First day of holidays and neighbour complained about children playing outside

[smileycath]

My new neighbour called round this afternoon to complain about my children playing outside. She is retired but works from home as a translator and needs to concentrate and my children's screaming and football games are making this impossible.

I feel gutted. It's the first day of the summer holidays. I'm a lone parent to three boys aged 6, 8 and 9. We don't have a garden and it's only recently that I've felt able to let them go out with friends on the street. They play on the road below and I can keep an eye on them from the window. They are a bit noisy but there's never more than half a dozen of them and they're not a nightmare.

She suggested that we have a compromise and that they be allowed to play out for half an hour in the morning and half an hour in the afternoon. I couldn't agree to this and she obviously thought I was being unreasonable but honestly when the weather is nice I don't want them stuck in front of screens.

She said they should be in the park and that the street wasn't a playground. Fair enough and we do go to the park a lot and I try to take them out at some point every day but some days we're at home for longer periods and I want them to play out. I'm self-employed working from home too and have to squeeze in a few hours each day and this is often when they play out.

She argued they were old enough to go to the park on their own but my youngest is only six and my eldest is slightly autistic and certainly not able to look after the others. Plus there's a road to cross and somebody was recently stabbed in the park during the day!

My next door neighbour overheard our conversation on the doorstep and said FFS but his children are older and go further afield now. I feel like this woman is not going to let it drop and I hate confrontation. What can I do?

I live in a quiet avenue, kids play out here from about 4 without constant adult supervision. I didn't let mine till he was 5.5 as I felt he couldn't be trusted.
He is now 7 and plays out there with the other kids on his own. I often sit out in the sun in the garden and keep an ear out that he isn't too loud as this can be annoying. Or a go inside and get a few jobs done checking on him through window although I can usually hear his voice so know he is still there.

Your neighbour is being unreasonable. She can't dictate what happens in a public space. I would obviously tell my child to keep their voices down but children have to be able to play. She needs to get some head phones or find so where else to work.

In the seventies there were a lot more playgrounds that have now been concreted over for housing. Kids often have no outside space to play in other than the street.

Personally I'd rather other people's children were in the house on screens rather than screaming outside my house! However I am also totally aware that I'm a miserable git and that's not at all reasonable or realistic. For me it depends on the behaviour of the children, I live between 2 families all with young children under the age of 8. One side 3 kids, quite noisy but doesn't bother me at all as its just the noise of children playing and enjoying themselves. Other side 2 kids drives me nuts as they are constantly screaming and shouting at top volume, whining and arguing and the parents seem to be totally uninterested in managing their behaviour and the noise. Perhaps you need to ask yourself which camp yours fall into OP.

Hm. I feel for you, OP, it sounds as though you thought you'd sorted the summer and now it's a mess.

If she needs perfect or near-perfect silence to concentrate on her work, which I can understand, she's being unreasonable and she needs to find a compromise e.g. working in another part of her house or headphones.

I would struggle with relentless high-volume kid noise all day long, but wouldn't mind it periodically as you describe. I'm more amenable to young children noise than the older ones who tend to get a bit sweary and rude.

My advice here is to keep the conversation friendly and neighbourly; the more she actually likes you, the more flexible she'll be.

A bit of compromise on both sides but that is harsh. I hear my neighbours children and would never ask them to be quiet! A ball bouncing against he property isn’t great. However headphones and earplugs could help her a lot. It is great that your children are playing outside and they do have older siblings with them. Hope you find an amicable solution! Sounds like she is stressed and quite possibly tired. Many aren’t sleeping well with this hot weather.