Next door neighbour having a baby

[eggsinonebasket]

I probably am being U. I think I just need to vent. I’m in a semi detached house and the party wall is so bloody thin can hear everything. My next door neighbour is a woman with one DC and she’s just told me in passing that she’s pregnant. I’m already dreading the noise this will entail at night and feel quite stressed about being woken up by a baby then having to get up and go to work, I have a teenager who will be needing sleep for exams soon. She is a noisy enough neighbour already and I feel shit that it’s going to get 100000x worse when this baby is born. I’ve just started a new relationship with someone who is in a highly professional job, I was hoping he’d be able to start staying over at mine but with a screaming child next door who would want to? I’m privately renting and could move but there aren’t many affordable houses to rent in this area and I need to be close for my child’s school. I’m just dreading this already, I’ve lived beneath a newborn before in a flat and it was horrific. I know I’m being ridiculously U

rainbowsandsmiles

"Babies cry. It's what they do. Short of gaffer taping their gobs shut"

Oooo thanks for the tip. 😻 I have a 3 month old.

@eggsinonebasket

"But yeah I guess if it was his baby he’d have to cope with the lack of sleep. (I really
hope I’m not tempting fate here hmm)"

May I be the first to pre-congratulate you on your yet to be accidentally conceived baby. 🥂🎉🎊😂

I mean based on your username the odds are stacked against/for you.

You know YABU! My DS is nearly 4 months old and hasn't screamed since the first couple of weeks. Not all babies scream all night. I live in a semi and I would never let my kids make a noise in our bedroom overnight. DD is 2.5 now but she was a screamer so I went to the opposite side of our semi so we didn't disturb our neighbours!

Clearly you can't prevent this selfish pregnancy, if only , but perhaps a bullet pointed memo including pointing out that a highly professional person might be sleeping over twice a week should go some way to preventing Double The Trouble in case she decides to try to conceive again.

You get my first . Congratulations.

OP, get a grip - it's not like they're deliberately trying to piss you off on purpose

YorkieDorkie

That's considerate of you. I did the same but lots of people don't. OP has already said her neighbour is very loud and so probably won't make any effort to keep the baby quiet. Also who says the baby will be silent after 4 months? My neighbour has a 2.5 year old who still screams at night for half an hour at a time. My bedroom doesn't share a wall and I still hear him at night. If I had to sleep in the next room it would be awful.

Our NDN had a baby last year.

I genuinely can and like to hear her singing to him , baby talking to him etc ... there is so much misery in the world and to hear a child being cherished is life affirming for me .

completely agree. my NDN is the nicest mum, always singing to her DS, she's paranoid he wakes us in the night but we rarely hear him when he cries. when we do we both go "awww" at the memory of it all.

now the extension they're doing is another thing......

This thread is why I left mumsnet before. Clearly the OP isn't being U. She isn't saying the neighbour shouldn't have a baby she's just saying she's worried about it and to be fair I would be too in her shoes.

If you left why come back?

haha I also thought you meant she was having a baby RIGHT NOW! I was already to say that was a bit inconsiderate, but at least it won't be regular!
it sucks but it's tough really, sorry OP.

We've been through 3 babies next door - 2 families- and it hasn't been great. Present family seem to think leaving babies to cry themselves into a frenzy is normal. It isn't.

Also,once you've had a baby yourself I think you're permanently sensitive to a baby's cry,especially at night. So I've woken up countless times. Needless to say DH hasn't.

You're not BU at all.

I'll leave the fact that their 3 children are regularly up-and v awake! - beyond midnight for another thread.

@IceCreamFace - i am very sleep deprived- i am a full time working nurse and i have a nasty physical chronic illness that means i am awake at night in pain and i never get at the most more than 4 hours sleep.

But i still manage to find some positivity in embracing a young family next door.

Just wow. You don’t come across like a nice person at all in this message.

Fucking hell, I've read it all now!

I used to live next door to an old rocker who would play drum and bass all night when he went out FOR HIS DOG! I would have welcomed the sound of a baby crying over that!

Please don't say anything to the neighbour and just move to a detached house far away yabu

i opened this thread because i thought the neighbour was actually physically having a baby!
then this ridiculous excuse for an AIBU, on mumsnet - where people generally have babies.

take it!

I wonder if your mother’s neighbours dreaded your birth OP? So community spirited.

I think the OP has been getting a hard time on here mainly because she felt the need to tell us that her bf has a'highly professional job'. That did seem like a stealth boast.

Other than that, YANBU to be worried about there being another baby in the next house, OP, but it isn't something you can do anything about other than buy ear plugs, which you say you will do. But you don't yet know that the new baby will cry a lot; it's very true that not all babies cry at night.

I'm an anxious person, too. But I often find that the reality is nowhere near as bad as I'd feared.

Ear plugs is good idea, have you thought about moving in with your highly professional partner?

Oopps good luck with earplugs, work for me.

You're being slightly ridiculous.
FWIW I know my neighbour (semi-d house) was definitely bothered by the noise of my first born (she wasn't horrible about it but did admit to being frequently woken when I asked her directly)

However when second son came along she didn't even realise I'd had another baby until six months in. He wasn't a good sleeper but didn't cry incessantly in the night like his brother.

Have you explained the your partner is so “highly professional “ that he takes his holidays I Maui and is posh enough to need a penis beaker? Tel her that for these reasons she must keep the baby quiet.

I’ve just remembered when the couple who lived there previously had someone round with a baby and it was so loud coming through the walls. They really are so shitty thin.

Is her bedroom against yours, if it’s not I wouldn’t worry too much.

But yes you can’t really say anything I’m afraid. Sainsbury’s sell some brilliant ear plugs (they’re on a little carousel with all the travel gubbins) if it gets really bad. Our walls are really thin as it’s a big house that’s been divibded into two, we used to be able to hear our neighbors extractor fan in their en-suite - sounded like a bloody fighter jet at 5am!!!!! Anyway those earplugs blocked it out 👍🏻

Yes @blondevolvo her house is a mirror image of mine so my bedroom joins hers.

This isn’t real is it?! Did your child not cry? Me thinks you may well be a bit drama llama-esque describing living below a flat with a baby as “horrific” 🤔. I’m not convinced this is real!

I thought you meant she was having a home birth right now