to be mad at my midwife?

[NewEP]

I find midwife appointments really nerve wracking. Had a really scary pregnancy so far, had loads of issues, am now consultant led and am having scans every two weeks. Still not sure baby is ok.

Currently at the doctors waiting for my midwife appointment. Been told she is on holiday and no idea why she's booked this appointment for me today. There's another lady here too who's appointment was meant to be before mine.

I understand mistakes can be made but I was expecting some answers to my questions today (it's my 25 week appointment) and I let myself get really anxious overnight. I feel sick to my stomach, was expecting her to go through test results with me, and am just disappointed and have no idea when my next appointment will be. It's a bit of a waste of my time and I'm annoyed I've had to miss out on a meeting at work and have wasted half a day...

AIBU to be pissed of? Or should I just let it slide and get over it. Sat in doctors near to tears whilst they try to sort it out because this pregnancy has just been so scary and awful so far...

@aaaaargghhhhelpme that's a good shout! I'll try it now

Where I am, if you turn up at the maternity unit someone will speak to you, all this stress wont be doing your baby any good or your blood pressure, sometimes seeing people in front of them can make people see how anxious you are.

@NewEP excuse me? Don't be so rude. I came here to help sorry if I missed something.

any GP worth their salt would examine a worried pregnant woman.

YANBU OP. I had a similar cockup which meant I went four weeks without a checkup later on. So the fact I'd developed raging pre-eclampsia was missed for weeks, until I staggered into the GPs with a bad 'migraine'. I'd tried to chase it up but several midwives were off, I was working FT and no one was particularly concerned as I was so low risk . I was much sharper elbowed next time round!

@NewEP just read back the whole thread and I don't know what you mean by 'read the fucking thread' because people haven't said anything about getting a matb1 from your gp... they don't need to examine you to get a matb1...

Which hospital are you under, OP? I will see if I can find your supervisor of midwives details for you.

I'd go to my local EOU in your situation OP.

@dancingunicorns123 I wasn't rude. Just said read the full thread where you would've seen that I have mentioned numerous times that I have tried my GP. Didn't mean to upset you, however I am extremely anxious, suffering with poor mental health, am worried for my child and don't know what to do. Have you ever suffered from an anxiety disorder before? It is excruciating in times like this. Me writing RTFT wasn't rude IMO.

Midwife here. Sorry you’ve had such a stressful morning. Community midwives will be out through the day and pick up later when they return to base.

Because you are high risk I recommend you call the midwife in charge of the antenatal clinic and explain that you have been told you need this appointment and it’s unavailable in the community. She should be able to get you slotted into a hospital clinic either with a midwife or doctor.

This is why hospital antenatal clinics are so overflowing and the waits are so long- they are constantly picking up the stuff the community staff can’t do.

Best wishes and try not to panic, any midwife or go can fill in the MatB1 and it makes very little difference when an appointment is done so long as it’s regular and in the right ballpark.

dancing RTFT can also mean Read the FULL thread. I suspect that is what OP meant.

@NewEP I don't think you realise that RTFT can also mean 'read the fucking thread' sorry if I took it the wrong way but that's what I know it as... and as a matter of fact I have anxiety myself

Hi ok I work in a surgery if your area is anything like ours the midwife will just go to the surgery once a week for clinic but be based elsewhere. Ask the reception for the contact number of where the are based and you can speak to someone. If no luck with that I would ring your consultant and Explain and they may be able to see you.

@dancingunicorns123 and 'read the full thread' is what I know it as.

Seriously, can you not tell how panicked I am right now? Whatever RTFT means it's not the issue here.

Thank you @MatildaTheCat - I'm hoping that the community midwife will call me back. I don't know if my anxiety is making this seem worse than it is but there's nothing harder than not knowing if your baby is ok and then being let down and given no solution - poor mental health on top of this is just the icing on the cake.

Thanks everyone for your advice I will update when I finally get somewhere

Speak to your work and explain the situation, I handed my MatB1 in at 32 weeks and was fine because I kept work informed.

@Deadheadstickeronacadillac I think I'm doing my normal anxious thing and thinking worst case scenario. It's so hard to explain how anxiety makes you feel. I'm sure more people understand than I think... it's so tough. Going for a walk to clear my head and hoping someone calls soon...

Call pals back and tell them you want to make a complaint - the squeaky wheel gets the oil

Go to hospital, this will be only way to make head better.
I was high risk for growth restriction, hyperemesis, in a wheelchair, malnourished and dehydrated...at 25 weeks baby was beginning to make herself known and was strong. She came out at term weighing 7lbs 14ozs.
Take heart lovely, it can work out but you do need someone to reassure you properly.

Oh also know about anxiety...have bipolar and BPD, my anxiety was through the roof.
A walk sounds a good idea, just be careful in the heat.

@Deadheadstickeronacadillac oh you poor thing. That sounds awful, I'm so happy to hear it all worked out for you. I am in that weird state of mind where I can't possibly imagine myself having a healthy baby, and experiences like this just add to this...

dead thank you

Oh you poor thing

I can only imagine how you must feel.

Do you have breathing exercises for your anxiety? Try them now. Nothing dreadful is going to happen right now if you don't get an answer immediately. Someone will call you back eventually. I know that doesn't sound good enough but it will be OK.

Re matb1 - It does not have to be given to your employers right now. You only need to inform them of your intention to go on maternity leave etc. That isn't important enough to keep you anxious.

If nothing else your dad can examine you to ensure everything is OK at the weekend but fingers crossed someone will get back to you before then.

If you feel you need to DO something right now I echo the posters who are saying to go the hospital.

Good luck xxx

The advice to speak to PALS is very good advice - details will be clearly on the website.

I've phoned PALS and spoken to a really lovely and helpful lady. She's going to ring me back as soon as she can...

Of course you have a right to be upset. They should have offered somebody to talk you through the results. This is really bad. Agree with seeing GP re form and results. If she is making appointments for people when she is on holiday then somebody needs to cover those. She sounds very incompetent.