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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dirty messy room disaster

116 replies

Helpmehelpmyself1 · 20/07/2018 21:58

AIBU yo ask for some support tonight? I know I can’t sleep and I need to do this so i don’t mind doing it over night. Bare in mind, no children so ni one is living in these conditions but me.

My room is dirty and messy. The most it possibly could be. I struggle with depression and I don’t know how I’ve let it get this monumentally bad. I’m talking dirty dishes, rotting food, every thing I own and clothes covering the floor.

Please give me some support I know this is my fault but I need some encouragement to tackle this as it’s just not healthy to live in

OP posts:
SassitudeandSparkle · 20/07/2018 22:00

Hi, no need to do it overnight if you don't want to but you could make a start before you get some sleep. Can you get a bin bag and put in the stuff that obviously needs to go like the food and any other rubbish? Take the dishes to the kitchen?

iamapixiebutnotaniceone · 20/07/2018 22:01

Grab a bin liner and get the rubbish out first, strip the bed and throw all of the clothes into it. Sort the clothes and clear whatever is on the sides and floors 👍🏻 Good luck! Mine can get bad too sometimes Flowers

Seymourcrelborne · 20/07/2018 22:01

Set yourself just one target of what you are going to complete tidying wise. Even if that’s just move the dirty plates to the sink. I find setting myself just one target a day and usually completing more than that helps

Original poster
Helpmehelpmyself1 · 20/07/2018 22:02

I’ve started with one bin bag but then felt I was struggling already. I’ve gathered all the dishes together. But I honestly haven’t Even touched the floor. It’s piles of rubbish. I’m such a fuck up but this time I’m determined to do it.

So many times I’ve given up and just got into bed and slept in the filth. It’s so bad.

OP posts:
Janusrock · 20/07/2018 22:04

Write a list of things you need to do and do it in order, ticking things off as you go. Focus on 2 feelings- how great you will feel tomorrow if it's done- and the feeling you will have tomorrow if you don't do it

SlimGin · 20/07/2018 22:04

Do what you can but don't exhaust yourself. Start with the food and the plates as it'll feel much cleaner once they're gone. Chuck a big chunk of clothes in the wash, the rest in the washing bin. Get the bin liners and throw out anything you don't need. Remember sleep is important, so don't spend your whole night tidying. Shower afterwards so you feel nice. Look after yourself Flowers

Kneehighinshit · 20/07/2018 22:05

Visualise how amazing it'll be when it's done. Sick on some motivating music. Plan breaks (taking dishes to kitchen- make a snack/ have a brew before heading back into it)

Honestly just go for it and picture yourself in a beautiful clean and tidy room as you go. Good luck!

TwoBlueShoes · 20/07/2018 22:05

Set yourself a challenge to go and pick up 10 things and put them in the trash.

If you want to do another 10 things after that, you can. If not, take a break and do another 10 things later on.

I really recommend the Unfuck your habitat book. Totally non-judgmental and really supportive of people with health issues or who just got overwhelmed with things.

JuniperBeer · 20/07/2018 22:05

Have you got anywhere else you can put stuff? Can you put literally everything into bin bags. Take it out. Clear your entire floor space. Then have a lovely clear room to give it a quick clean.
Then, you can take a bag at a time when you’re ready and sort it out.
When you’re clearing it don’t sort it. Just put it straight in the bags. It’s not quicker but it’s definitely easier on the headspace. Get it all out. Then so much easier to put back piece by piece.

Original poster
Helpmehelpmyself1 · 20/07/2018 22:10

I can sleep tomorrow as I’m not working or anything. Definitely would love to have this done by the morning.

Thank you for all the lovely messages they’re really really helping

OP posts:
TwoBlueShoes · 20/07/2018 22:14

You see, it isn’t helpful to stay up all night cleaning as tomorrow you’ll be tired and it will overwhelm you again.

Try to do 30 minutes before bed and then start tomorrow when you are well-rested.

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 20/07/2018 22:15

21 months ago I had the same thread...even down to the depression...I also had mice in there. It was fucking atrocious. A disgrace. I was so ashamed with myself. I posted under a namechange as I was so ashamed but I’m not ashamed now. It was awful but I sorted it

Over a weekend, I gutted the room until it was spotless and mice free. I had to sleep on the sofa for a week as I threw the bed out and wanted to make sure the mice were gone but after that it became my sanctuary. It still gets a bit messy now but I just set some time aside every couple of weeks to give it a proper tidy. That thread and that weekend were life changing.

Take a bin bag and fill it with all the rubbish you can. Don’t worry about charity shopping stuff, just chuck it out (wasteful? Yes unbelievably so but I personally just needed it gone, not hanging around). Do it bit by bit-set targets eg work solidly for one episode of X, don’t stop until 2 bin bags are filled etc
Leave your phone in a different part of the house if like me you’re likely to fiddle on it and waste time
Put all clothes in the hallway, then go through them into dirty and clean, immediately put any clean away
Put all cups and plates in the kitchen in one go (honestly? I threw a bunch away because I couldn’t deal with that shit)

You can totally do this, it seems an impossible task but it’s totally doable and you’ll, quite rightly, feel so accomplished!!

And tomorrow or Sunday when it’s done, go buy yourself some new bedding or a gorgeous air freshener or something for your room as a pat on the back!

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 20/07/2018 22:17

And you’re not a fuck up. Mine was worse and I’m not a fuck up!

Sometimes life gets on top of us and we need to sort it, thats totally fine.

Be ruthless, full those bin bags and bit by bit it’ll get done and you’ll feel ace!

TwoBlueShoes · 20/07/2018 22:17

I didn’t mean to be negative though. If you want to go for it, go for it. Just sleep is so important for our health, physical and mental.

There is also an UFYH closed Facebook group where everyone is really supportive and non-judgmental.

Cupoteap · 20/07/2018 22:20

Get rid of food, rubbish and plates. Then if you want to carry on pick a small area and do that. I do the top of the bedside table first to make a good start when it's all too much in one go x

RachelfromFriends · 20/07/2018 22:28

I read a great article on depression and mess a long time ago.

She just started with having a nice bed. So somewhere nice to sleep and because a bed is big it instantly is something nice to focus on

UpstartCrow · 20/07/2018 22:36

It would be better to get some sleep tonight and have a go at cleaning your room tomorrow. Try to maintain healthy sleep patterns.

Can you put some music on while you do it?

IHopeYouStepOnALegoPiece · 20/07/2018 22:38

Personally I would crack on now, you’re in the mindset that is ready to do it now. Waking up tomorrow and getting started is a lot harder

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 20/07/2018 22:41

My lovely MIL used to use the expression "tidy mess"
Get a bin bag.
chuck ever single thing you can in it. be ruthless.
then make a tidy mess.
one bin bag for rubbish.
one foe charity shop.
one to keep.
move through it.
you so can do it!!!
One thing at a time

AWomanIsAnAdultHumanFemale · 20/07/2018 22:43

I’ve started with one bin bag but then felt I was struggling already.

If you struggle then stop, take a break, get a drink, watch a tv show. Then see how you feel about starting again, you may feel you can’t do anymore which is absolutely fine, a good nights sleep is not to be under estimated.

checkingforballoons · 20/07/2018 22:46

You made a start, well done!

Original poster
Helpmehelpmyself1 · 20/07/2018 22:47

I’m a still going with it. Feeling positive about it

OP posts:
Bambamber · 20/07/2018 22:48

Don't put pressure on yourself to get it done in one go. Aim to do 15 mins worth of work, then take a break and re-evaluate if you can manage another 15 mins. Get the worst bits done first, any rotting food and overflowing bins would be a good place to start. Just bare in mind even if you're in the right mindset to get it done now, you may feel a lot worse tomorrow both mentally and physically if you've been up all night. You can do this Smile

Kittykat93 · 20/07/2018 22:49

You can do it op!!! You'll feel like a massive weight has been lifted off your shoulders when you've finished. It will improve how you feel so so much. I struggle to keep my house tidy and it does get on top of me sometimes. Since having my baby I feel I have to keep it to a good standard and god don't I feel better for it. Take it in small chunks. Chuck a shit load of stuff away if you don't need it. Keep focused on the end result Thanks

speakout · 20/07/2018 22:49

Rubbish first
Kitchen and dishes second.
Don't start on washing laundry until the kitchen is clean it will complicate things.
You need a clear sink and kitchen to clean other areas.
Any laundry can be piled up to wash once kitchen is tidy.