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AIBU?

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Original poster

Too young?!

134 replies

popitk · 26/07/2018 16:58

Is 10 months old too young to put into nursery full time 5 days a week 8-6?

Would I be unreasonable to do so?

OP posts:
itbemay · 26/07/2018 17:06

both my children went to a childminder at 3 months old M-F 8 - 6 and were perfectly fine, childminder had 8 other kids (some at school etc) it was a childminding team (so 2 people) was brilliant!

Rosie342 · 26/07/2018 17:09

If you have to you have to unfortunately. Usually they are fantastic though and k8ds love being around other kids.

cariadlet · 26/07/2018 17:14

All the research shows that nurseries are brilliant for children from about 2 years upwards, but more individual care from a close loving adult (eg parent or grandparent) is best for younger children.

But this isn't a popular view. A lot of people have no choice other than to put babies into nursery and can then become very defensive if they are questioned about this.

If you need to then go ahead. I know children who were in nursery full-time from a young age and were happy and have turned out fine. But it isn't ideal, and I wouldn't if there is an alternative.

WorraLiberty · 26/07/2018 17:16

Whether you'd BU to do so would depend on your situation I think.

Personally, I wouldn't choose to put a non verbal child into any kind of daycare, but if I had to I would.

Katescurios · 26/07/2018 17:21

My DD went to nursery same hours from 9 months. She's a geography well-adjusted 4 yr old now. Loves nursery, has loads of friends, an looking forward to school in september.

Katescurios · 26/07/2018 17:22

Don't know why it auto corrected to geogr aphy, that should say happy, healthy.

Mouseville65 · 26/07/2018 17:45

Both mine went from 4 months old (9-5), Now 11 and 4 - definitely no sign of damage done ;)

NewtoOLD · 26/07/2018 17:47

Not too young and not unreasonable . If you have to or want to work then that is your choice . I found that nurseries did amazing things with them - the kind of things that I couldn't be arsed to do every day Wink

Mindchilder · 26/07/2018 17:50

It would be my last choice after grandparents, nanny or childminder at that age but I also think a good nursery would be fine.

Original poster
popitk · 26/07/2018 17:55

DS is my first and will be my only child. Just so conscious of missing memorable moments and milestones if I put him in nursery from around 9 months old full time.

Wouldn't be so concerned if it was part time but with my job that's not feasible.

My OH can cover the essentials finance wise but really would just be the essentials if I didn't return to work and don't want DS missing out on things cos money is tight

OP posts:
scolotti · 26/07/2018 17:57

At this age your baby would 'miss out' as money is tight. This age only comes once and you will miss so so much. Only do this if you absolutely have to.

Blaablaablaa · 26/07/2018 17:58

My DS went to nursery full time at 10 months. He's now nearly 4 and is thriving. I genuinely attribute most of that to his nursery.

We've never had any issues and I'd do it again in a heartbeat

WorraLiberty · 26/07/2018 18:02

What would he 'miss out on' between now and when he starts school?

Original poster
popitk · 26/07/2018 18:07

@WorraLiberty I see what you're saying but what worries me is I'd be out of work for so long I'd struggle to find a job when he starts school but you do make a good point Smile thanks

OP posts:
NoobThebrave · 26/07/2018 18:10

Depends how much you earn, I worked out I would only clear £50 after paying nursery fees and decided I would rather be a SAHM and save some money by having more time to cook etc. My DS loved helping cook, clean, play in the garden, go round local fish shop...all very cheap!! Other friends went back but ended up with cleaners etc to cope. If you enjoy playing then I would say dont miss it...1-4 goes in a flash and then they are at school :( Either way most children cope with their 'normal'.

happytobemrsg · 26/07/2018 18:11

Could you get a different job which allows you to be part time?

Original poster
popitk · 26/07/2018 18:13

@NoobThebrave if I was paying full time fees I'd have about £300 per month left after fees and I probably would have to look to getting a cleaner as well which would leave me with even less obviously

OP posts:
SugarIsAmazing · 26/07/2018 18:13

I don't work full time as I think my youngest is too young and he's nearly ten years old.
I wouldn't put a baby in nursery unless you really, really needed the money. You'll miss out on so much!

BottleOfJameson · 26/07/2018 18:15

I would definitely hold off if possible and if not go for a good childminder. That said if you have no choice the DC will be OK.

Original poster
popitk · 26/07/2018 18:17

@happytobemrsg that might be an option but every time I've looked I never see many part time jobs about. Rather limited as I don't drive and my current job is walking distance from home which is handy! Just think I'd struggle to find anything

OP posts:
Deadheadstickeronacadillac · 26/07/2018 18:17

Defo not unreasonable...ds1 went at 7 months, 7:30 to 6:30 and had to be dragged out each day! He is now 11, still friends with a couple of kids from there and remembers his 4 years or so very fondly.
Just make sure it is the right setting...ds1 was a robust kid and relatively boisterous but caring and polite, the nursery staff were amazing at giving him freedom and guiding him in the right way...I will always be eternally grateful to them as I worked my arse off teaching a bunch of secondary kids!

sagasleathertrousers · 26/07/2018 18:18

Are you married? If not I wouldn't give up your job. It might be important later down the line. Don't feel guilt either, as people have said it's not ideal but lots and lots of people do it because they need (and want) to keep their career going.

BossWitch · 26/07/2018 18:19

Dd was full time nursery (7.45 - 5ish) from ten months. She dropped to 4 days a week at about 18 months when my parents offered to do a day a week.

She's just "graduated" from nursery and is looking forward to school in Sept. She's brilliant. I am a bit sad at not being with her all that time, but my being in full time work meant we could buy a house, get our family in a more secure position, move to an area where she can go to nicer schools.

She's completely 'school ready' and is much more confident than she uses to be. Not sure if she'd be as she is without being at nursery.

Ionlylookatthepictures · 26/07/2018 18:20

I wouldn’t have done it myself. I sacrificed luxuries to be a SAHM for the first five years. No holidays, nothing. It was ball-achingly boring at times but I’m pleased I did it as I still have an incredibly close relationship with my teen dds and I went back to work anyway so didn’t miss out on anything. I guess I was lucky. I accept that might be seen as an unpopular ‘martyrish’ choice these days though! Trust me the years fly by.

Original poster
popitk · 26/07/2018 18:20

@SugarIsAmazing that's what I'm worried about. Sad I don't want to miss these precious years. My Oh wages will keep us afloat it'll just be a bit tight month to month so in that sense I don't have to go back to work. I just worry about how we will pay xmas etc as we have no savings or anything

OP posts:
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