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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Next door neighbour having a baby

176 replies

eggsinonebasket · 27/07/2018 19:29

I probably am being U. I think I just need to vent. I’m in a semi detached house and the party wall is so bloody thin can hear everything. My next door neighbour is a woman with one DC and she’s just told me in passing that she’s pregnant. I’m already dreading the noise this will entail at night and feel quite stressed about being woken up by a baby then having to get up and go to work, I have a teenager who will be needing sleep for exams soon. She is a noisy enough neighbour already and I feel shit that it’s going to get 100000x worse when this baby is born. I’ve just started a new relationship with someone who is in a highly professional job, I was hoping he’d be able to start staying over at mine but with a screaming child next door who would want to? I’m privately renting and could move but there aren’t many affordable houses to rent in this area and I need to be close for my child’s school. I’m just dreading this already, I’ve lived beneath a newborn before in a flat and it was horrific. I know I’m being ridiculously U

OP posts:

QueenAravisOfArchenland · 27/07/2018 21:39

I thought this was going to be a live homebirth thread. I'm disappointed (and slightly )

Flamingo19 · 27/07/2018 21:41

I’m pregnant and my neighbour is an absolute cow who moans about everything. I cannot wait for my baby to arrive to piss her off As I know there’s nothing she can do about it! After months of complaining to me about nothng

ALickyBoomBoomDown · 27/07/2018 21:45

Next door neighbour's son likes to play guitar until 2am... guess which wall I will be holding DD near when she arrives....

PerverseConverse · 27/07/2018 21:47

Has OP left the building?

jaseyraex · 27/07/2018 21:47

Another one who thought your neighbour was giving birth at home. I lived next door to a lovely lady who had a home birth years ago...

Anyway, you know you're being unreasonable OP so get ahead of the game and buy some good quality ear plugs. I'm sure you must have had neighbours who felt the same when your teen was a baby. Unless you had a silent baby, in which case feel free to share your secret

kaytee87 · 27/07/2018 21:52

My ds never cried overnight, quick mewl maybe then he was fed and went back to sleep. He did go through a stage of crying from 7pm-9pm every night when he was very small but that wouldn't affect your sleep.

cameltoeflappyflapflap · 27/07/2018 21:52

For fuck sake Op.

Get some ear plugs.

LonginesPrime · 27/07/2018 21:52

It's out of your hands unless you move - surely it occurred to you when you moved into a semi-detached house that it's likely to have a family on the other side at some point?

kaytee87 · 27/07/2018 21:55

Pointing out your bf has a 'Highly professional job' did really make me smile though

BunsOfAnarchy · 27/07/2018 21:58

This is the place to vent after all!
Yes. Yes you are.
Very, very much.

BunsOfAnarchy · 27/07/2018 21:59

@kaytee87 well they do have more sensitive ears these highly professional types

Original poster

eggsinonebasket · 27/07/2018 21:59

I’ve read through all the replies. I know I am being U. To the person who asked if I am generally anxious - yes I am, especially with things that are out of my control. I have also has issues with neighbours in the past (where they were definitely the U ones, very loud music in the middle of the night) where it had to be formally complained about. Since then I seem to be hypersensitive to anything neighbour-noise related whether the noise is U or not.

I’ll look into the ear plugs and white noise machine. At least with renting I can move whenever I need to pretty much, even if I have to pay a fee for early exit.

My boyfriends job is something requiring much more focus and physical energy than my desk job where if I’m sleep deprived I can just about muddle through for a day. But yeah I guess if it was his baby he’d have to cope with the lack of sleep. (I really
hope I’m not tempting fate here )

OP posts:

TheFormidableMrsC · 27/07/2018 22:01

Where's the OP?!

My NDN's (young professionals), complained about my DS when he was born because he screamed incessantly. I did understand that it was an issue but I am not sure what she wanted me to do about it (apart from absolutely EVERYTHING that I did try and indeed I was already an experienced parent). Turned out he had autism and sensory processing disorder which explained why the poor little sod behaved the way he did. NDN's were a pain in the arse about everything though and still are.

However, several years on and they have a baby of their own. Oh my good God, this child screams 24/7. I haven't said a word. I know full well how stressful it is because I've been there. As have you OP. I know it won't last forever and the poor little thing is probably struggling with the heat too. I think you should move if it's stressing you out this much already!

rainbowsandsmiles · 27/07/2018 22:01

Honestly, the loudest human sounds coming through the walls is the mum singing..

Don't be telling me that, I love pretending I'm Madonna or Shania Twain when DH is at work and the kids are at school and I'm doing the washing up!

Ah well, might start charging them for the free entertainment if so lol.

TheFormidableMrsC · 27/07/2018 22:02

Sorry, cross post!

TheFormidableMrsC · 27/07/2018 22:04

OP, could you perhaps consider (if possible), moving your furniture about so that your bed is furthest away from the adjoining wall...moving a wardrobe or units to absorb some of the noise. It's very early to be worrying about this, the baby might be an absolute angel but will still cry regardless, just not necessarily through the night. What I would say is that I am very aware of my NDN crying in the day but I have managed to tune out at night and it doesn't bother me.

LIVIA999 · 27/07/2018 22:04

I've got kids who are awful noisy but I can't help feel for the OP. My kids were bloody awful babies- never stopped screaming I used to apologise to my neighbours constantly and jump out of bed at the first mew to stop the crying.
We then moved and our neighourns were a retired couple who were lovely but moved shortly after we moved in. They never said it but I did wonder if they didn't fancy living next to a family.
The new family that moved in are v bizarre and don't even look at us even though our kids are same age. They had a tiny baby when they moved in and it was awful- I woke every time it did and for a few months it was awful. I tried ear plugs etc and I felt like I had a new born baby again. I wondered if my ears are just tuned to babies crying as DH had no such problem.
He didn't with his own either.
I understand the OP pain though if I saw my next door neighbour was having a baby again I think my heat would sink selfishly but it doesn't last forever and to be fair their ( and my ) teenage boys are much more annoying bouncing balls outside and shouting in the garden.

Flatearthersphere · 27/07/2018 22:06

I'd rather hear a crying baby than a couple in a new relationshio banging.

angelikacpickles · 27/07/2018 22:08

YABU

NoWittyNamesAvailable · 27/07/2018 22:13

Not all babies cry at night. My son is 17 weeks and only once since he was born has he cried at night, and that because he was poorly to the point he spent time in hospital at 3 weeks old. I hope my neighbours haven't moaned about it. They peobably get more fed up of my toddlers very loud voices in the day time. They aren't babies forever and you don't know thay it will be a crier.

Viviennemary · 27/07/2018 22:18

The noise might not be as bad as you think. But if it is you'll have to move. Sometimes there isn't a lot to be done about a baby who cries. You'd be better off in a detached house in the middle of nowhere and then nobody can bother you.

NoMudNoLotus · 27/07/2018 22:18

Awwww we are in a terrace with paper walls.

Our NDN had a baby last year.

I genuinely can and like to hear her singing to him , baby talking to him etc ... there is so much misery in the world and to hear a child being cherished is life affirming for me .

TheLastNigel · 27/07/2018 22:20

Insulate your walls better? We live in a weird old pub split in two arrangements and at one one where the two properties meet the wall
Was about as effective as tissue.
It was loud so we got some
Better insulation sorted-problem solved.

IceCreamFace · 27/07/2018 22:20

YANBU. I would ignore all these nasty comments. Of course you're not being unreasonable to be gutted that there might be more noise from next door. (I mean obviously you can't insist your neighbour doesn't have a baby but it's obviously not unreasonable to be disappointed there'll be more noise). Obviously most people can't afford a noise proof detached house so it's luck of the draw whether you get lovely neighbours and a house with good sound proofing or not. If you have your sleep constantly disrupted it's incredibly stressful - especially when it's not your own baby which you've had by choice.

IceCreamFace · 27/07/2018 22:22

I genuinely can and like to hear her singing to him , baby talking to him etc ... there is so much misery in the world and to hear a child being cherished is life affirming for me .

As lovely as that is I sympathise with people that have busy lives and are light sleepers. Constant sleep deprivation is absolutely awful.

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