To be terrified that he won't believe me?

[didyouseetheflaresinthesky]

I'm currently having CBT for anxiety/depression. I've done 4 sessions and it isn't helping and in our last session he was asking me questions to do with the way I relate to people and I was getting quite frustrated because I didn't know the answer. I was chewing over it this morning and it it hit me like a tank. I know the answer, I know what it all goes back to. Everything just slotted neatly together.

When I was a 9 there was a one off incident of sexual abuse. No one ever found out, I didn't even think it particularly affected me and I never told a living soul, even continued to have contact with my abuser for a further year.

If I tell my therapist about this epiphany, what if he doesn't believe me? I haven't said anything in 4 sessions, its all been about anxiety so far. Until yesterday I didn't even think it bothered me, it was just a vaguely disturbing childhood memory. Though I do think of it more as his daughter gets closer to the age I was. I don't think she is at risk, he was only a teen at the time and I think he was more misguided than anything.

Anyway what my question is amongst all that rambling is do you think I should tell my therapist? Or keep it shut and just deal? Will he believe me? Will he think I'm just looking for sympathy?

To be honest the idea of having to talk about it with someone new is making me feel ill. It really can't be avoided though as current therapist doesn't even have the training to deal with issues like this, though he has done very well so far. He's trained in low intensity CBT for issues like anxiety and depression, phobias, OCD etc

I thought as much when I first met him, actually because he is very young, he looks about 12, and seems to have frequent supervision meetings so I'm guessing he is in training. Long story short, I HAVE to force myself through the whole conversation again and I'm dreading it. And there's a waiting list. Just so I can have time to get good and stressed beforehand.

Sorry you're feeling like this, but it will get better. You did the right thing telling him, even though it had brought up so much shit that you'd rather not think about.

Would be tell the new therapist maybe? Would that make it easier for you?

"seems to have frequent supervision meetings so I'm guessing he is in training"

Just a small point - all counsellors are required to have regular clinical supervision sessions, at a minimum of monthly but it's usually weekly or fortnightly for counsellors with higher caseloads.