Is this a racist thing to say - (...not by me.....)

[WhatThePuck]

“Generally Mixed race children are the most adorable”

Mixed race people and other people of colour often are often victim of fetishism so I think it's quite annoying when people make them out to be cuter or more beautiful than other races. But it's more casual ignorance than malice.

• NOUN a person who shows or feels discrimination or prejudice against people of other races, or who believes that a particular race is superior to another.*

That is way too simplistic.

People display causal racism and conscious/unconscious bias a lot, and it can be hurtful to be on the receiving end of it. Even if the intention is well meant. It doesn't mean it will be well received.

I have a colleague from the West Indies, who was told by someone that he was 'a credit to his community'. This was meant as a compliment by the person who said it.

According to the definition above, it doesn't fit as 'racism'. But how can it not be?

It suggests his 'community' are generally pretty shit, but he stands out as doing quite well. Would you say, 'you're a credit to your community' to a white person? It wouldn't occur to you.

The 'mixed race kids are more attractive' trope is along the same lines, IMO.

Yeah as others have said it is fetishising and othering so it’s racist. However i don’t think everyone who says this is necessarily intending any harm - in many cases they just haven’t thought about it that deeply and probably think it’s a nice thing to say. Many years ago I used to say things like this and I cringe when I think about it now.

It always comes across as a bit patronising and virtue-signalling to me. Had someone say it about my DSGD when she was a toddler.

"Oh, she's so cute. Mixed race children do seem to get the best in looks from both sides, don't they?"

If she'd just stopped at 'Oh she's so cute' (which DSGD was and still is - though I may be biased) I'd have wholeheartedly agreed and walked away with a big proud SGM grin but the seeming need to qualify their 'compliment' is actually really othering.

This statement could only elicit a "compared to what?" raised eyebrow response from me, of course it is offensive!

It probably is meant with the very best of intentions but I think it falls into the ‘natural rhythm’ bracket.

I don't think it's racist, and I think it's based on some biology: we are predisposed to find healthy genes attractive, the healthiest genes are from a wide gene pool (reduced risk of duplicate bad genes) the widest genes are from opposing ethnicities.

I am mixed race and I absolutely hated it when I was younger when white women (no offence but it's typically white woman) would say how cute it was cause of the tanned skin and the gold curly hair, blah blah. They always said the same crap. I personally find that comment very uncomfortable. Usually, the people who come out with lines like that are white women that then make a fetish out of black men so that they can have their cute little mixed race babies.... I'm just going by my experiences but that's what I've learnt.

Whether it's intended or not, whether malicious or not, @Candyflip is right - it's a micro aggression and therefore a form of racism. It could be argued to be a mild form of racism, but racism is no longer as straightforward as overt discrimination and name-calling. A 'compliment' can still be racist because it stereotypes and generalises.

It’s fetishising them and making them Other and Generic.

Mixed race is the ‘acceptable form of non-whiteness’.

Not rasict
But it’s fetishising mixed raced children as a mother of mixed children I don’t like it as the subtext means darker children are not as good looking

Children of all races are stunning and all races not so

I would never go up to a white mother of a white child and say

White children are by far the most amazing looking it’s odd

So you really have to have a hard look and think why you would do it for a mixed raced child

everythings racist now. or wacist as I prefer to call it.

or homophobic.

or transphobic.

or offensive.

or .... just beam me up scotty to get away from all this total shit.

its like we got rid of the witch trials, but we gotta replace it somehow, but now its the Liberal Morons who have invented a new intolerance and thought-police

I would say it is not appropriate to say, as it is objectifying to the person involved, and also inappropriate to make personal remarks anyway. However, I have to admit every mixed race baby or child I have ever met has been gorgeous, so maybe there is something to Well’s gene pool theory? Or have we just become culturally conditioned to find certain skin/ hair/ features attractive and is that part of aforementioned fetishisation? But is it better than the blonde haired blue eyed stereotypical attractive child of the 70s day? May be overthinking this!

Tl:dr, don’t say anything about how people look!

Wasn't there a TV ad a few years back that had a similar message? I can't even remember what it was for but it did cause raised eyebrows at the time.

DS was absolutely adorable - but them most kids are very cute when they are little.

It's one of those stereotypes that's meant to be positive but is still making sweeping generalisations isn't it? Like how black men are super athletic and black women all sassy and hilarious. It's not intended to be hurtful or harmful but it's still perpetuating a stereotypes that contribute to a culture which is harmful overall. It's uncomfortably fetishizing imo.

i have frankly no idea if this is racist, but it is fucking dumb. Puppies and kittens are the cutest, human babies are weird looking and look like mini-alien.

One race has an attribute others don't so yes racist.

It's not a microaggression because microaggression is imaginary, but it is racist.

Agree with PP the lumping of my DC into a box called “mixed” as if they are all the same or are this weird other exotic thing

And that you CBA to notice anything singular about my DC apart from their appearance

Then yes to the weirdness of “where is their DF from” being used as a conversation opener by strangers when walking along the street

As someone who has a mixed race child I wouldn’t see it as so. However, have been on the receiving end of horrible people being racist about my life choices.

There is the potential to offend anyone with any comment and I think that you have to start looking at the intent. X

It's not a nice comment, because it implies that something has been improved by mixing, which wasn't worthy of mention before.

I wouldn't call it racist but colourist - colourism is a big problem for many people especially young women of colour.

I have mixed race kids, and have had this said a lot.

To me, a white parent. I don’t know if it has been said to DH, I must ask. Because how would it sound telling a POC that their child is better looking because they have a parent not like them?

Always said by white people, not once by a black person. Not to me, anyway.

It can’t be true and isn’t true. Those children judged ‘adorable ‘ (and otherwise) come in all shades of skin and with many different types of ethnic features.

So why do people say it?

To signal to you that they have noted your child’s mix and want you to know they are not racist?
Because a mixed child has the features they admire, big dark eyes or whatever, without too much of features they feel are associated with a non mixed POC?

I think many white people find mixed people the ‘safe’ or ‘acceptable’ , ‘approachable ‘ face of race.

Excellent succinct explanation, Barbie

I don't think it's racist. I also have a mixed race child if that's relevant.