to be mad at my midwife?

[NewEP]

I find midwife appointments really nerve wracking. Had a really scary pregnancy so far, had loads of issues, am now consultant led and am having scans every two weeks. Still not sure baby is ok.

Currently at the doctors waiting for my midwife appointment. Been told she is on holiday and no idea why she's booked this appointment for me today. There's another lady here too who's appointment was meant to be before mine.

I understand mistakes can be made but I was expecting some answers to my questions today (it's my 25 week appointment) and I let myself get really anxious overnight. I feel sick to my stomach, was expecting her to go through test results with me, and am just disappointed and have no idea when my next appointment will be. It's a bit of a waste of my time and I'm annoyed I've had to miss out on a meeting at work and have wasted half a day...

AIBU to be pissed of? Or should I just let it slide and get over it. Sat in doctors near to tears whilst they try to sort it out because this pregnancy has just been so scary and awful so far...

*off not of

Looks like she should've done my appointment before she went away, is pretty much booked up after she gets back and I will just have to miss my 25 week appointment (which all women usually have in their first pregnancy)

Sorry you're upset OP. Are you waiting for results from your scan?

Could you ring the hospital you're under to see if they can help you.

That is absolutely terrible OP, YANBU to be angry. Is there another midwife you can book in with instead? You would be well within your rights to complain about it, that's just very unprofessional on her part.

If your waiting for scan results it is unreasonable to not give you them. I would ask to be booked in with another midwife of consultant purely for your test results.

It is an awful situation OP. TO be fair I think the problem by and large is not this careless mistake by one midwife but the huge understaffing in that sector in general. Midwives are leaving in droves because they are being given an unmanageable workload. Take heart from the fact that now you're within the system and having regular scans any issues will be picked up on and your baby is very unlikely to slip through the net (even if his/her's poor mummy is left to worry).

greatduck I'll have to ring the hospital. I've had the results from my scan and I've had to have further blood tests.

I also need my matb1 which work are asking for as I'm nearly 26 weeks now. I wonder if the hospital can do one for me.

So turns out it isn't my midwife, it's the replacement who hasn't turned up. Just going to have to miss my 25 week appointment. They've sent me home none the wiser.

@TheShapeOfEwe she's the only one and they have a replacement who hasn't turned up and they can't get hold of so there's literally nobody else to book me in with at the moment. I'm going to see if the hospital can provide me with one because I can't wait until I'm 28 weeks. My work would legally be able to refuse to pay me my full mat leave if I get it in late. I'm sure they wouldn't but I don't want to risk it and really needed it to be in for Monday...

Can you request that the midwife calls to discuss the results?

My midwife once forgot about me....I was sat in the waiting room waiting then people were turning up after my appointment time and going in before me so DH complained to the receptionist who went and spoke to midwife. Her excuse.... She thought we had had a miscarriage and didn't want to upset me by calling me in. But surely if I had MC I wouldn't have been at the appointment waiting so calling my name wouldn't have upset me as I wouldn't have been there.

Hope you get to see or speak to someone soon X

You can get your mat b form from your GP too. At least I did.

Just spoke to receptionist - apparently it has a box that says 'date of examination' on it so I would have to see the midwife first. Has anyone ever handed in their matb1 really late and still got full mat leave? It specifically states in my policy at work that it needs to be by the end of the 25th week, which for me is on Monday

Agree, telephone appt with GP and they should be able to sign it.

@yikesanotherbooboo apparently not. Said they can't tick the box which says 'date of examination' and so I need to see the midwife first..

Phone your supervisor of midwives. This is not acceptable. Mistakes happen, but, your paperwork needs to be dealt with today.

vivarium how would I go about finding their details? I have no idea... spoken to work and they've said it should be ok but she couldn't say for sure which isn't too reassuring.

Yes there should be a head midwife or someone she reports into. It’s not acceptable to be left like this. My midwife unit were In teams. So there should be someone else to see you

Sorry I can’t help. I’m angry on your behalf. How stressful

It's unusual to get your matb1 before 25 weeks as they wait till after the 20 week scan to give them out.

Legally you have to notify your employer by 25 weeks but that's not necessarily the matb1. I notified by email, handed in my form about 28 - 30 weeks. A friend handed hers in at about 32-34 weeks, she just kept forgetting it. Neither of us had any problems with pay.

I've just remembered that my consultant said I must see my midwife in the next couple of weeks (that was two weeks ago) as I'm now high risk because of these complications, but I now won't be able to see her for another 2.5 until my 28 week appointment. I'm so stressed, feel like I'm about to fall apart. It's been like this with my midwife my whole pregnancy it's so, so draining.

How frustrating for you - I'd be fuming too. If you're consultant led, can you contact his/her secretary and ask for advice?

Contact your hospitals PALS team they should be able to help and get supervisor of midwives to contact you.

Do your maternity notes have any alternative contact details in them for the maternity unit - I think mine had details for the supervisor of midwives.

Do you have a community midwives office number? Give them a call and stress the urgency of the situation. It should be in your notes. If you're worried and having a difficult pregnancy, I don't think calling the day assesment unit would be unreasonable either, they may be able to suggest a quiet time to come down and have your observations done. They've done mine when signing off on a growth scan as I wasn't feeling well.

Definitely speak to PALS (Patient Advice and Liasion Service, each trust will have one) about all this. They are really good where I work and get in touch with the right people in the department for you to resolve the issue.

I'm calling the hospital to see what they suggest and if they can advise on who I should speak to. And breathe... thanks everyone.

Can you also complain to your MP, NHS chief and local paper? (Not being sarcastic, but more people realise how much the service is struggling due to cuts & workload, the more chance of it getting additional resources).