First day of holidays and neighbour complained about children playing outside

[smileycath]

My new neighbour called round this afternoon to complain about my children playing outside. She is retired but works from home as a translator and needs to concentrate and my children's screaming and football games are making this impossible.

I feel gutted. It's the first day of the summer holidays. I'm a lone parent to three boys aged 6, 8 and 9. We don't have a garden and it's only recently that I've felt able to let them go out with friends on the street. They play on the road below and I can keep an eye on them from the window. They are a bit noisy but there's never more than half a dozen of them and they're not a nightmare.

She suggested that we have a compromise and that they be allowed to play out for half an hour in the morning and half an hour in the afternoon. I couldn't agree to this and she obviously thought I was being unreasonable but honestly when the weather is nice I don't want them stuck in front of screens.

She said they should be in the park and that the street wasn't a playground. Fair enough and we do go to the park a lot and I try to take them out at some point every day but some days we're at home for longer periods and I want them to play out. I'm self-employed working from home too and have to squeeze in a few hours each day and this is often when they play out.

She argued they were old enough to go to the park on their own but my youngest is only six and my eldest is slightly autistic and certainly not able to look after the others. Plus there's a road to cross and somebody was recently stabbed in the park during the day!

My next door neighbour overheard our conversation on the doorstep and said FFS but his children are older and go further afield now. I feel like this woman is not going to let it drop and I hate confrontation. What can I do?

I did suggest the library which is only 5 minutes walk and hotdesking again readily available in town

Well. that's the two things I was going to suggest blown out of the water.

I'm with you OP - too many children spend their lives in front of one screen or another - you do well to encourage them to play outside.

Buy her some ear-plugs.

And what happens when they are told to play further along, and further along again?! You are very grumpy

For a website called mumsnet there is a awful lot of hate here for noisy children. Children play. They make noise. Its as if whole generations came into being aged 50 and hating children. I was a child. My DP was a child. My sister was a child. Shock horror. My parents were children. So was everyone here. And we played outside. Far more than I think we remember.

The hypocrisy around children and noise and activities is immense on this site. Children shouldnt be making noise. Children shouldnt be at home playing computer/console games. Parents shouldnt be manging their childrens activities 100% of the time. Parents should be making sure their children are entertain all of the time to spare the presious neighbours from hearing the noise of children. Its as if the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang should come to Mumsnet land to take the children away.

Kicking a ball against her house isnt right. Screaming and laughing and playing and running and being children is absolutely a childs right do.

OP - forget the child haters. Tell your children to enjoy summer.

Children make noise. Its what they do. Its why I have noise cancelling headphones for when out and a decent white noise playlist when working from home.

I think you are in the wrong here and should not be letting your children play outside her house and certainly not kicking balls near her property. So you get peace and quiet to do your work whilst she does not?
Time to think about other people, not just what works for you.

I too think you shouldn’t let your 6 year old out without adult supervision. For that reason I’d take my kids to the park every day and then work while they are inside.

Yes scottishdiem and yes again,

harriet clearly not but I’m trying to say that is playing outside and making noise during the day really that bad!! Plenty of adults make noise for various reasons during the day (building work etc) and people have to suck it up. Same here

OP you want them to be traffic savvy in a safe space?!

Sorry, it sounds like you've convinced yourself you don't need to supervise because they're learning how to not get run over

Please do not buy her headphones.

Children play out. She needs to get over herself. It is not your problem that she chooses to work from home. If she doesn't like it suggests she rents somewhere nice and quiet on an industrial estate.

Sheesh.

My nephews have a (v heavy) soft football that makes no sound but still does the business/doesnt blow away if you leace it outside. Could be a less noisy concession to make??

Is no one else worried that the child is 6?

Children need to learn that you can’t yell your head off outdoors, whether in hour own garden or in the road.

It’s just bad manners.

Mine play in the garden but I do not allow yelling, hollering or squealing. Laughing, chattering, yes. Normal volume. They are frequently reminded that we have neighbours and that if they can’t be respectful of them, they will come inside.

It’s called manners.

I wouldn't engage. Miserable cowbags.

I hate these "playing on the road" threads. My lovely little niece was killed playing on a quiet close, right outside her house. My brother though that it was safe. Unfortunately the lorry driver didn't know that the road had become a children's playground.

I think you are both being a bit unreasonable. Her for thinking 2x half hour is enough for children to be outside, and you for letting your kids screm on when outside.

Of course its better for them to be geting fresh air than on screens. Maybe ask them to kee it down a bit, but she cannot seriously expect them kept in for the whole holidays.

And they do not play out. I would never allow it but I realise there is huge divergence of opinion on MN over this and it’s partly geographical.

My dc are 6 and 10 and they play in the street - all the dc come out. It's a cul de sac. Luckily no neighbours have complained but I'm not changing what I do for a neighbour. Noise at night? Absolutely I am mindful but in the day my dc can play. If I felt the noise was unacceptable I'd step in but otherwise the outdoors is for all.

i can sympathise. i dont have or want children and i dont enjoy the sound of them screaming/screeching outside, just like i dont enjoy my neighbours dog barking constantly.

are there no gardens at all?

I honestly see both sides, I'm reading this and agreeing with almost every post, for and against.

Her suggesting 1/2 hour twice a day is ridiculous. What a grumpy cow! And an outrageous, controlling suggestion.

However, what's also strong (for me) is that you seem content for your 3 DC to be playing in a way that suits you (you can keep half an eye whilst also working) away from your house but nearer hers, and that's a little unfair.

Do you not have any kind of garden at all? If you did the children would be safer there than on the street (even a quiet one) and the noise would impact on you before your neighbours.

However unreasonable or cheeky your neighbour, the point is these are YOUR children, not hers. She, apparently, doesn't have children at the same age and stage as yours. But you do. You chose to have three. Not in a harsh way, but they are your responsibility. Sorry, because you also sound like you're lovely. I'm not trying to be mean!

It is not your problem that she chooses to work from home. If she doesn't like it suggests she rents somewhere nice and quiet on an industrial estate.

It is not the neighbour's problem that the op chooses to work from home, either. They are not the neighbour's children; why is the onus on the neighbour to find a solution?

You must have very calm water fights @2up2manydown - how do you manage it? Cold water makes my dc shriek. I wouldn't allow it for a long time but it's okay for have fun and squeal sometimes

excuse my stupidity but couldn't she work in another room that's not at the front? does she live in a downstairs flat? Kids make noise its normal you move into a family area there are going to be children - she is the new neighbour - her choice - half an hour twice a day? what she on? No of course the kids must not bounce ball on neighbours wall. maybe use chalk line to ask kids to give a little gap/lee way so they are not to near her house if possible (chalk is great as - when it eventually rains- it will come off) suggest/organise new games to kids that may not be as noisy?

One of the things about summer is that children do make noise outside and it is annoying but they have the right to exist too. She doesn't have the right to keep the entire street silent for her own benefit. She can soundproof her study if she's that bothered. Maybe take the ball off them though.

Sorry to hear that Tamzin
I don't recognise this playing on the road stuff. Maybe because I live in a city, children play in gardens or parks. I couldn't take the risk.

Is no one else worried that the child is 6?

Umm. No. I played in the street that age. And in neighbours gardens. And in friends houses. All within vocal range of my house but still, I was out. Mum was home with younger sister.

Tell your children not to scream, it's unnecessary and annoying. Kicking the ball against other people's walls is annoying too. I understand that children make noise when out playing but it becomes annoying when children start screaming and shouting their heads off.