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Original poster

To ask what you’d tell your 30 year old self?

106 replies

Gravitatewhere12 · 22/07/2018 18:49

It was my 30th birthday yesterday and today I’m feeling thoroughly depressed for a number of reasons although I know I’ve got everything in the world to look forward to.

I thought it might be interesting to hear what people would say to their 30 year old self if they could. I don’t want to look back with any regrets.

OP posts:
Juststopit · 22/07/2018 18:52

I’d tell me age 30: leave your husband , he’s never going change and he’ll continue to make you unhappy.

I waited another 15 years and my happiness level now is probably 100% more than it was then.

And watch your spending! You don’t really need all that stuff!

And no your not fat your gorgeous! Believe in your self.

Now mid forties I m so much more confident and content. 30 was hard.

EmpressWeaponisedClitoris · 22/07/2018 18:52

You are about to do something REALLY REALLY STUPID.

Get out of the relationship. Do NOT give up your flat. STAY SINGLE.

Lilacwine1 · 22/07/2018 18:54

I would tell myself to walk, and not look back. You can survive on your own, even with two small children.

VladmirsPoutine · 22/07/2018 18:57

Really very seriously think about finances and money-management! Can't stress that enough! Start saving if you're not already.

Take a closer look at your job; at this stage you should have a fairly good idea of your strengths/weaknesses and the direction you'd like to head it. Try and forge ahead.

FlyingDandelionSeed · 22/07/2018 18:58

Having kids is going to be so much more awesome than you think. Even the puky pooey baby stage. You just need to go for it.

Also... ditch the boyfriend who thinks 'he might be ready for kids in five years' (Spoiler! He will never be ready) and find someone on the same page.

fieryginger · 22/07/2018 18:58

I had just lost my daughter to cancer when I turned 30. That period of time is a blur.

DieAntword · 22/07/2018 18:59

Well I’m only 32 so it wasn’t that long ago. Sadly any good advice that I’m not putting into practice I’m probably not emotionally capable of putting into practice. This week’s lottery numbers maybe?

MissusGeneHunt · 22/07/2018 19:01

@fieryginger Flowers

Be kind to yourself.
Be savvy with money.
Laugh a lot.
Forgive people.
Be happy.

Pinkandpurplehairedlady · 22/07/2018 19:02

I’d tell myself that there are rough times ahead, hang in there and things will get better. By the time you’re 40 you’ll be happily divorced with 2 amazing children, a stable home and a job you love.

Auntpetunia2015 · 22/07/2018 19:02

Leave him now before you have kids! It’s not good now and it’s not gonna get any better..who give a fuck what your mum will think! I wasted 18 more years before I decided I didn’t give a shit what anyone else thought.

Acrasia · 22/07/2018 19:03

Dear 30 year old me,

So I know you are broken right now, and that you haven’t left the house for seven months, but it will get better. You won’t believe me now, but in ten years time you will be living in a different country, be fluent in a second language, and the most wonderful man will have just proposed to you.

When you’re ready, which will be very soon, ask for help. You may not feel brave but you will be, bravery is about doing things you’re scared of, even if most people don’t think twice about doing them every day. PTSD may never leave you entirely, but you can take it day by day and win most of the battles.

Also, your friends miss you and are worried about you, and they will welcome you back as soon as you’re ready.

Lots of love, 40 year old me.

Treacletoots · 22/07/2018 19:03

Don't marry him! Kick his lazy ass out. You don't need his constant selfish fuckwit ways and you can get a better job and thrive.

The next 5 years are going to be a blast and you will meet prince charming when you are ready.

30 is nothing. Just don't spend so much on clothes.

claraschu · 22/07/2018 19:04

Keep working- don't spend too long as a SAHP. Don't move away from your family in order to live in the UK.

EmpressWeaponisedClitoris · 22/07/2018 19:05

Fiery Flowers

It looks like a lot of us would tell our younger selves the same thing. I know that's what my DSis would tell herself too. Get away. Get out NOW.

juneybean · 22/07/2018 19:06

Don't give up on the diet. I'm only 33 but have put 2 stone on since I was 30 that I'd worked hard to lose back then and I can't get it back off.

Invisimamma · 22/07/2018 19:10

I’m 30 this year so reading with interest and for advice.

So sad at how many people have wasted years with men not worth their time. I can’t imagine any one but dp at my side to grow old with and explore the world (even though we have our fair share of shitty days and he can be a moody B).

Original poster
Gravitatewhere12 · 22/07/2018 19:11

PTSD may never leave you entirely, but you can take it day by day and win most of the battles. I’ve recently been diagnosed with PTSD and this really struck a chord with me. It gives me hope that there’ll come a day it isn’t as bad.

I’m single and have been for a long while and was feeling lonely and low tonight, but judging by a lot of these replies perhaps being single isn’t too bad.

OP posts:
LEMtheoriginal · 22/07/2018 19:12

Hold on - its going to be a tough ride

Chrisinthemorning · 22/07/2018 19:16

Start ttc, it will take ages.

EmpressWeaponisedClitoris · 22/07/2018 19:18

I’m single and have been for a long while and was feeling lonely and low tonight, but judging by a lot of these replies perhaps being single isn’t too bad.

I'm happier & healthier single than I ever was in a relationship, & I'm staying that way for good!

I think I'd say to you, just don't rush into anything? If you meet the right person, great - but nothing is worse than being stuck with the wrong person.

MisguidedAngel · 22/07/2018 19:19

LTB. He's not a bastard, but he's not right for you and he's never going to change.

ConciseandNice · 22/07/2018 19:20

Two kids are enough. Stop faking orgasms.

ThinkingCat · 22/07/2018 19:20

"30 is not old. When you are heading towards 60 you will realise that 30 is a brilliant age to be. You have the opportunity to do anything really - you have ridden the rollercoaster of your twenties and are in prime position to go forward. You can take control over your life and your future. You are an empowered adult."

JeanBodel · 22/07/2018 19:21

30 to 40 are the hardest years. Hang in there. It gets better after 40.

pennycarbonara · 22/07/2018 19:22

Read about aspergers as something that could apply to yourself and several family members. Stop beating yourself up for certain things (which I would later realise is due to this)

Stop throwing money around and hang on to every penny you can. You will seriously need it in a couple of years. (major health issues but wouldn't say that bit due to possibly inducing dread.) Get properly in tune with all the credit crunch economising you like reading about while feeling like you're exempt from it. It's the perfect time to start feeling like being frugal is actually kind of cool.

Make one exception: go on some short breaks to Europe over the next 18 months.

Don't bother with a certain course.

Don't go full time on a certain job, instead learn /improve skills you can use to work from home.

Don't buy that house. Here are characteristics of what you will need.

Don't waste so much time on a certain man. But don't ignore him altogether: it'll also lead to a great friendship with someone you already know slightly.

Some stuff about parents.

And of course future events to bet on to win money :D