DH doesn’t respect me

[Mummytowooter]

DH likes to go out with work friends every now and again. I have no problem with that but...
He always comes home in a state!
In addition he’s the boss and I really think he should ensure he maintains his professionalism!
When he comes home he;

1. Absolutely reeks of alcohol
2. Usually wakes DD (she’s 5)
3. Vomits loudly (sonic she isn’t awake at this point she now will be)
4. He’s such a state with a hangover the next day he cannot function and as a family we literally lose the entire day!
5. He knows my mum was an alcoholic when I was very young and I struggle when he’s in a state as it brings back horrific memories for me (the smell triggers something in me)

I admit in the past I’ve had issues with jealously following him kissing another woman and i’ve worked really hard on myself to move past it. I do trust him so that’s not an issue. He has asked me previously not to bug him while he’s out-just a text here or there and I’m ok with that but still communication on his part is non-existent. It’s 23:21pm and I still don’t know what time he intends on getting home! He said he would call “in a minute” and that was an hour ago!!! I need to know AIBU?

Recovery position and Give him some dioralyte,and analgesia
Talk when he’s sober

My DH goes out once every few months. He can't just have a few drinks and come home, he goes all out. He usually stays at a friends house for the night and comes home the next morning. I've just accepted it now. I trust him that there's no other women etc. Although I'd rather he didn't, it keeps him sane and happy and so although I'd rather he didn't I just accept it now. It's hard as means I do t get help with the children the next morning but he does make up for it by taking them all out to the park or something so I get some child free time to myself another day.

Does your DD have any particularly noisy toys you can get out in the morning?

Tomorrow will be mine and dd’s day. She wants to go out and has a list so she and I will make the best of it

On a serious note,does he know about your difficult childhood op
Is he aware he is triggering painful memories
I’d explore that, and the impact his behaviour has on you

I’ll give her back the doc mcstuffins keyboard

He knows about my childhood

my mum and I still have a difficult relationship and he’s aware of everything

Agree to disagree I guess, really don't see it as that much of an infringement when he's acting so selfishly and speaking to him about this before hasn't worked but that's OP choice who has already said she won't be doing that.

Just hope no one films you without your consent sammy

He’s in

Hi op, I'm sorry your husband is being such an arse but it sounds like binge drinking when he's doing this, and while people don't generally think of binge drinking as being an alcoholic it is a problem with alcohol in it's own right and he needs to address that. He cant keep putting you and DD through this.

How is he?

Lipstick I’m struggling to find what is so dreadful about getting photographic evidence of a loved one to show them (and only them) the reality of their behaviour.
People who are so out of it due to drink and drugs have no memory whatsoever of how appalling their behaviour was.

He’s definitely a binge drinker. Not sure how he is yet. He’s managed to let the dogs out and from what I can hear I think he’s making coffee. I’m still in with dd and I’m not sure I’m going to come out yet. I might just sleep with her tonight.

Hope yr dd wants to make the most of her sunday too and gets up nice and early to say a big HELLO to her Dad and then tells him he smells! Dcs are good at being honest about those things!

She will definitely tell him he stinks and good on her for doing so. I love the honesty of children.

Don't blame you OP. Keep yr head down.

This will be around 6 am again 😂

X post. Yeah me too. They say what you want to say! Night OP.

Make sure he’s locked up and the dogs are in.
Don’t sleep with DD. Go to bed as usual but don’t engage in conversation, he won’t remember.
Get up tomorrow as normal, and when he’s sober (but hopefully feeling like shite) have the conversation

Goodnight philomenafogg. Thank you all! ❤️

You need to get a grip on things here.. not sure if your husband is going the way of an alkie at all. hope not,,, but a partner who drinks, and then drinks non stop,is down the road to nowhere. It must be awful,if you have young children in this scenario... so don''t know if you can talk about things with your husband, and tell him how it is affecting your life.

He’s having trouble getting the puppy in so I’m gonna have to go and help 😂😂. I’ve decided there’s fuck all chance of me sleeping on this floor! I’ve had enough after 10 min! 😂

I’ll talk to him tomorrow. Not the right time now.