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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think that my dad is a ******!

47 replies

Aufish · 30/05/2007 15:28

My dad and I were reunited back in February of this year after 26 years and he started going on about my birthday and that I wasn't to plan anything as he wanted to do everything for it as it was the first one he was going to be there for. So we made no plans. So today is my birthday and I've heard nothing from him what so ever, I'm so peed off, its now too late to plan anything and I'm sat here doing nothing.

OP posts:

dionnelorraine · 31/05/2007 08:00

Morning Aufish

How are you today? Did you have a nice(ish) birthday eve with takeaway etc?

You dad been in contact yet?

Original poster

Aufish · 31/05/2007 10:56

Good morning, am feeling alot better today thanks, am over my loser dad, he has some serious making up to do if he thinks he's coming back into my life. I had a nice evening in the end, a mix of takeaway, MN and big brother and I laughed my socks off!

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Original poster

Aufish · 31/05/2007 10:57

Oh and to answer the question, no still have a big fat silence from him, then again I won't be answering to him for a couple of days.

OP posts:

Otter · 31/05/2007 10:58

you are right - he IS a loser
you are worth more than that
some people do not deserve to be parents

Original poster

Aufish · 31/05/2007 18:48

Well I spoke to my DP today as I feel this is something I just am not getting over, the hurt that I feel is horrible, bless him, he just doesn't know what to say, so I thought I would send my stepmother a text to say thank you for the birthday cards that had been sent as we looked at both of them and it was obvious that they were sent by her and not my dad and I haven't even had a reply from her. I'm going to speak to my foster parents tonight and hopefully they will be able to make sense of it all and make me feel better. I just don't know what to do now and I feel like crap, he still hasn't bothered getting in contact and it makes me feel not wanted after everything he said.

OP posts:

Otter · 31/05/2007 20:41

your foster parents are obviously good
i did not really have good parents and tbh i do feel a huge sense of loss
i do NOT want them though
just good parents
how do you feel tonight?

FioFio · 31/05/2007 20:44

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Otter · 31/05/2007 20:47

Fio So true
I dumped my counsellor as he persisted in saying 'but i think you do' when i spoke of TRULY not loving my 'parents'
I really dont. but like you i really would have loved to have what i see all around me - lovely caring mums and dads

ahh well - will have to be good to my kids!

FioFio · 31/05/2007 20:50

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Mum07 · 31/05/2007 21:03

Big virtual hug going out to you Aufish, I too have a crap Dad who has let me down countless times and I have finally, sadly, learned not to expect anything from him.

I remember one summer when i was about 8 he didn't turn up to pick us up from the train station for a visit at all, and yet claimed he was there and we must have missed each other!!! He promised (to himself really) that he would be a better grandad than he was a dad and has only seen my DD (2.5) about 5-6 times. The thing I have to remember is that, ongoing, he is the one missing out and I've got to take the higher moral stance and tolerate him. I've had a little bit of counselling too and found it incredibly helpful. Just take consolation in the fact that you're taking parenting seriously and will reap the rewards in the long-run.

Otter · 31/05/2007 21:11

i wish i had a belief system

i just believe in good and that good will prevail - and justice will be done somewhere somehow

Original poster

Aufish · 31/05/2007 21:13

Hi I haven't been able to get hold of my foster parents tonight so am still very much up in the air. I have had counselling in the past but because this is all new and fresh I really don't know what to do about it all. I know how you feel about wanting your parents to love you like other parents love their children and often look at my friends relationship with their parents with a sense of envy. I suppose that's what I was hoping with my dad.

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Original poster

Aufish · 02/06/2007 20:29

Hi am back and still haven't heard from my **head of a father, have literally just sent him a text telling him that he has hurt me beyond repair. I spoke to my foster parents last night and they are livid in what has happened. They really can't believe he could do that to me, they said that even my mother didn't ever do that to me. They have made me feel so much better and now that I have sent the text telling him how he has made me feel, I'm not brooding on it.

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expatinscotland · 02/06/2007 20:31

I'm sorry, Aufish.

I hope you were able to enjoy the birthday at the weekend.

He sounds a wanker, yeah.

Original poster

Aufish · 02/06/2007 20:35

We have had a good couple of days thanks, but in the back of my head it has been a case of me just waiting for the phone to go and yet there has been nothing. He truly is a shit.

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Original poster

Aufish · 02/06/2007 20:51

Just got the reply back "sorry, sorry, sorry I forgot it was your birthday" what the fuck is that all about? Told him that he can go and jump!

OP posts:

fireflyfairy2 · 02/06/2007 21:05

I am sorry for you.

I wonder what the hell is going on in his head? How could he be so callous?

Did you hear from your brother at all?

Original poster

Aufish · 02/06/2007 21:10

yeah and to top it all off I got called an old bitch! So he has now been deleted off my MSN list and I want nothing more to do with them, at least I found out so soon into it.

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FioFio · 02/06/2007 21:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

Aufish · 02/06/2007 21:21

Fio, that was my brother who called me that, he seems to think that it is funny to call me all the names under the sun. I am fuming with the shithead of a father, how can he say that he forgot when he only spoke to me 3 days before. I'm better off without him.

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fireflyfairy2 · 02/06/2007 21:49

Why did bro call you a bitch? How sad

Original poster

Aufish · 02/06/2007 21:56

He thinks its funny and that all women are tarts for him to sleep with. He's 42 years old by the way, and he really doesn't respect women in any way though he expects men to respect his daughter or his other sisters. I think this has shown me the way my father's side of the family are and they think its ok, whilst I was bought up by my foster family who taught me everything that I know about life.

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