To just want my DH to answer the question he's been asked?

[Zintox]

This drives me mad.

Just now he said there was no melon left. I said "who ate it?" He replied "there were only three pieces left."

He does this all the time. I ask a question and he answers a completely different one.

How can I make him stop? Does anyone else's DH do this?

My husband does this too.

Anyone who thinks they’re being helpful by not answering the question put to them but somehow using their superior mind reading skills to give the answer the poor deluded questioner didn’t have the the wit to ask for, you’re really not being helpful, just really, really annoying. Often you get it wrong, which means the other person has to waste time explaining why that’s not want they want to know. Just answer the bloody question. We know what we want to know and why we want to know it better than you.

Yep. Mine gives long winded answer. Not concise so I have to ask again. Worse still ...
Dh:can you remember when I bought those jeans? Me: no. Dh: was it in march? Me: don't know. Dh: roughly though? Me: still DON'T KNOW! Dh: ok don't know why you're being like that! Arrrrrrrrrgh!!!

Yep. Mine gives long winded answer. Not concise so I have to ask again. Worse still ...
Dh:can you remember when I bought those jeans? Me: no. Dh: was it in march? Me: don't know. Dh: roughly though? Me: still DON'T
KNOW! Dh: ok don't know why you're being like that! Arrrrrrrrrgh!!!

And even after all that conversation, the when he bought the jeans is immaterial. Because those jeans have faded, still look great, fit better than ever now, whatever it is that has no bearing on when they were bought.

It's not DP who does this, a few other people however drive me up the wall.
a friend who tells me a great story, but only by going down rabbit warren of what day it was. Is it material to the story if it happened Wednesday or Thursday?

Another friend who must get the names correct. For people I don't even know. It's not relevant if his name is Peter or Paul. I have never clapped eyes on them. If by some tiny chance I bump into him, recognize him, am rude enough to mention this embarrassing story, his name will be the least of my problems.
Slightly off topic there, sorry

I just want to say to long winded people, ‘skip to,the end part and if anything needs clarification, I will ask questions’. I say it in my head and it feels fine, but out loud it just seems really rude.

Philomena and Floof my DH does both of those things too!

I'm a saint.

Sooner or later, he will want to ask you a question. Respond with another question, such as "Why do you ask?"

zintox thought of you earlier had a long conversation about what to have for lunch but kept my saintlyness by just asking so what do u want then tuna or cheese? I really couldn't go into the whole conversation cos it would then be dinner time! He even asked dcs at one point what to have! I said don't ask them! At least I know I'm not suffering this alone and my sense of humour is my savior or do I mean hysteria?!

Mine says yes/no when that’s not a viable answer eg

me: “do you want an apple or an orange?”

Dh: “yes”

WHICH FUCKING ONE???

He s and other mentioned guilty parties sound like a Two Ronnies sketch where they answer the next question before you've asked it!

Mine repeats all questions back to me like a fecking echo! Or asks a question that i ha e just answered. I swear he’s like a dog as in he can’t hear the pitch of my voice 😂😂

Confess to having looked at this thread because I hoped it was an update on yesterday’s one where husband took a candle into bathroom 😂😂

My DH does this!
A recent conversation went like this
Me:what time are we leaving to go to X tomorrow?
Him: it starts at 10 but we need to be there for 9.
Me:what time are we leaving?
Him: it’s x miles away
Me: what time are we leaving
Him: it should take an hour to get there
Me: ok so when are we leaving, 8?
Him: not sure probably want to be there early and leave extra time for traffic
Me ok 7.30?
Him maybe

This is a regular occurrence it’s so frustrating!

Oh god mine an IT bod too 😂😂

Oh forty I think we are married to the same man 😂😂

My work colleague does this it is so frustrating. One day when I was pregnant and very hormonal, he gave me one to many “politicians answers” and I ended up very firmly asking him to answer the question I asked!

My DH does it all the time. I tell him if he was interviewed by the police they'd arrest him for obstruction!

I just wait till he's finished then I ask the question again in a more patient tone.

This the head is very enlightening in a weird way.

What @Dappledlight said was really something I hadn’t thought about before - that someone’s past would affect their communication like that, and out of fear.

But also I think we all need to check our instincts here and realise that we really do have ‘institutionalised sexism’ fundamentally affecting us! That so many would jump on the OP and accuse her of all sorts of nagging, passive aggressive and loaded questioning because she asked a simple question!!! I’m astonished.

OP if you can’t ask ‘who ate the melon’ you might as well become one of those surrendered wives and never ask anything of your husband!

I’m also astonished at myself because I’ve interpreted a whole load of stuff about how women do the ‘wife work’ and burden their brain with a whole shedload of information about how much melon there is and when little Annabelle has a doctors appointment etc etc - while the menfolk don’t feel any need to monitor muiltiple variables in their familes’ lives.

Perfectly fine to ask the question, and perfectly irritating of your DP OP.

Now let me tell you about my parents need to ask multiple nano-detailed questions about what I want for tea (how many potatoes? Shall I peel the carrots, you won’t want much will you?) from another room

Different people's brains work differently. This doesn't make either way wrong.

Though if he works in IT, and has communications difficulties, I guess I might as well do the typical MN things and speculate as to whether her might possibly have a few ASD traits?

Ghost my DH does that too. Only repeats the last couple of words - which were the ones I heard anyway. Drives me nuts...

My husband answers like this:

Me- it’s hot in here
Him- it’s not cold.

For example.
It’s annoying.

The husbands are probably scared of telling you they ate it as the question is so accusational!! All you people annoyed by these little things give yourself and your other halves a break and either let it go or let them go!! You probably grate on them too!!!

My DH does exactly the same & is getting worse with age! I reckon he deflects in case he’s blamed for something, which drives me more bonkers as he won’t own up to anything 😬. Forgot to mention, he prefers to blame the kids- which drives me insane!

Cbuss please read the OP’s posts before you attempt mind-reading.

Nocool - he’s very much NT. I’m the autistic one.

But OP can ask "Who ate the melon?" - she did. It's just not what she actually wanted to know though, is it?

I think people analyse too much, too often and apply pigeon-hole type logic to things that are really quite simple and with a bit of understanding/give and take, possibly to interpret accurately and the relationship could rub along quite nicely. Both sexes can be irritating but doesn't everybody check communication compatibility before the 'I do' bit?

Or we could leap straight to 'surrendered wives' and wonder why we married in the first place?