Those that do give these types of comments to me are not white.

goldenchildandihateit

It works both ways though, like I said in my previous post, I travelled in China and Kenya in the 80’s and was photographed, stared and and my hair touched because I was unusual looking in those countries. It was a bit scary to be honest but I went along with it, not much else that I could do. I also have a blue eyed, silky haired grandson as well as mixed raced grandchildren and people fuss over him and stroke his hair too.

But Dreams I have had those experiences too in the Middle East, as a white woman. I would not consider it remotely comparable to racism, just curiosity on the part of the children there. I love the honesty of children.

Dreamscomingtrue but people with different coloured skin to white aren’t unusual in this country. And it’s not the 80s. It’s nearly 40 years on from then.

I find it laughable that Brexit is being brought into a discussion about racism

I don't find it funny . Racism pre-dates Brexit by centuries. But Brexit will of course be mentioned - because as soon as it was (naively) thought that Brexit would get rid of immigrants, all the nasty sly racists came out of the woodwork and began to speak in openly racist fashion, in a way they never would have before.

I frequently get strangers coming up to tell me how pretty DD is, and they will then ask ‘what mix is she?’ Like that’s a reasonable question to ask a stranger, and not something that makes you feel as if they see your child as some sort of exotic pet. But of course you will be painted as the rude one if you challenge them.

I can see why you would find that rude. At the same time, they probably don't mean any harm. (I appreciate that that doesn't make it any less annoying or offensive from your point of view.)

When I was visiting my grandmother in hospital she kept telling me that the Filipino nurses were "lovely little people". She didn't anything rude by it, but still. Cringe. I hope they didn't overhear.

I am blonde and when we went to turkey for the day, everyone there kept trying to touch my hair and harassing me, I get it to a certain degree as they are not used to seeing really blonde with really blue eyes, but it was intimidating and I was 20 odd but now I have children if someone tried to do it to them I would become very protective and not happy.
But for young people to use such a term about people is disgusting and must have been heard and picked up from somewhere, unfortunately I think racism is going to get slightly worse in the uk with peoples uneducated views of what is happening currently.
Hopefully your children will grow to be well rounded enough to ignore and pity people with such views, but they should not have to endure this in the meantime.

In the 80’s I visited China and Kenya. I was fussed over (my hair was touched because it’s fine and silky) and I was photographed because I have fair hair and eyes, should I have been offended?

But wouldn't it be awful if you were born and brought up there?

Some racism though is just yobbism. I lived in a very rough part of Dublin, nearly everyone got abuse from the children and black people got racist abuse. They were sad little fuckers.

I've been in the middle East and had Japanese people waiting with their cameras to take photos with me (and my family) because we're black.

It's like we were a unique species. At first I thought they'd mistaken us for celebrities...but no they hadn't.

I assume there are barely any black people in Japan.

I just think it's very strange behaviour.

Aibu to be so upset or is this the kind of abuse those in a mixed race relationship do encounter??

Course it's not normal and YANBU to be so upset, sickening behaviour if true

WTF is with all the weird posts on AIBU these past few days?

rainbows, why would you suggest it is not true?

The OP doesn't come across like a wind up.

@sandyY2K - I remember being on a break in Wales . We were playing adventure golf and a member of staff comes over asking if he could take our photo for their marketing. I said no before DH could open his mouth. I'm not interested in them trying to use as to show diversity in their brochures... when we we the only people of colour on the entire resort.

Sorry your first reaction was that Seriously though, it's not always because of diversity. I'd quite happily automatically take pictures of nice looking families with permission of course, and to tick a diversity box wouldn't even enter my head. You'd just be another family. Sorry you've been made to feel that way that you automatically refused.

acists came out of the woodwork and began to speak in openly racist fashion, in a way they never would have before.you clearly have not been listening people have consistently said that people have said things like what the op described and worse BEFORE brexit Steven Lawrence was before brexit I could go but you want to convince us black folk were werntbreally suffering until last year

My daughter technically is mixed race but passes for white. What I fear most is other people's reactions as I live in a more race intolerant area. I am not with my ex so often people assume her dad is white.

Dreamscomingtrue (and any other white people who don't get why this doesn't work the same way in reverse)

The long-term, centuries-long impact of racist colonialism that deliberately destroyed the infrastructure, economics, politics, culture, societies and individuals' lives means that when a white person is racist towards an "other" (BME or person of color, depending which terminology you use) there's a shit-load of historical racial abuse coming along with that word. That just doesn't happen in the other direction.

Of course, it can be intimidating to any child to suddenly be the focus of stranger's attention, and that's why many people (in a wide variety of cultures, but not all) have the 'don't point/stare/comment, it's rude' lesson that they teach to children. But that's NOT the same thing as a white teenager deliberately calling a beautiful young child a mongrel.

I haven't heard people using that insult for decades now. I genuinely hoped that it had just lapsed, as it's such a deliberately insulting word. And just by having heard that word, the OP is then left in a crappy situation. IF she turns around and objects, she's suddenly 'that angry woman' and the situation may escalate. If she doesn't, she's just had that label placed on her, and those children. Neither of those are ways she wants to have be seen - either by the perpetrators, or the children she was with.

That's why racism is a crime, and a hate crime as well. Even one word of it.

I have heard of white people in Japan being referred to in a derogatory way. Racism can come from people of any colour and be directed toward people of any colour.

I’m really really saddened reading this. Disgusted that people see fit to call living human beings mongrels, I’m appalled that people even call my dog that, let alone humans.

I am so sorry for everyone affected by racism. It just shows the lack of humanity in some people that they feel the need to reduce people down to their ethnicity and nothing else.

KickAssAngel agree. being pointed at or stared at is not the same as being called a nasty name.

of course Brexit has made it worse. the 60s to the 90s was awful but began slowly to improve. 9/11 started a downward spiral made 100% worse by Brexit. Just read the racist incident stats.

When I was growing up in London in the 80s and 90s strangers used to come up and demand 'What are you?' They always wanted to know where I came from 'originally' and wouldn't accept London as an answer. They also refused to believe my parents were my real parents - they thought I too white to be my mum's, but too exotic-looking to be my dad's. Things seemed to improve in the 2000s but now I think racism has come back up to the surface again. In some parts of the country it feels like it never went away. Even when people are being complimentary, the fact that they're making a fuss over your race shows that they think of you as different and other. To me 'positive' racism is still racism.

@rainbowsandsmiles

Their brochures and website had other families doing activities. They didn't need us except to show diversity.

Maybe I'm just suspicious because of my experiences....but I just felt it was a case if ..."they'll be good for our marketing."