To ask what you’d tell your 30 year old self?

[Gravitatewhere12]

It was my 30th birthday yesterday and today I’m feeling thoroughly depressed for a number of reasons although I know I’ve got everything in the world to look forward to.

I thought it might be interesting to hear what people would say to their 30 year old self if they could. I don’t want to look back with any regrets.

I’d tell me age 30: leave your husband , he’s never going change and he’ll continue to make you unhappy.

Me too.

Also that your mother was an abusive narcissistic old bag and not to believe what she tells you

That you will be ok on your own even though bastard husband has stolen all your money and left you broke, in debt and homeless.

That 30 isn't old and is just the start of an amazing journey to find out who you really are and what you really want from life

That the pain of not being able to have children fades and eventually you will realise that life can be fulfilling and rich without them

That some people are cunts and you don't have to pander to them

I'd have loved to felt reassured that it was all going to turn out so well, but I was making the right calls and at a pace that was right for me.

Leave now. Don't wait another 11 years.

You are about to get into your first proper relationship. It will be amazing for the first three years, then you will make a series of stupid decisions that will result in you being back living with your mum at the age of 35 🙄🙄

However your relationship with your mum is now 100% better, largely due to her being in therapy for the past three years 😬👍

I'd tell myself not to stop with the baby I was currently pregnant with and to go onto have the third child I would long for as my dh would move out in the next 4 years and I would always wish for that third baby even though I would love my 2dc more than I could ever imagine.
Now 41, single and too late

I’d say don’t stop going to Slimming World. Just keep going for maintenance. I’m an idiot.

Don’t be so desperate for a child you rush things. You can never fully leave the man you have a child with, it’s the most important decision a woman makes. Have the baby alone. If you ever end up in an abusive relationship ignore what other people might think and just go.

Always save some money and everything will be ok in the end, things work themselves out.....
don't overthink!!!

Moisturise. Please moisturise.

And yes, he is a self centred wanker. There is no redeeming quality and it’s his loss. But don’t worry, you will be fucking ace at single parenting

I would have told myself to stand my ground and put my needs first for a change, - for the sake of my dwindling mental health.

Stop taking advice from your mother - she does not have your best interests at heart.

That in 21 days (from the day i turned 30) you are going to meet the most amazing man and he’s the true love of your life.

Lose the baby weight and don't spend your maternity leave eating cake!!!! I'm only 33 now but I'm now 8 weeks pp with DD2 and have lots of weight to lose because I was still overweight when I got pregnant.

Dear 30 year old me,

I know you have been single for nearly 10 yeara but stop thinking that you are getting old and sat on a dusty shelf. Being single, young and free is actually a good place. Don't settle because you think you should, know you are worth it and wait for the right man.

Don't hang onto friends who are hard work and drain you, there is no benefit.

Start saving, 40 mind seem ancientnow but you will need savings.

Don't be so hard on yourself, you are worth love and good people.

Oh, and do your pelvic floors every day!

There’s a rough time coming but it’s going to make you realise how amazing your family and friends are.

What you think is the worst, that thing you’re so very frightened of? It’s going to happen: you’re going to lose him and you’ll feel like you’ll never get over it. But you will, and much more quickly than you could ever have imagined! He isn’t who you think he is.

I’d tell me:

Stop spending money you don’t have. It’ll catch up with you and by then there’ll be nothing to cut out of your budget

That’s it really. In other areas my life has gone from strength to strength, the money thing is keeping me up at night.

Lose the damn weight. You’ve already lost your 20’s!

Your life is about to change forever by marrying DH (in a good way)
Unfortunately your life will never be the same again when you lose your dd in tragic circumstances. But you will learn to live again.

Start saving. Dump your bullying partner. Move close to your family. Don't drink too much. Believe in yourself and be very kind to yourself. Stop criticising yourself. Enjoy the time before babies arrive. Choose a partner really carefully. Enjoy being slim and accept that you look nice. Live in the moment and grab opportunities that come your way. ENJOY LIFE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN!

Get proper help for your eating disorder and depression. You deserve to help yourself not just others.

When you do you'll be in a fit state to meet the love of your life and have your own family!!! It's amazing xx

I wish my mother would have therapy! @louderthan

Think hard about whether you want a family. You're in a great relationship and it's all to play for. Don't leave it another 10 years! (OP I have been inspired to create another thread as I'm a decade on from you!)